Herman Cain fans should be grateful that he has had some batting practice, fending off the suspiciously timed rehash of charges of sexual harassment blown up by Politico and their pals over the past week. Citizen Cain is about to be presented with a wonderful opportunity to really hit one out of the park. None other than Gloria Allred, extortionist to the stars, has dug up another candidate in search of a payday claiming to have been sexually harassed by Mr. Cain.

How did he ever find time to run his pizza business with all the time he is accused of having spent philandering and oppressing the once-considered fairer sex?

Ms. Allred has never found a beleaguered mendicant for reparations sought under the guise of spurious political correctness whose 33% she was willing to refuse. Gloria practices law like Jesse Jackson practices the ministry, with a club in one hand and the other hand out-stretched in search of filthy lucre. As low as our national opinion of lawyers might be, Ms. Allred manages to give both lawyers and feminists a worse name every time she opens her big mouth.

Herman's lying in wait for her, as the tweet from his campaign staff suggests:

Welcome to the campaign, Gloria Allred. What took you so long?

What took her so long was the lack of a client without a confidentiality clause. The poor mopes who thought they were taking an easy payday by grifting the National Restaurant Association out of measly few tens of thousands of dollars are surely kicking themselves now that the opportunity for a tell-all book or a generous television exclusives seems certain to be dangled in front of the right feminist martyr.  I suspect that Gloria thinks she might be able to wrangle a significant payday out of this latest tool's well-coached performance.  

There isn't an issue you could name upon which Gloria has been on the right side of the equation. She has litigated against the "gender apartheid" of Boy Scouts, while standing strong for the rights of porn stars and courtesy girls.  Find a man embroiled in a sex scandal and shortly you will find Gloria Allred, media bullhorn in hand, poised and ready to seek a settlement to keep her client quiet.  Thank God there is someone like Gloria around to defend the right of American women to keep their nipple rings in place when flying American skies. Of course Ms. Allred is a supporter of same sex marriage and even managed to wrangle her way into the media circus that was the O.J. Simpson trial.

One couldn't write a better argument for tort reform than that provided by an examination of the significant cases crowed about by Ms. Allred's law firm, Allred Maroko Goldberg, on the opening page of their website.

Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country. And Mr. Cain could do us no better service than by humiliating the All Red extortionist in the national media for the next couple of days. Take off the gloves, please, Mr. Cain.

Ralph Alter is a regular contributor to American Thinker.