Madness descended upon the campaign trail as Sen John Kerry stepped on his own self—implanted land mine.  Caught on videotape continuing his thread of disparaging and contemptuous remarks about our soldiers and marines that actually started in 1971, Sen Kerry now blames his deliberate 'gaffe' on the GOP conspirators  I can't wait to see the diagnosis on Sen Kerry from Charles Krauthammer, political columnist, TV pundit and board certified psychiatrist.

We all thought John Kerry was dead—and buried. But in Lazarus—like imitation he has been appearing everywhere—well at least until yesterday—— in full campaign mode. He even showed up last year at the NASCAR race in New Hampshire, of course sporting a fresh denim sportshirt and neatly pressed blue jeans, but largely ignored by racing fans who really wanted to get their picture taken with Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson.  

But rather than plunging into apoplexy only to be relieved by calling my personal anesthesiologist, I am slowly warming up to the inevitability of John Kerry as President. After all he has pledged to 'crush the terrorists with every means available', despite assailing the Patriot Act and calling for the war on terror to be downgraded to a law enforcement activity. And he said he'll only raise taxes on rich Republicans.

Maybe it would be worth paying higher taxes just for the entertainment value to watch Sen Kerry repair global alliances with the French and the Russians. His now patented ballet tour en l'aus rotations are certain to mesmerize Putin and the former Kremlin bosses, making them forget about the tens of billions in oil contracts and related bribes from Saddam, now worthless.

He can then lead Messrs Chirac et Villepin into one of the famed labyrinths at Versailles where only John Kerry could enact an heroic faux rescue calling on his Swiftboat tactics learned 35 years ago. After all, he is a Vietnam veteran; we don't want those four months of his magnificent leadership in a quagmire from another era to be wasted.

This would all be quite amusing, if it weren't deadly serious. When John Kerry is inaugurated, just shoot me.  On second thought, that's really too extreme. Just fly me to the moon.

Geoffrey P. Hunt   11 1 06