Seamus Obama's Dream

By James Lewis

Yo Bro, Seamus O'bama here, the last of the Black Irish. You know why I love the Irish? Cause they hate the Brits just like I do! "My name is Barack Obama, of the Moneygall Obamas, and I've come home!"

I mean, what's the B-R-I-T-I-S-H E-M-P-I-R-E? Gerry Adams? --- he's my Man. That Provisional IRA almost killed Maggie Thatcher. Way to go, brothers! Back at Harvard Law we yelled and cheered when the Provos almost blew up John Majors. First thing I did in the White House, I swear, is dump that big fat Winston Churchill bust. Sent it right back where it belongs. Imperialist bastard.

I love the Irish, I always loved Mare Daley in Chicago, and plus, my great-grand dad, my whole one-quarter family come from Connemara. I'm more Irish than Ronald Reagan and Maureen O'Hara. True fact.

Did you know you the Celts were the first people in England? Swear to God. It's true. The Celts -- that's the Irish Celts -- were there, and then the Anglos invaded and turned the Celts into slaves, and the Saxons, and the Normans, all them paleface Euro tribes. The Irish just got pushed and pushed and pushed into the boonies -- into Ireland, Wales, Scotland, ‘cause the Anglos want it all.

All that land belongs to you. Just like Israel and the Arabs. Palestine is Arab land. The Jews can go back to Poland or No Land. It's always the white imperialist oppressors beatin' up on the Black Man.

Now long-term, all them islands need to go back to the First Peoples. The "United Kingdom" ain't united, it's no kingdom, and it' ain't British. It's what they stole from the Celts, the Irish.

You know what those imperialist swine did to my folks in Africa? Hellooo! Jomo Kenyatta and the Mau Mau anybody? My whole life I've hated those imperialist gray Euroswine.

The United States is just another imperialist conquest of the Black Man and the Native Americans by them British white folks.

Like my old Priest, Father Jeremiah O'Wright, always used to tell the Trinity Unity Church, "Och, Aye, Man, Ye ken them Irish be yo natural brothers."

So it's Up the Irish! Jesus, Mary and Saint Patrick!

I'll drink a pint of real Guinness to that!