I think that I would love to see

a still-in-college subsidy

An underwriting grant for drugs

absent the usual campus thugs

A fast-deposit monthly fee

from clown-prince Obama straight to me

I think a massage ~ hot-stones sounds nice

A guy to give it ~ please, no Old Spice

Some La Perla underwear would fit

If upon a male member I should sit

Chateaubriand? Oh, twice a week

and yoga class when peace I seek

Why should I spring for anything

when mental anguish makes me sting?

I'm such a pearl, I need life blessed

~See that anguish hit our chest?

[You narrow-minded little folk

  Can't take a tiny little joke.]

Sure I'm rutting like a sow

giving guys vajayjay now

It's all my right! I am Woman

Free birth control, I have it comin'!

Viva La Revolucion, mis ninas, yo!

Watch me bash our right-wing foe

Is it a fluke that Rush is roiled

when US kids are quite this spoiled?