Calling All Czars!

By Randall Hoven

Minnie Pearl talked of a cousin who bought bushels of hay for $5 each, trucked them to customers out of town, and sold them for $4 each. Minnie said, "You ain't makin' money that way." Her cousin said, "You're right, I need a bigger truck."

Or maybe he needed a czar. A car czar. How bizarre. The auto bailout would make more sense if it were a Dr. Seuss book.

Here is what Robert Lutz, vice chairman of GM, said in an interview :

"I wouldn't like to speculate what would unfold, but suffice it to say the survival of the company as we know it would be highly questionable if we don't get some bridge loan."

Note the phrase "as we know it." As we know it! The company as we know it is losing $2 billion a month! We don't want the GM we know; we want a different GM. We want a GM that makes money.

"You're selling cars for $25,000 but it costs you $27,000 to make them. You're not making money."

"You're right. I need a bigger loan."

Who would lend money to a guy who is losing money and says he doesn't want to change his business? Apparently, Congress.

I know, that's not fair. Congress does want the auto companies to change. It wants the auto companies to stop making the kinds of cars that sell and start making the kinds of cars that don't sell. And the car companies say, "Deal!" It's easier to keep up with the conversation at the Mad Hatter's tea party.

Now that the GOP has lost the Presidency, majority status in the House, majority status in the Senate, helped pass a $700B bailout that the Republican "TARP Czar" doesn't know what to do with, and has less than a month of a lame duck session to go, it's sticking to its free-market guns.

And OJ is sorry and Rod Blagojevich did nothing wrong. Just another day in America.