What Did Obama's People Say to the King of Norway?

By Joseph Ashby

News reports continue to circulate about the anger in Norway over the brevity of President Obama’s visit. Obama has declined invitations to various festivities traditionally attended by the Peace Prize recipient.

In particular Obama has declined a lunch invitation with Norway’s King Harald V. It makes me wonder what Obama’s people said to King Harald’s people.

[Phone ringing]

Obama’s Rep: Hello.

King’s Rep: The distinguished king of Norway would like to extend the traditional lunch invitation to the Nobel Peace Prize winner President Barack Obama.

Obama’s Rep: King of Norway, seriously? How many of you countries still have these figure head royal families?

King’s Rep: Um…well I don’t really know, I…

Obama’s Rep: Look buddy, Barack’s a busy guy. I mean, he’s the most famous man in world history. Who’s the most famous person ever to eat lunch with your king, Al Gore? Gore ran against George Bush in 2000 and lost. Barack ran against George Bush in 2008 and won. So what does that tell you?

Look, I’ll tell you what--you seem like a nice guy, I’m sure your king is great, I want to help you out--why don’t I run to Wal-Mart and get him a bag of DVD’s? We’ll say they’re from the President--that will put you on par with our oldest and most trusted ally.

King’s Rep: The Norwegian people would take it as a great insult if the President does not attend lunch with the king.

Obama’s Rep: And we feel terrible, really we do. Alright, alright, you drive a pretty hard bargain. What would you say to a bow? How can you pass that up--the leader of the most powerful nation on earth bowing to your no-name, quasi-defunct monarch? Can’t beat that, right?

King’s Rep: I am beginning to dislike the era of ‘hope and change.’

Obama’s Rep: Hey, you don’t have to tell me buddy. I live in America, remember? If I weren’t sucking the public dry with this unnecessary White House staff job, I don’t know what I’d be doing. Gotta go buddy, another day, another industry to nationalize, you know how it is.

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