To all of those of liberal ilk,

The New York Times yields mother's milk

A mammary fount where socialist sheep

Can nurse their troubled minds to sleep

Safely snuggled in Big Momma's hands,

Dreaming of defeat in eastern lands;

Or impeaching Bush to save the nation,

Giving Gore and Kerry vindication.

Ah yes, this Oracle of West Forty—Third,

Is the one true source of the liberal word

Whose reporting is never to be confused

With honest, unbiased, factual news.

Libs loving their lactate simply won't buy it,

If Mom doesn't feed them a continual diet

Of slick scheming Schumer and Cindy the hater,

Or Benedict Murtha and Kerry the traitor.

The Times account of the Iraqi election

Was probably buried in the obituary section.

But on the front page (so strangely on time)

Was an avid account of a new Dubya crime.

Matters not to libs that there's nothing in it;

Was fodder for fools in our insensate Senate.

All those liberal lambs sucking at Mother's teat

Sent our Patriot Act down in pyrrhic defeat.

With the Democratic Party so thoroughly Deaned

Is it too much to hope that they'll ever be weaned?

[Inspired by Paul Kengor]

Russ Vaughn is the Poet Laureate of The American Thinker