Sarah Palin completely exonerated in new 'Troopergate' report

By Ethel C. Fenig

P-s-s-t. Hey, investigative reporters, do I have a scoop for you; it's about Governor Sarah Palin (R-Alaska).

I knew you'd be interested.

A new report just released -- hours before the polls open on Election Day -- exonerates Gov. Sarah Palin in the Troopergate controversy.

The state Personnel Board-sanctioned investigation is the second into whether Palin violated state ethics law in firing her public safety commissioner, and it contradicts the earlier findings by a special counsel hired by the state Legislature.

Both investigations found that Palin was within her rights to fire Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan.

But the new report says the Legislature's investigator was wrong to conclude that Palin abused her power by allowing aides and her husband, Todd, to pressure Monegan and others to dismiss her ex-brother-in-law, Trooper Mike Wooten. Palin was accused of firing Monegan after Wooten stayed on the job.

What's that? You say this is not important, that Governor Palin is guilty because you just know that a woman who has five children is automatically guilty of something. What's that? You have to leave because you have some important information proving that Palin was the person hanging out with terrorists who blew up buildings and she thinks jobs is a three letter word that President Franklin D. Roosevelt said on television in 1929.

Of course.