Well, whaddaya know? The very same week that Nature journal revealed that we are all going to die from a Global Ice Age -- pay attention out there, kids, it's not Global Warming after all -- the "experts" on paranoia are telling us that, Yes, we are surrounded by a fast-growing paranoia epidemic!      

It's enough to make a person feel very, very suspicious.

Personally I'm all in favor of a Paranoia Epidemic, just because it would cut out the middle man. Right now the Global Warming Industry is being stoked by an endless series of paranoid stories in the media. A whole pseudo-science of climate modeling, the New Astrology, is getting the big bucks to make up scare stories. The UN is tumbling all over itself trying to "solve" Global Warming. And yes, Barack Obama is a True Believer in all that farcical pseudo-science -- or at least in the political juice you can squeeze out of it.

Watch for the Feds to put a lot more junk scientists on the payroll in the Obama years, who will justify their money by rolling out more horror stories, which will take more experts to study, and so on, ad infinitum. OK, that's all good clean graft. The trouble is that Global Warming is really expensive paranoia. Everybody is getting money out of it except the people who pay taxes.

But today, science brings you paranoia on the cheap! All we need is to get very, very worried about the Paranoia Epidemic. No middle man, no parasitical U-N-ocrats to ride the gravy train. Eh, voila! As Hercule Poirot would say. If you get bored with that one, we have the answer --- It's a Paranoia Paranoia Epidemic. You don't need to be just plain paranoid anymore. All you need is to get really paranoid about the growing paranoia pandemic.

Glorious tales of PPE will keep the media agog for years. 

Yes, you can make fear, ignorance and superstition pay. All you do is major in Communications, and if you look cute enough on TV you can be doing the local news right out of college. There you will learn to make your audience feel just as paranoid as possible -- because fear -- or even the fear of fear -- or maybe the fear of fear of fear -- keeps those suckers  glued to the tube. Don't know much about history? Don't know much about geography? No problem!  You, too, can make the big bucks selling the screaming meemies to the masses.

In due course Barack Obama is bound for a Nobel Peace Prize -- not for spreading fear about Planetary Doom ‘midst Fire and Ice, like Al Go re, but for calling the world's attention to a new pandemic, a newly discovered Planetary Mental Disorder of Paranoia Paranoia Paranoia. Yes, folks, it's the fear of the fear of fear itself. Fear Cubed. Experts are even now rushing to study this new threat to your life, and will soon be supplying more hair-raising tales to the mentally challenged.

There's a stellar political career looking for a new Prophet of Doom. Do we have any takers? Does John Edwards need a new schtick? Do you need any highly trained experts to testify at the forthcoming Congressional Hearings on the PPP Pandemic? Hurry, hurry, hear all about it.