A vengeful goddess?

By Jerry Rodeheaver

As we approach the official start of hurricane season on June 1st it appears that this will be the first one without "Acts of God." Since we have taken God out of the schools and the rest of American society, we can no longer blame these storms on Him. But with the fervent rise of religious environmentalism we now have a new deity to worship and to explain weather phenomena. That deity is Gaia the Greek earth goddess, better known as Mother Earth; and she is mad and going to get even with us until everything is put back in order.

So at whom is she mad? Look in the mirror. It's you. You are to believe that the earth shall cry out for vengeance like the blood of Able in Genesis. Ecophobia means you should feel quilt and fear, and bow down at the alter of nature to worship. Maybe offer a cow sacrifice to atone for your sins and help eliminate bovine gas.

If this doesn't work, then the last stand for earth's sake could be the redeployment of eugenics as practiced by Nazis in the last century. Elimination of people by disease, poison, selective breeding, abortion and hurricanes would put everything in balance as required.

The only question that is left is ,who is it that decides who goes or stays?