November 16, 2024

When MAGA met RINO

In his rough style, limited vocabulary, vein-popping intensity, and overwhelming commitment to winning, Donald Trump reminds me of football coaches past. Winning football coaches, I might add. And you don’t win football games by being cal...

November 7, 2024

Unsolicited Advice for the Left

I’ve been told I’m a bigmouth, a crass know-it-all who enjoys kicking people while they’re down — people like all the imbeciles who voted a demented grifter into the White House in 2020 and then tried to replace the old fart w...

August 21, 2024

10 Lies Leftists Tell You

As Steely Dan might say, the things that pass for knowledge today, I can’t understand.  It’s all lies, falsehoods, and misdirection on tap, served fresh 24/7/365. Lie #1: Joe Biden was a great president, a dedicated public servant...

July 20, 2024

Who Can Donald Trump Count On?

Donald Trump may very well be the next president of the United States. But when the going inevitably gets tough, who can a future President Trump look to for support? The GOP? (pause here for laughter to subside.) The GOPES stood by as the rest...

June 30, 2024

Barack Obama and the Stupidity of the American Voter

Fundamentally transforming a country ain’t easy. Just ask Barry O., who’s been running the show for twelve consecutive years now, yet has still not fully succeeded in turning America into a third world s-hole. Obama’s made som...

June 20, 2024

The Case for Kamala

It’s sad, folks. No matter how much you may hate Democrats’ endless lies and moral turpitude, and what they’re doing to degrade our formerly great country, it’s sad what they’re doing to Joe Biden. He’s shot,...

May 27, 2024

They Did It to Trump, and They Can Do It to You

Let’s face it: most of us inhabit a dream world, a place where fairness, dignity, honor, and love for your fellow man reign.  Most of all, we wish for a safe world. We need to feel at least marginally safe to stay sane. But imag...

May 18, 2024

The Unbearable Lightness of Whiteness

It ain’t easy being white. I should know.  On the Caucasian paleness spectrum, I’m perilously close to albino.  I’ve seen cadavers with more color than moi.  In a snowy landscape, I’m practical...

May 15, 2024

The Ravings of a Kindly Old Man with a Poor Memory

Joe Biden, long before he was, ahem, installed as president, pilfered and retained highly classified information in three different locations, one a presumably dust-and-spider-infested garage. But Robert Hur, the kind of federal prosecutor we shou...

May 12, 2024

Brave Sir Biden

When brave Sir Biden rode south from Scranton toward the dark, fetid swamp of D.C., he was not afraid to die. No, based on his many, many tales of personal bravery, Joe was not at all afraid of being killed in nasty ways. Like being mashed to a...

May 6, 2024

Barack Obama, 21st-Century Schizoid Man

Although not a psychologist, I nevertheless convinced thousands of trusting souls to open their mouths (and wallets) for needles, drills, forceps, foul tastes, strange smells, not-good vibrations, and bills beyond imagination for more than forty year...

April 27, 2024

The Gutless Old Party

When I’m sometimes foolish enough to state a political view while out in public -- you can’t be held in jail without bail for talking about January 6, can you? -- the person I’m speaking with typically responds, “Oh, so you mu...

April 20, 2024

What Won’t the Swamp Do to Stop Trump?

Should Donald Trump get re-elected as president, karma’s gonna be one serious you-know-what! For nearly a decade, the D.C. swamp has used every tool in its arsenal to take down first candidate, then president, and then citizen Donald J. Trum...

April 7, 2024

Necessary Accommodations if Biden’s Re-Elected

At present, it seems unlikely that Americans will re-elect a frail, rapidly declining octogenarian to be our commander-in-chief.  Still, one should never underestimate the Democrat party’s uncanny ability to spread lies, cheat early a...

March 29, 2024

Some Men Just Want...

In the movie The Dark Knight, Bruce Wayne (the Batman) confides to his butler Alfred that he’s having trouble anticipating the psychotic Joker’s next move and figuring out his motives. Alfred blinks his owlish, bespectacled eyes, and t...

March 18, 2024

The public humiliation of Joe Biden

Anyone who’s ever known someone with senile dementia, can see that Joe Biden’s elevator no longer goes to the top floor. At age 81, with a history of multiple brain aneurysms and surgeries, poor Joe’s literally unravelling before...

March 15, 2024

You say floating dock, I say sitting duck

My expertise in life is rather limited. In fact, the only things I’m really well versed in are dental care, raising a family, and pouring a beer just so into a frozen mug resulting in a perfect, frothy one-inch head. That being said, you...

