PrintAugust 5, 2008
Barack Obama: oil change you can believe in
My sin of driving a high performance car has been absolved by Barack Obama. For two years I've been driving a 350 horse Road and Track package Dodge Charger R/T that gets only 15 miles per gallon around town. At first I had trouble finding a parking spot next to a Toyota Prius . But today, my Charger and I stick out like a sea lion amidst penguins where Prius's outnumber gas guzzlers ten to one. I have endured the ugly stares and audible murmurings from the enviro watchdogs who believe my Charger commits crimes against humanity every time those dual Magnaflow pipes roar. But I have been saved.
Obama offered the cure for my megalomania and enviro-guilt by suggesting higher tire pressures could improve my mpg .. What a relief . I was dreading giving up legit 130 mph on the Maine Turnpike. And to think in a moment of weakness I nearly traded my Charger for a hybrid last month.
The McCain camp has had a ball in making great fun of Obama's Mike Dukakis-esque comment that drivers can beat back $4.00 a gallon at the pump by properly inflating their tires. The McCain campaign workers no longer give out lapel pins or bumper stickers. Instead they are now giving out Obama inspired tire pressure gauges, and as noted by Rick Moran in AT.
What a hoot. The Mike Dukakis moment in 1988 was the ridiculous photo op in the M-1 Abrams tank; John Kerry's in 2004 was windsurfing. The Obama moment is Barack decked out in a Jiffy Lube service attendant uniform. And Barack has more than one suggestion straight out of Popular Mechanics magazine . He also says drivers should make sure their cars have a "tune-up". Of course, with electronic ignitions and spark plugs lasting 100,000 miles, the last car to have need for a tune-up was a 1976 Plymouth Duster-fitting since that was the beginning of the Jimmy Carter presidency. Barack, the Auto Mechanic-In-Chief, would have as much trouble finding a set of points, a condenser and distributor rotor to "tune" as he has in finding a domestic energy policy that makes sense to anyone.
To be fair, better auto and truck maintenance does fit the Obama platform : "Change We Can Believe In". Oil change, that is. Surely Barack the Auto Mechanic-In-Chief would recommend an oil change using a synthetic 15W/50 motor oil, more friction resistant and containing fewer volatile organic compounds. Or how about folding back your rear view mirrors reducing windage? Anyone for replacing those factory hubcaps with 1950 style moonies that cover the entire wheel streamlining the wind flow along the rocker panel?
Well, the truth is that auto mechanics is just another skill set Obama doesn't have. Unless he chooses as his running mate Ross Perot, the 1992 independent candidate, who could show Obama how to "get under the hood and fix it".
