Dan Rather Thinks Obama is Articulate but Can't Sell Watermelons

By Ethel C. Fenig

Dan Rather, former star network newsreader, is continuing to make news. Rather, of the fake but accurate letters supposedly proving that then president George W. Bush (R) used daddy's influence to avoid serving in the Armed Forces, proved to be an inglorious finale to Rather's career.

But Rather babbles on , most appropriately --where else?-- on Chris Matthews' increasingly irrelevant show. Expressing disappointment in Barack Obama (D), Rather concluded, as only a liberal can,

`Listen, he's a nice person, he's very articulate,' this is what's going to be used against him. But he couldn't sell watermelons if it--you gave him the state troopers to flag down the traffic.

But don't worry about Dan Rather and Chris Matthews being called a racist for this stereotypical insight. They are liberals. Unlike conservatives, who would be ruined for linking Obama with watermelons, liberals can't be racists so the two of them will be praised. And since Matthews' legs get so tingly at the thought of Obama that Matthews forgets Obama is black--certainly there is a reason that Matthews has scrubbed Rather's comments from his show's website.