November 25, 2023

Wrongthink to Avoid

I was born in the greatest country in the world, perhaps in history, the United States of America. But now, seventy years later, the U.S. is no longer the land of the free or the home of the brave. Today, you are most definitely not free to sp...

October 31, 2022

Ten Reasons to Vote Democrat

Regular readers of American Thinker are well aware of all the reasons why anyone with a conscience and a modicum of intelligence should vote Republican on Election Day.  But at present, sadly, there appears to be a surfeit of potential U.S....

October 23, 2022

Democrats are just plain dangerous for kids

It's bad enough that Democrats would love to kill your unborn child at taxpayer expense and, if unsuccessful at that, simply amputate its penis and testicles or breasts at a later date and call it "gender-affirming care." But for kid...

October 17, 2022

No More Hiding: I'm Finally Coming Out

Recently, someone of low testosterone and, it would seem, low I.Q., opined after reading one of my political screeds that I was one "weird, sick, old duck!" And in a blinding instant, like when marauding FBI goons throw flashbangs into t...

October 9, 2022

Biden gets high on his own supply

In a bid to garner the all-important pothead vote for Democrats in November, Joe Biden has offered a mass pardon to those convicted of marijuana possession, which includes people who done time in prison for it. Forget whether such felo...

October 1, 2022

Thanks for nothing, John Durham

Raise your hands, anyone who thought special counsel John Durham's probe into the outrageous treatment of President Trump by the Obama FBI, DOJ, CIA, and State Department was ever going to amount to anything. Anyone? No one? Me neither. ...

September 26, 2022

How to Prepare for a Pre-Dawn Visit From the FBI

It’s clear the FBI has no interest in students threatening to shoot up schools (Nikolas Cruz), team doctors who assault underage gymnasts (Larry Nassar), or crackheads illegally possessing guns (Hunter Biden). No, if you’re a criminal,...

September 23, 2022

Where have all the white supremacists gone?

All I ever hear about these days, living as I do in the belly of the liberal beast, is the frightening scourge of white supremacism in America!  To which I invariably respond, "And who exactly are these white supremacists of which you ...

September 3, 2022

Translating Biden’s ‘Soul of a Nation’ Speech

Joe Biden, with his history of brain injuries (two!), rapidly advancing dementia, lifelong tendency to plagiarize, lie, and self-aggrandize, and his mouthful of marbles and no doubt costly white porcelain, can be quite difficult to understand. As ...

August 29, 2022

The Psychopathology of Liberalism

As the late, great Rush Limbaugh liked to say, "You can't spell LIBERALISM without L-I-E-S."  It's those lies that make your typical liberal so neurotic and out of touch with reality —because you can fool others with...

August 17, 2022

Comparing first ladies: Jill vs. Melania

If you watched, read, or listened to only the mendacious, Democrat bum–kissing mainstream media, Jill Biden — excuse me, Dr. Jill Biden! — would seem to be one of the most amazing women ever to have graced the White House. ...

August 10, 2022

Know your enemy

If you're reading this, you have powerful enemies. Start with our puppet president, Crusty Joe.  He's called Trump-supporters — those who would make America great again — the "most extreme political organization...

July 29, 2022

A Corrupt and Rigged Government

A recent University of Chicago Institute of Politics poll showed that a majority of Americans think our government is corrupt and rigged against them. And almost a third of respondents also feel it may eventually be necessary to take up arms against ...

July 23, 2022

Big Government Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry

The beauteous Ali McGraw, in the movie Love Story, tells us, "Love means never having to say you're sorry." As the latest variant of COVID-19 sweeps the land, that movie line is also the mantra of federal, state, and local health off...

July 13, 2022

The coming word-salad bar in the Oval Office

Much has been written of late of the various ways Democrats can preclude having V.P. Kamala Harris as their presidential nominee in '24. And I'm here to tell you, it ain't happening. Here's why. I've watched more than a f...

June 30, 2022

The Dobbs Decision in One Easy Lesson

Now, I know that libs are mighty upset about the recent Supreme Court decision overturning Roe v. Wade. Add to this the undeniable fact that liberals, led by the likes of Crusty Joe, Dumbo Harris, and America’s favorite bartender, Ms. Occasiona...

June 26, 2022

So long, Tony

I haven’t written or had anything published in a while, and my fans were worried. Both of them. Fact is, I’ve been busy saying goodbye to a beloved friend. To protect both the innocent and my patellae, let’s call him Tony. ...

