According to those who consider themselves our intellectual superiors on the left, we conservatives lack civility and graciousness in our assessment of the feckless head of their party, Barack Obama. There is no such thing as constructive criticism for these barking moonbats who stuck by Anthony Weiner until even Nancy Pelosi was repulsed by the antics of Chuckie Schumer's most prominent protégé.  Democrats still consider Charlie Rangel and Barney Frank respected colleagues, and their limping majority in the Senate is led by the preposterous Joe Biden. They really don't give us much to be gracious about.

In the spirit of fair play, I remain willing to challenge my assumptions and give the president another look. After a bit of contemplative study, I did find some areas where I feel I may have been remiss. Herewith I offer my compliments to B.O. for his redeeming qualities that I had previously overlooked.

The guy is a good provider and takes extraordinarily good care of his wife and kids, even if it is on our dime. Michelle and the girls are constantly on the go, jetting, limousining and shopping their way across the planet with a retinue of hundreds in a fashion akin to that formerly enjoyed only by royalty. Barry often sends a few dozen of Michelle's friends along for the ride. How many of us can say we treat our families so sumptuously?

While a significant portion of the American economy remains in the doldrums. Obama has single-handedly restored the teleprompter industry to economic health, and now we get word that, thanks to Barry the Green, America is rapidly rising in the world market on electric automobile battery production. According to Bill Clinton, under Obama's watch we have moved from 2% of the battery market up to 20%.  Let's accept Nissan's optimistic forecast of 12,000 electric Leafs to be delivered this year and that Chevy Volt sales are running neck-and-neck with the Japanese green palliative.  Our battery producers can expect to deliver 20% of 24,000 batteries this year, or 4800 units. We can generously give Battery Barry credit for at least 2 jobs produced in this industry, as one would think even a pair of UAW layabouts could produce 100 batteries a week in the state-of-the-art factories we taxpayers are providing.

B.O. remains a shining example of toleration as well. Toleration, that is, as defined by Lyton Strachey in his description of Sir Thomas Arnold:

..he believed in toleration, too, within limits. That is to say, in the toleration of those with whom he agreed.

The man I call Barely the President has been able to tolerate the antics of Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Van Jones and the Fort Hood shooter with barely a peep. Funny how his sudden distaste for corporate jets doesn't extend to the millions spent in a similar fashion by Nancy Pelosi. Remember when Fancy Nancy air-chauffeured her friends and family around the country while enjoying the fully stocked bar on the government jet she commandeered as Speaker of the House?   I guess Barry is just being tolerant regarding Pelosi's self-indulgent and grandiose extravagance.  May her plane forever be remembered as Airhead One, even to Barack the Tolerator.

And who among us wouldn't want to have Barack Obama as his boss? The only outfit with lower standards than this administration is a limbo contest. His Justice Department is fully stocked with racialists, former terrorist defenders and the type of lawyers who would have tried to get John Wilkes Booth off on a technicality. His head of Homeland Security is afraid to even mouth the word "terrorist" and has helped unionize the motley collection of gropers and gate-rapers laughingly called the Transportation Security Administration.  Thanks to Janet from Pantsuit Planet, overweight creeps who couldn't qualify to become mall cops are now free to feel up your wife, fondle your children and remove your grandmother's diaper.  The terror alert level under Diversity Jan has been gradually downgraded from "Ignore" to "Enable."

If you were to play Monopoly with our nimrod Secretary of the Treasury serving as the banker, by the time the game was half over, rent on Baltic Avenue would be $600 and Geithner would have brought in printing presses to produce the $50,000 bills you would need to navigate the board.  Obama's energy appointees have windmill fetishes and his education appointees are merely errand boys for the teacher unions. They probably have to put peanut butter on the inside doorknobs at the White House so Joe Biden can find his way out.

And yet they all continue to serve with Obama's blessing, along with the 454 White House staffers who will earn $37,121,463 of your tax dollars this year. Oh, Barry's generosity knows no bounds when it comes to handing out other people's money.

Perhaps B.O.'s greatest talent of all is that he is a brilliant master of illusion. From his appearance in Berlin at the Prussian Victory Column to the masterful stagecraft in concealing his birth records, school records and life history, not to mention his archives as Illinois State Senator, the Punahou Prestidigitator has successfully concealed his serial previous bumbling from public scrutiny.  Unfortunately for him, the world spotlight now reveals him as a preening intellectual lightweight lacking empathy, who doesn't play well with others. He does have a nice crease in his pants, however.

As a boy I was impressed by the illusions of famous magicians like Thurston the Great and Houdini. As a young man, I was stunned by David Copperfield's ability to make an elephant vanish before our very eyes. The Mighty B.O. puts all those other illusionists to shame. Together with his lovely media assistants who regularly allow themselves to be levitated by B.O. and are occasionally called upon to be cut in half, Obama has successfully managed to make 15 million American jobs, a quarter of the U.S. economy and America's positive debt rating and prestige abroad to disappear.

Top that Copperfield!