Episode 4, Tales of 57 States: The Elephant Clan Gathers

By Kyle-Anne Shiver and Lee Cary

After the Clan of Donkeys picked their champions in the race for Potus and Potus, Jr., the Clan of Elephants gathered for the same reason.

Now it was clear that John the Warrior would be chosen lead pachyderm. But the choice of who would run with John was not clear. And that caused must speculation as the Elephant Clan Gathering approached.

As His running mate, His Obamaness, champion of the Donkeys, had chosen an elder Donkey able to explain to Him many things worldly - Joseph the Garrulous. The Donkeys heralded Joseph as one who could give wise counsel concerning other realms to His Obamaness when He spoke with leaders of places far away. You see, His Obamaness lacked knowledge beyond the city ruled by the Daley Tribe on the Lake of Michigan.

Joseph the Garrulous had once proclaimed he would never run second behind another, and, also, that His Obamaness, whom he called "clean," was not prepared to be Potus. But these things were quickly forgotten when Joseph was offered a chance to speak long and often while many people listened. For you see, above all else, Joseph found the sound of his own voice most pleasing to his ears.

As the time came for John the Warrior to name him with whom he would run, the Clan of Donkeys prepared to joyously proclaim, "So, here come the Elephants, led again by two white men."

Their anticipation of joy was increased by Michael the Large, a prominent member of the Thespian Guild, a craft widely supportive of Donkeys, and Don of Fowlertown, once a great chief among the brayers. Both Big Donkeys prophesied that the Ruler of Weather, not His Obamaness in this case, had looked with favor upon the Donkeys by sending a great storm toward the city called Big Easy in order to disrupt the Elephant Gathering. When word of their prophecy reached the people of the Realm, both weathermen were quick to claim, "Oh, we spoke in jest." But many among the people of the Realm frowned upon the two Donkeys, and did not laugh. Not even a little.

Meanwhile, John paraded his possible running mates past members of the Town Crier Guild, most of whom were Donkeys, although they kept their ears mostly stuffed under scarves and hats. White man after white man paraded past the Criers who eagerly awaited a chance to proclaim, "So, here come the Elephants, again led by two white men. But behold the Donkeys, for they are the truly inclusive ones."

It came, then, with much surprise and chagrin, to both Criers and Donkeys alike, when John chose for his racing mate one from the largest of the 57 states, a bold leader, familiar with woods and lakes, and Chief among the land of glaciers and mountains. Yet, one who was a commoner, young and attractive, and a speaker of firm and clear thoughts -- Princess Sarah of the Frozen Tundra.

When told of this, the stunned Town Criers said, "What?" While the Donkeys brayed, "Whaaaaaat?"

The Donkeys were slow to find reason to call Princess Sarah unworthy, but quick to begin the search with help from the Town Crier Guild. They began by saying that she was without experience to be Potus, Jr. But, because she was as experienced as His Obamaness, that fell on inattentive ears among the people. So, soon they began to examine members of her family.

Meanwhile, Joseph the Garrulous said, "Hum, this woman, Sarah, is not hard on the eyes." For you see, Joseph could speak words of apparent praise when praise was not his intent.

[hat tip: Gerard Baker, Times of London, Master Craftsman of this Literary Genre]