PrintNovember 29, 2010
Tales of 57 States: While His Obamaness Dribbled The Wikis Leaked
During the Turkey Festival in the 2nd year of the reign of His Obamaness as POTUS of the Realm of 57 States, strange and bizarre events did occur. Several of which caused the commoners of the Realm to scratch their heads, saying to one another, "Wasup with that?"
One strange event was the announcement that the senator from the State of Kennedy, Sir Jonathan "Lurch" Kerry, the richest senator of all, would host a gala event in Bean Town to honor himself as a longtime leader among the Donkey Clan. Donkey minstrels, and at least one aging singer from the days of the war against Emperor Ho, will entertain the Donkey herd. Also in attendance will be the famous thespian Benjamin Affleck, no relation to the popular duck that stars in an insurance commercial. In his most recent play, Benjamin portrays a robber who heroically participates in the murder of several Bean Town gendarmes. Here's the event's theme song in honor of Sir Jonathan.
It also happened around Turkey Day that, while the commoners were gorging themselves and giving thanks for the Native Americans who, according to His Obamaness, made it all possible, the Regime's Ministry of Security Services, led by the one they call Big Sis, shut down scores of renegade websites to protect the people from pirates and bandits. Heralded by some as a good thing, others wondered if this power, left unchecked, might be the beginning of a song once sung by a minstrel group named after an insect but spelled differently.
While commoners across the Realm looked forward to their Turkey Day nap, it was made known that Ramesses One, the grand Egyptian yacht invented during the time of the Pharaohs that His Obamaness used to visit the 57 States and other Realms, cost the peasants of the Realm $181,757 per hour to row. While some said that His Obamaness, being royalty Hisownself, deserved to travel in high style, others said, if it gets Him out of the Realm for a few days it's a bargain.
Alas, there were several other happenings around Turkey Day worthy of note. An emissary who claimed to represent the Tally Band -- a group that played not with instruments but with AK-47's -- was revealed to be an imposter who conned millions from His Obamaness' diplomats, bringing much embarrassment to the Regime. Also, the Emperor of N. Korea, Kim-the-Ill-One, who was displaying much belligerency toward his southern neighbors, the Hyundai's, was invited by His Obamaness to attend a Golf Summit, even though the-Ill-One was said to be among the best golfers on the planet, having shot eleven holes-in-one on his first round of golf ever.
And, in what was yet another bizarre event of the Turkey Season, a group called the Council on American-Islamic Relations suggested that traveling women who wear the hijab as followers of Mohammed should be permitted by Big Sis "to pat down your scarf, including head and neck area, and have the officers perform a chemical swipe of your hands."
But perhaps the strangest happening during Turkey Time came to pass when His Obamaness was struck in the face while playing basketball. This happened as a group of Wikis spread stolen copies of the Regime's most secret letters across the planet. So it came to pass that, while His Obamaness dribbled, the Wikis leaked.
