Love Client Number 9 (to the tune of 'Love Potion Number Nine')

By Daryl Montgomery and Jack Kemp

I took my troubles down to Madame X
Hey, you know it's just a-bout sex
She's got a pad painted puce and lime
Sellin' little bimbos to Love Client Number Nine
I told her I had a dull sex life
But do not tell that to my wife
She looked at my palm and she made a magic sign
She said "Your voter I-D is Love Client Number Nine"
She bent down and turned around and gave me a wink
She said "You gotta wash up right here in the sink"
She told me there won't be any scandal press ink
I held my breath, I took a step, I crossed the brink
I didn't know if it was day or night
I kissed every Clinton groupie within sight
But when I kissed a cop down on K Street one time
She busted me for bein' Love Client Number Nine

[guitar solo]

I held my breath, I took a step, I crossed the brink
I didn't know if it was day or night
I kissed every Clinton groupie within sight
But when I kissed a cop down on K Street one time
She busted me for bein' Love Client Number Nine
Love Client Number Nine
Love Client Number Nine
Love Client Number Nine

(Jack Kemp is not the politician of the same name)