Taking a Cold Shower

The party's over. The balloons have fallen. I spoke on Al Jazeera. And the anarchists are all safely home in bed (after a good week of mayhem) curled up with a copy of Das Kapital.

After a slow start on Monday, the Republicans have put on quite a show. Quickly, here are my grades for the main speakers:

Fred Thompson: A- (Cicero barely stumbles.)

Joe Lieberman: B (Daniel enters the lions' den to find purring pussycats. Notice I have lowered his grade from a B to a B. The only time I heard the soon-to-be-archaic phrase "global warming" was in his speech. "Climate change" will replace it. Mark my words.)

Mitt Romney: A- If not for the religious bigots, this man could [and should] have been president.

Mike Huckabee: C- (Something about those Arkansas governors that makes me think of the word "slick.")

Ruddy Giuliani: B (Special note to Rudy: Let's go drink a couple of beers together. I'll tell you all about my adopted black son and my two precious mixed race grandsons who will carry my name when I die. Maybe we can straighten out this pro-choice problem of yours.)

Tom Ridge: C (Ouch. But he clearly likes John McCain. What are friends for? Keynote speeches, apparently.)

Sarah Palin: A (She deserves an A -- but I am a strict opponent of grade inflation. In my class you must earn it. Maybe next semester when she is vice president!)

John McCain: B (He turned in a great outline. But will his final paper, as president, live up to tonight's sketch?)

My mother told me not to get caught up in the hoopla and the rhetoric of this convention ... but I can't help myself. Sarah Palin is a diamond in the rough. Bobby Jindal is the hope of the future. Mitt Romney is the real deal. Ruddy Giuliani could be the real deal -- if he will just sit down with me and have a beer. And none of them are current or former congressmen or senators. (I'll explain why this is important in a moment.)

The Republicans really do have a shot at keeping their promises, for once. But, let's be real, it's a long, long, long shot. Here are some of the things that stand in their way:

1. A Democrat controlled House and Senate. Senators are ... the good old boys in the Senate. Things are looking bleak for this November's House and Senate elections and John McCain is going to have very short coattails.

2. The Supreme Court. This country desperately needs a conservative majority on the Supreme Court. McCain has been all about compromise when it comes to judicial appointments. Do you really think he is going to go to war with his buddies in the Senate over a Supreme Court nomination? And if he does, do you think he has a snowball's chance in hell to win that war?

3. Energy prices. See #1. Offshore drilling? More nuclear energy? Over Nancy Pelosi's and Harry Reid's dead bodies. Without reasonably priced fossil fuels this economy is going to wither and then die.

4. Lobbyists. If you only knew what I know. I have covered both the DNC and the RNC for American Thinker and both conventions were crawling with lobbyists. Cash was being handed out at both conventions faster than you can say, "special interests." Sarah Palin, super woman that she is, doesn't have a moose rifle big enough to kill this beast. Lobbyist reform ain't gonna happen. The lobbyists are the bread and butter, make that the champaign and caviar, of almost every member of the House and Senate. You really didn't believe that talk about lobbyist reform ... did you?

5. Unfunded liabilities. If the House and Senate only knew what every economist knows. This country is technically, and not so technically, bankrupt. And deficit spending is out of control. See #1 (again.) Sarah Palin doesn't have a hunting knife sharp enough to skin this moose.

Still ... still ... this is America. To paraphrase what I thought was one of McCain's best lines: "We've been through worse than this."

Yes we have. The United States is the greatest, strongest, God's miracle of a country on this earth. (Now I am starting to sound like a politician -- but I believe this with all of my heart.) We can, and we will, figure out a way, some way, to overcome these problems. All we need is some leadership. Will John and Sarah be the ones?

Larrey Anderson has covered both the DNC and the RNC for American Thinker. His latest award winning novel is The Order of the Beloved.

P.S.

Goodnight from Minneapolis. It has been a sincere pleasure to have covered both the DNC and the RNC for American Thinker. Our readers are the best and the brightest. The AT team, of writers and editors, is top notch.