April 9, 2009
The First White House Seder
Barack Obama will become the first U.S. president on Thursday evening to host a White House Seder.
To bring the Haggadah in conformity with the age of Obama, here's a memo to the President on how to spin potentially embarrassing passages:
--"This year we are here; next year we shall be in the land of Israel." Add the following: "....which we are prepared to share with our friendly Palestinian neighbors."
--"In every generation there are those who rise against us to annihilate us." Add the following: ''...but fear not as long as I am in the White House."
--"And the Egyptians did evil unto us, and tormented us, and laid hard labor upon us." Add the following: "...but Egypt made up for it by signing a peace treaty with Israel."
--"The Egyptians received plagues, including hail, frogs, locusts, vermin..." Add the following: "....a prophetic warning about the perils of global warming."
"And his sword is unsheathed in his hand, outstretched over Jerusalem..." Add the following: "....whose permanent status remains to be negotiated under the Annapolis process."
"Blessed art thou, Lord, our God King of the Universe, for the good, wide, lovely land, which thou hast willed to give as an inheritance to our fathers...." Add the following: "... MINUS Jordan, the Golan Heights, Gaza, Judea, Samaria, East Jerusalem and the Old City of Jerusalem."
Hag Sameach, Happy Passover, Mr. President!