PrintApril 12, 2011
The White House Needs One More Czar
In January 2009, American voters quickly noticed the elephant in the room: Mr. Hope and Change was actually just another celebrity with an addiction. A spending addiction. And he has our credit card. Our first order of business was to dispatch an emissary from the masses to suggest he show a little restraint. We got our chance when Scott Brown was elected in January, 2010 to fill Senator Ted Kennedy's remaining term. "Surely Mr. Obama will listen to a moderate from Massachusetts when he mentions people are starting to talk" we mused.
Undeterred, the President forged ahead with his agenda, following his "timely, targeted, and temporary" $780 billion stimulus with his multi-trillion dollar legislative dream: ObamaCare.
We pleaded with our Congressmen, harangued them at town hall meetings, begging them to corral our young leader and his wild dreams of exchanges, mandates, and public options.
Finally, We The People drafted an entire cadre of new faces to send to Washington to do an intervention with Mr. Obama and the new year of 2011 seemed so full of promise.
Unfortunately, the tough love of the Tea Party freshmen was met by an astonishing White House budget request of $3.7 trillion... talk about historic. When the only concession they got was an agreement to cut $38 billion from the 2011 (that would be last year's) budget, it became obvious to me that we need a true expert involved to help our President face the demons of his addiction to our money.
Which brings me to my original proposition: we need a spending addiction czar. Now, this man needs to have an extensive background in dealing with addiction, and must also be adept at treating celebrities, who nearly always have enormous egos, and are surrounded by sycophantic enablers (Nancy Pelosi come to mind?). Therefore, after watching a few episodes of Celebrity Rehab, I nominate Dr. Drew to become our spending addiction czar, and request that he be present in any and all budget negotiations between the White House and Congress, to help the President deal with his feelings, and assure him the People will still love him even though he can't give everything to everybody (while charging it to 48% of everybody and their kids of course), and that the road to recovery begins with admitting there is more to life than spending $1.5 trillion a year more than we actually have.
This idea is actually a win-win compromise, and a teachable moment, two of Obama's favorite phrases, in that he gets another czar, and we get a fighting chance at saving our Republic.