May 12, 2022

How to say your piece and also not get arrested by Joe Biden's Disinformation Board

It's a truism that congenital liars suspect everyone else of lying.  The phenomenon's called "projection," and no one's better at it than your classic whiny Liberalanus Americanus. Now that Democrats and their ilk h...

April 27, 2022

Kammy gets COVID

The White House has announced that double-vaccinated, double-boosted, and double-dumb V.P. Kamala Harris has tested positive for COVID-19.  Although Science itself — in the form of that lovable garden gnome, Tony Fauci ...

April 13, 2022

A day in the life of Florida Man

The state of Florida is sitting pretty these days.  Having always been a popular vacation destination, the Sunshine State's now also a popular place to put down stakes and escape the craziness, especially the COVID craziness, of blue an...

April 10, 2022

Has the FBI ever before looked this pitiful?

It's one thing for the FBI, once considered the pre-eminent law enforcement agency in the world, to turn to the dark side and become the secret police of the Democrat party.  Again and again, the FBI has shown its partisan colors, overl...

March 28, 2022

Imagine if Both Your Parents Were Hard-Left Democrats

Let's face it: life is difficult for everyone.  You gotta take the sweet with the sour, and roll with the punches.  But who faces a more frightening future than the progeny of your typical loony liberal couple? Start with t...

March 26, 2022

What is a woman?

During her confirmation hearings for the Supreme Court, Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson told America she has no idea what a woman is, because, after all, KBJ's not a biologist. This from a nominee specifically chosen because — drum roll, ple...

March 17, 2022

End hair discrimination now!

In the midst of war in Europe, the COVID-19 pandemic, and crippling U.S. inflation, it's certainly a difficult time to be a member of Congress.  But just when you think our Congress-critters could not possibly be any more corrupt, indol...

March 13, 2022

Whom can I trust?

At a Tony Robbins seminar I attended many years ago, a lady in the audience told Tony she had trust issues, she couldn’t trust anyone. This, of course, kept her from ever feeling content or happy. Mr. Robbins responded that the woman was fully ...

March 1, 2022

Dinner with Libs

Last night, the wife and I attended a dinner party with two other couples. The hosts, old friends endowed with equally large amounts of generosity and common sense, laid out a feast of food and drink, and played Switzerland for the night. They discus...

February 16, 2022

Lawn signs for conservatives

Liberals think they're better than other people — so much so that they plant lawn signs in their front yards to illustrate that fact. The sentiments on these signs range from outright lies, HATE HAS NO HOME HERE (say the Trump-haters), t...

February 11, 2022

The 'so long, Uyghurs, and thanks for all the slave labor' Olympics

It's been a tough couple of years for Americans, what with COVID-19, rising crime, record inflation, and a marble-mouthed grifter with dementia wandering about the White House.  There certainly hasn't been much to be happy about. ...

February 9, 2022

What do you have to do to get fired from Joe Biden's Cabinet?

Outside Cirque de Soleil, there's no bigger collection of clowns than the members of Joe Biden's Cabinet.  It's one thing to have a mental defective for president, quite another to have a bunch of left-wing ideologues with littl...

February 8, 2022

Oh, the words that come to mind from the 'mean construction Obama' photo

It's true: a picture is worth a thousand words.  When I saw the photo of former President Obama, standing, arms folded, at the construction site of his seaside Hawaiian mansion, quite a few words came to my mind. Sadly, some of them ...

February 6, 2022

Look with dawning horror at the presidential line of succession

In Major League Baseball, starting pitchers get plenty of press, all the glory, and the really big bucks.  But true aficionados of the sport know that a team is only as good as its bullpen, a collection of lesser-known pitchers who are call...

February 4, 2022

Brave Biden kills terrorist, women and children hardest hit

Joe Biden may be an accomplished grifter, habitual liar, and at least three cans shy of a six-pack mentally, but what a brave commander-in-chief he is! Take last August, when, thanks to White House incompetence, thirteen U.S. servicemen and scores...

January 26, 2022

You might be a liberal if...

Liberalism is a dangerous mental disorder, and early treatment is essential to regaining sanity. Always looking to be of help, I've compiled a checklist of liberal beliefs so that concerned readers may gauge whether or not they're a buddin...

January 23, 2022

Hiding private Biden

Even before his long slide into dementia, Joe Biden was a babbling, bumbling, hair-sniffing fool whom no one really respected.  The main thing you can say about his stint as Obama's V.P. is that he reduced Barry's chances of being i...

