Baracktionary: New shiny happy names for bad stuff

As Rick Moran reported earlier here on the AT blog, a Pentagon directive asks employees to substitute the term "War on Terror" with "Overseas Contingency Operation."

Rick also mentioned that a few days ago, Janet Napolitano, President Obama's new Homeland Security Secretary, told the German newspaper Spiegel that in order to move away from the politics of fear toward a policy of being prepared for all risks that can occur, she will now refer to "terrorism" as "man-caused disasters."

This got me to thinking what I always think when any PC ball gets rolling: "What's Next?"

Here's where all this could be headed-get ready to use these "new" terms:

Old, outdated name = New, progressive name

War = Appeasement opportunity

Al Qaeda = GWAFAIBSVPOALOT ("Guys with a few anger issues but some valid points on a lot of things")

Loot = Corporate executive bonuses

Iran going nuclear = Enrico Fermi's Fairness Doctrine

Tax increases = Elevated levels of involuntary patriotism

Illegal aliens = voters

Seizing companies = Community progress

Gaza violence = Jimmy Carter Stimulus Package

Russia basing bombers in Cuba = Bay of Hope

Partial birth abortion = Stem cell research volunteer

Hijacking = Mid-air pilot shift-change initiated by unaddressed sociopolitical grievance

Suicide bombing = Goin' all AIG on everybody

I still can't believe that the Obama Administration hasn't yet changed the name of "Homeland Security" to "The Department of Global Unprovocative Non-Threatening Response -- if That's Okay With You"
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