Hey you unfashionables comfortably spread out between the coasts:  Is your dressed for comfort look a bit crumpled?  Not willing to spend $300 for an elegant haircut?  Worried this Friday casual every day look will prevent you from moving up the ladder?
 
Never fear, John Bolton is here.  
 
Bolton is President Bush's nominee United States ambassador to the United Nations currently undergoing hostile questioning from some Democratic senators for expressing freedom of speech by speaking the unfashionable truth —— lopping off several floors of the UN wouldn't affect it.  O—o—o—h!
 
He also exercises freedom of choice in the clothes he wears; the style/color of his hair and mustache.  This upsets  the undoubtedly perfectly coifed Robin Givhan, the Washington Post's fashionista. 
 
Remember her?  She's the self—anointed clothes critic who several months ago must have chipped her perfectly manicured nails pounding out a condemnation of Vice President Dick Cheney for the unpardonable sin of wearing a sensible parka at the freezing outdoor commemoration of the 60th anniversary of the liberation of the Auschwitz death camp.  Never mind his speech and actions were more sincere than his top hat clad European counterparts —— for her the clothes expressed the concept.
 
She then moved on to Condoleezza Rice, deciding that Rice's high heeled black boots and long black coat and dress proved U.S. foreign policy was now in dominatrix mode.
 
And now Bolton.  He "desperately needs a haircut" she decrees.  And more.
 
Bolton simply needs the basics. Tidy the curling, unruly locks at the nape of his neck, tame the volume at the crown, reel in the wings flapping above his ears, and broker a compromise between his sand—colored mop and his snow—colored mustache.
 
...Bolton sat before the committee with his tie askew. Not slightly crooked or just a hint off—center but looking like it had been knotted in the dark. The tie itself was an uninspired dark red with bright yellow stripes. It was looped tightly under the button—down collar of his pale—blue shirt —— a shirt that encircled his neck in a menacing way.
 
"Well, why does this matter?" you may ask as you flick off a piece of lettuce from your sleeve. 

Bolton might well argue that appearance has nothing to do with capabilities. But it certainly can be a measure of one's respect for the job.
 
Aha!  He has committed the ultimate unfashionable sin —— worse than wearing a plaid jacket with striped pants —— he is not awed by the U.N.  He actually thinks his obligation is to represent U.S. interests to this less than august body and not the other way around. 
 
Maybe he'll wear a Tommy Hilfiger shirt for his inaugural address in which he takes the U.N. to task for not doing more for the beleaguered inhabitants of Darfur.
 
And that makes the man and the country he represents, great. 
 
Ethel C. Fenig  4 15 05