January 2, 2022

The Gift of the Fauci

I headed into the Christmas season in a foul mood as our country’s trajectory appears to be emulating the fall of the Roman Empire. Hopelessly corrupt politicians, weak generals, barbarians swarming the borders, and a pervasive sense of moral d...

December 1, 2021

Coming this Christmas, the Juicy Smollett action figure!

Yes, kids, the weather outside is frightful — the temperature in Chicago is in the single digits — but we've got a new toy that's so delightful: the Juicy Smollett, Hate Hoaxer action figure! The absolute latest in ou...

November 28, 2021

LeBron James for president!

Democrats are "literally shaking" at the thought of losing the White House in 2024.  I mean, blatant, willful, and widespread election fraud can take you only so far. At present, Joe Biden is pulling a Wicked Witch of the West ...

November 24, 2021

Our partisan FBI failed again, costing taxpayers $130 million (and 17 innocent people their lives)

The Federal Bureau of Investigation, once comprising the best and brightest in law enforcement, has for some time now been more concerned with pushing the Democrat agenda than stopping criminals and terrorists. The list of recent FBI failures is w...

November 20, 2021

The Democrats' cognitive dissonance

Why do so many Democrats look, sound, and act insane? Because they suffer terribly from "cognitive dissonance." To be a card-carrying child of the left, one must hold a variety of conflicting ideas as true, regardless of whether they con...

November 17, 2021

Coming soon to a city near you: the Democrat Purge

In the horror movie The Purge, the U.S. government annually gives its citizens a 12-hour period in which to commit any and all crimes with no consequences. The only thing the filmmakers missed in predicting today's Democrat Party stance on r...

November 15, 2021

Our racist president

Sure, President Biden is frail, stooped, and increasingly senile.  And yes, the "Big Guy" is thoroughly corrupt, lies like a rug, and constantly makes stuff up to appear heroic.  But did you know he's also a dyed-in-...

November 5, 2021

Pentagon investigates self, finds no crime

Fresh off their recent success in fleeing Afghanistan with their tails between their legs, leaving hundreds of Americans and billions of dollars in arms and munitions behind, the Pentagon was in a celebratory mood and decided to drone some ISIS-K ter...

November 2, 2021

Biden's accident

The twitterverse is all abuzz over a #1 trending hashtag, #PoopypantsBiden, so at the risk of soiling my very soul, I perused Twitter's website to see why. The story starts with our president meeting the pope at the Vatican, presumably to...

November 1, 2021

The 'science' of COVID

Despite former President Obama’s persistent bleating, there is no such thing as “settled science.” The Earth was flat, the Sun circled our planet, and lightning was thought to be a message from Zeus until proven otherwise. The fa...

October 31, 2020

How to survive the riots if President Trump is re-elected

Many, including me, are willing to bet the house that Donald Trump will be re-elected, either on November 3 as the clock nears midnight or several days or weeks afterward, when the Supreme Court finally stops the Democrats from "finding" an...

October 24, 2020

How corrupt is FBI director Wray? Let me count the ways

If Americans disgusted at the shameless, partisan shenanigans of former FBI head James Comey thought Christopher Wray was going to come in and clean house at the now disgraced agency, they've got another think coming. To be fair, incoming Dire...

October 22, 2020

Rush Limbaugh, losing his fight with lung cancer, vows to keep fighting the left

Rush Limbaugh recently told his large and loving radio audience that he is losing his battle with lung cancer and that his days are numbered. Upon hearing that Limbaugh had been diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer this past February, I feared that...

October 18, 2020

The epic struggles of Hunter Biden

Poor Hunter Biden. Think how hard his life must be. Like his father, Hunter’s lights are on, but no one’s home. His junkie mind is not his own. He has the sweats, his body shakes. Another hit on the pipe is all it takes. Might...

October 14, 2020

Vote Trump or go back to the Democrat Matrix

Well into President Obama's first term, I still bought into the general belief that politics was a noble profession, and our leaders wanted nothing but the best for all Americans.  Sure, Republican and Democrat politicians fought hard f...

October 11, 2020

A note on abortion: Thanks, Mom

I was born a scrawny, pale, yet unconventionally handsome bastard, the product of an illicit but no doubt passionate tryst in some rented pad in south Chicago. The only thing I know for sure about my biological parents is that they were promiscuou...

October 9, 2020

The number-one reason why Bill de Blasio is persecuting Jews

Why would NYC's Mayor de Blasio come down hard on Orthodox and Hasidic Jews for breaking Big Brother's constantly changing rules regarding COVID-19 prevention yet look the other way when thousands of Black Lives Matter protesters rec...

