The Dinky Demobile

By Jan LaRue

When I checked out El Rushbo's Web site today, I thought he was spoofing about GM's joint venture with Segway to build the "Personal Urban Mobility Accessibility" vehicle, dubbed the P.U.M.A. Oh, no.

According to the Minneapolis Star-Tribune:

"The 300-pound prototype runs on a lithium-ion battery and uses Segway's characteristic two-wheel balancing technology, along with dual electric motors. It's designed to reach speeds of up to 35 miles-per-hour and can run 35 miles on a single charge."

Here's the best part. The P.U.M.A "also would involve a vast communications network that would allow vehicles to interact with each other, regulate the flow of traffic and prevent crashes from happening." I'd love to hear how they interact with a New York cab driver.

From the looks of P.U.M.A., I'm guessing that the same Democrats who want to run GM are in on the design. Think about it:

Dick Durbin rack and pinion steering means there's no way in hell you're making a right turn
The Nancy Pelosi Perrier water pump with the optional lime squeeze valve
The Chuck Schumer horn won't stop even after you're flattened by an 18-wheeler
Harry Reid Offstar GPS can't find the way out of your garage
The Al Gore heater is a nasty lecture debunking the myth of cold air
Barbara Boxer distributor caps look just like government-subsidized Planned Parenthood condoms
The Robert Gibbs exhaust manifold sucks the carbon dioxide out of your lungs before you're ready to exhale
The Eric Holder universal joint eases your pain while the battery recharges
The Barney Frank tailgate handle makes cruising so much easier
The George Soros drive train takes you anywhere he wants you to go
The Dennis Kucinich alternator is a pack of teensy-weensy solar lights
A 2000 page repair manual keeps you company in the second seat
You can get any color you want as long as it's green
The government warranty has a disclaimer advising that you can't sue the sovereign without permission, and you ain't gonna get it