PrintMarch 15, 2011
Supplemental SAT for Wisconsin Students
After watching Wisconsin public school teachers phone in sick dishonestly and scream death threats inside the state capitol building, employers and college admissions administrators must have grave concerns about the quality of education in Wisconsin. Here are some simple questions recruiters can use to evaluate applicants graduating from Wisconsin public schools.
1) Basic Economics
A union member says that without the union, his salary and benefits would be lower. In a free market economy, such statements automatically prove that the union member currently is:
- a) Underpaid
- b) Overpaid
2) Human Rights
Workers are granted the choice of joining a union and paying dues or not joining and not paying dues. In the past, they had been forced to pay union dues either way. The workers now have:
- a) Less freedom
- b) More freedom
3) Psychology
A union protects underperforming teachers from getting fired. Your teacher gets drunk every weekend and rather than teaching on Monday, sits in the back of the room and asks students in each of his classes to show funny YouTube videos for the entire hour. From that you can conclude that your underperforming teacher is:
- a) Less likely to be a union member
- b) More likely to be a union member
4) Sociology
Due to a budget shortfall, teachers are given the choice of pitching in and paying a small amount for some of their generous benefits, or laying off 1500 of their fellow employees. The teachers demand the layoffs. The teachers are:
- a) Altruistic
- b) Selfish
5) Political Science
Teacher compensation is much higher, on average, than the compensation of the taxpayers that employ them. The teachers also work far fewer hours per year. Still, the teachers claim that the taxpayers are greedy. Democrat politicians and big media pundits believe that the public is too stupid to notice the hypocrisy. The Democrats and leftist pundits are:
- a) Right
- b) Guilty of wishful thinking
6) Civics
A governor is elected to office in a fair election and dutifully begins to implement his campaign promises. When the governor carries out the will of the voters, the childish election losers stop working, then protest and scream defamatory charges about the governor. The protestors compare the governor to another historical political figure. In reality, the governor's behavior is more like that of:
- a) Adolf Hitler
- b) James Madison
Graduates of private high schools will know instantly that "b" is the correct answer to all six questions. Therefore, this supplemental exam provides statistically significant evidence that employers and college admissions administrators should reject the applications of Wisconsin public school graduates that get the answers wrong, as they clearly are ill equipped to be responsible adults. Unless, of course, the brainwashed, mal-educated adolescents want to become public school teachers. For that career, they are eminently qualified.