October 5, 2020

Why Big Names Are Getting COVID-19

It's a common belief that our well heeled betters live in a different world than we do. If they wish to, people of power and means can enjoy the very best nutrition, housing, and health care available.  When it comes to buying person...

October 3, 2020

In the wake of Trump's COVID diagnosis, 'you don't know what you got 'til it's gone'

It's a dog-eat-dog world, folks.  And possibly no man alive has had to deal with as many vicious ankle-biters as our president, Donald Trump. But whether he likes it or not, his COVID-19 diagnosis is going to take him out of the wild...

October 1, 2020

The Deep State Wins if Trump Loses

In his 2017 inauguration speech, President Trump shocked the world by promising to take on the Washington, D.C. establishment -- aka “The Swamp” -- and thereby return power to the people. The Swamp denizens seated in the main dais behi...

September 27, 2020

Virginia's Gov. Ralph 'Blackface' 'Coonman' Northam catches COVID

Bad news for Virginia Democrats: Gov. Ralph "Coonman" Northam and his wife Pam have tested positive for COVID-19. For those unaware, "Coonman" was the sobriquet listed in Gov. Northam's medical school yearbook.  N...

September 20, 2020

Replacing the Notorious RBG with the Heavenly ACB

Just when you thought 2020 couldn't get any crazier, Supreme Court justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg suddenly departs this world for, hopefully, a better one. You have to respect that anyone strong, smart, and principled enough to serve on the Supre...

September 10, 2020

When it Comes to Biden, Dems Say Don't Believe Your Lying Eyes. Or Ears. Or Brain.

Democrats and their mainstream media consorts would have you watch Joe Biden talking to the press, on those rare occasions when he leaves his basement and favorite chair, and somehow think you're watching a fully functioning human being, ready an...

August 17, 2020

No Such Thing as a Totally Safe School

To regain any sense of normalcy during the time of Coronavirus, we’ll need our kids back in school. They need to be back there, and their parents really need their kids to be back there. Like yesterday. However, the teachers unions and their...

August 13, 2020

Kamala Harris and the Dems' identity politics bingo

Democrats look to woo voters based on their candidates' ethnicity, skin color, and genitalia.  No care seems to be given as to whether political candidates are likely to be any good at representing their constituents, no, the only quest...

August 7, 2020

Biden's really losing it

I'm old, and I'm losing it.  That's what happens when you're tickling 67. But Joe Biden — man, he's really losing it.  And he's tickling 78. I go into a room, forget why I went there, and then h...

July 26, 2020

Dr. Fauci's curveball

Few have been more central to America’s COVID-19 response than Dr. Anthony Fauci. Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, the diminutive doctor has been the face and voice of public health efforts to fight the ...

July 11, 2020

A tale of two investigations

America is at present deeply divided, a situation that’s simply unsustainable long term. To understand this, one need look no further than our justice system and two ongoing investigations that illustrate the wide divide between Right and ...

July 4, 2020

Ghislaine Maxwell's pending suicide

When Jeffrey Epstein, the renowned financial maven and friend to the rich and powerful, was arrested for underage sex-trafficking, I knew that his days on the planet were numbered.  Epstein simply knew too much to live. What undoubtedly ...

July 2, 2020

Joe Biden's accomplishments

Critics ask: What has Joe Biden ever accomplished other than enriching his own family via various governmental grifts and leaving Barack Obama with chapped butt cheeks from Joe's constant smooching? Plenty, folks, no joke. For one, Joe Bide...

June 29, 2020

Bizarro World, coming to a neighborhood near you!

For those of us old enough to remember a time when men were men and women were women, a major source of entertainment for children back then was comic books.  And who was the most famous comic book character of all?  Why, that...

June 29, 2020

COVID-19 Protection Advice from a Doctor, albeit a Dentist

Throughout my working life, I've had friends introduce me to strangers as "Dr. Pete."  The new acquaintance invariably comments, "Oh, so you're a physician?"  And then I reply, "No, I'm just a ...

June 29, 2020

Only 128 days before you have to rebuild

Recently, we've all enjoyed scenes of "peaceful demonstrators" burning and looting businesses all across the fruited plains of America.  Young, ill educated punks throwing bricks or Molotov cocktails through store windows all ...

June 25, 2020

Bubba Wallace, snowflake of color

NASCAR driver Bubba Wallace apparently contains multitudes.  Part of him is obviously a fierce competitor, a man brave enough to risk his life by racing at speeds approaching 200 mph.  You have to be able and willing to trade pain...