Newspaper editors' convention scrapped

By Ralph Alter

Following the cancellation of their annual convention for only the second time in 86 years, the American Society of Newspaper Editors is considering draconian measures to right their leaky vessels. Foremost among the proposed solutions is a name change for the group. The Canadian Press reports:

Although this year's convention won't be held, the American Society of Newspaper Editors will still vote on a proposed name change that would reflect the Internet's growing importance.

It's hard to imagine how American paperboys can continue to lose our newspapers in the bushes without the stimulation provided by the annual ASNE convention. The group's most vital activities are:

1.) Monitoring diversity in its member newsrooms and sponsoring diversity workshops.
2.) Creating awards and considering its members for them and writing about the awards and the members who receive them.
3.) Pestering journalism schools and educators and holding foreign exchange seminars to pester foreign journalists.

I'm sure it's hard to believe that American newspapers are struggling to make it financially despite this rigorous combination of political correctness and Amway marketing principles.

With an eye toward helping preserve the once-hallowed institution of print journalism, I offer these 10 new names for consideration by the American Society of Newspaper Editors:

1.) The Barack Obama Hagiography Project.
2.) The Hey-Over Here with that Stimulus Society
3.) The Federation of Not-so-Confidential Sources
4.) Diversity-R-Us
5.) Where's the Fairness Doctrine Now that We Need it Society
6.) The Fourth Estate Leftovers League
7.) Birdcage Liners, Fish-wrap & Beyond
8.) Editorials-n-Things
9.) The News Factory
10.) I Can't Believe It's News

Any one of these colorful titles might well restore a bit of elan to an industry about to follow the Nehru jacket and the dime novel into the dustbin of American cultural history.

The editors at ASNE simply haven't recognized that their preachiness, obvious partisanship and smug editorializing amounted to a program of planned obsolescence.

Ralph Alter blogs at Right on Target