Campaign 2008 Lost and Found

By Ralph Alter

Lost: One Super Delegate from the Hillary Clinton camp. Disgraced and humiliated Governor Eliot Spitzer is certain to be a casualty here -- the exposure of Spitzer's predilection for pricey whores is not in synch with the Clinton camp's preference for trailer trash.

Found: The Republican's opportunity to hang the scandal of sexual impropriety around the Democrat's neck à la Larry Craig. But will the GOP find the political will to bell this cat?

Lost: Barack Obama's innocence. March has not been a banner month for Campaign Sunbeam Hope. The erosive drip of revelations has begun from the trial of bagman Tony Rezko, Barack's generous backer, the enabler of his house purchase. And it appears that Campaign Cackle is beginning to lure Barack into the attack mode. I don't recall Martin Luther King ever going for the kneecaps.

Found: Another month's supply of oxygen for the campaign of Hillary Clinton. Both candidate and staff looked badly gassed a month ago, but an infusion of Republican crossover votes in Texas and Ohio spurred by the Mighty El Rushbo has momentarily revived the Hillbills.

Lost: Denny Hastert's former seat in possibly the only Republican district in Illinois. Maybe running 3 time loser Jim Oberweis wasn't such a good idea. This might not seem related to the Presidential campaign but....

Found: One fresh Superdelegate for Barack Obama: Jim Foster, the Congressman-elect, was supported by the Obama campaign and is considered Obama's friend.

Lost: Barack Obama's pro-Palestinian, off-beat senior advisor, Samantha Power after damning Hillary Clinton with faint praise by calling her a monster.

Found: A lively and vitriolic response from the Retired Monsters Home in Tempe, Arizona, where a spokesmonster commented,

"We have been vilified and hated and rooted against for years, but we have really done nothing to deserve this low blow. You can hate us and kill us off in movie after movie, but no monster wants to be compared to Hillary Clinton."