Fresh from his triumphant performance at last night’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner, where he wowed the audience (which included political analysis Sean Penn) with comedic jabs at Donald Trump and other people of real accomplishment, Barry O is set to thrill the crowds gathered for the big May Day Carnival.  The competition along the midway is intense this year as the sideshow barkers scratch and claw for those nearly invisible discretionary dollars, hoping to fleece their wide-eyed patrons before they reach the Obama tent.

“Czar Car, see the amazing Czar Car,” screamed the barker.  “Watch for yourself as dozens of White House Czars demonstrate how to save gasoline by sharing a single cab!”  Check it out if you want to, but I’m saving my money for the big show.

“Obamacare challenge, take the Obamacare challenge and win a prize,” cried the plastic faced barker (is that you Nancy?) as she pointed to the massive health care bill.  “Guess how much Obamacare weighs and win a health care waiver!”  This should be worth two-bits, rumor has it that the waiver is signed by “the one” and it should be a real collector’s item when the Obama Carnival finally closes.

“Tattooed lady, hear about the tattooed lady,” cried the barker outside the exhibit.  “Watch your favorite Marx Brother sing and dance!”  Don’t worry it isn’t Obama (Marx Brother, not Marxist) this one is worth the price of admission, step right up and watch a classic scene from that bygone era when Marx Brothers were both harmless and hilarious.

“Cowboy Poetry, Cowboy Poetry,” barked the strange old man.  “Hear me recite Cowboy Poetry!”  Feet don’t fail me now.

Hey, now this looks good.  “Rib eating contest, Buffalo Rib eating contest,” yelled the amateur dietitian.  “Beat the champ and win a lifetime supply of fresh vegetables from the White House garden!”  My enthusiasm for the contest died when I saw the champ, she’s way out of my league.

Nearing the Obama Tent, the sideshow exhibits became much more frightening as barkers cried out “Voter registration, new voter registration,” “card check, get your card check,” “windmills, windmills, get your green energy here,” and “Jesse Jackson, meet Jesse Jackson.” 

Finally the Big O Tent!  “Step right up, step right up and see ‘The Incredible Obama’,” barked the community organizer.  “Hurry, hurry, hurry, the big show is about to begin.  Watch The Incredible Obama perform feats of amazing athleticism.  See him as he juggles rounds of golf, daytime TV appearances, taxpayer funded vacations and party fund raisers while turning a blind eye to fiscal responsibility! 

“Feel the tingle run up your leg as you watch The Incredible Obama twist, spin and dodge his responsibilities while simultaneously maintaining a perfect crease in his slacks!”  “Listen in bemusement as the most in intelligent man in the world names all 57 states!”  “Hurry, hurry, hurry, the big show is about to begin!” 

What else does he do?  I asked the community organizer.  “Sorry, you’ll have to buy a ticket to find out what’s inside, but trust me it’s better than ‘Hope and Change.’” 

$35,000 per ticket just to see “The Incredible Obama”?  In this economy?  I know people who have seen his live show and they said it was awful, oh wait that was Charlie Sheen’s live tour, not that it matters.   Maybe I should have gone to that OFA seminar on “fainting for Obama,” they get in for free. 

May 1, 2011

paboehmke@yahoo.com