Articles & Blog Posts by Newsmachete
- Trump asks Jeb to 'press one' for English
- Will Jeb Bush sign a loyalty pledge to actively support the GOP nominee?
- Scientists undercount trees by 2.6 trillion, but assure us animals going extinct
- Nikki Haley aligns herself with Lindsey Graham wing of S.C. GOP
- Teenage girls stage walk-out to avoid sharing locker room with poorly disguised boy
- Farmers fear Trump because without illegals, who will pick the lettuce?
- Ben Carson has troubling interpretations of the Constitution and free markets
- Does 'Make America Great Again' imply that Americans stink?
- Does the name 'Native American' insult the rest of us?
- Bush and Trump accuse each other of perverted acts of love
- Walker, considering Canada border fence Sunday, now against it
- What happens when Ted Cruz and Carly Fiorina are compared head to head?
- Hillary's growth plan displays stunning ignorance of economic reality
- Why is Scott Walker's campaign floundering?
- Can you guess what New York City smells like?
- Judge removes testicles, calls self 'Ma'am,' and rules over normal people
- Obama deeply worried about global warming in...Alaska
- Bush, losing fundraisers, is only one staff replacement from success
- Chris Christie wants to track immigrants like Fed Ex Packages
- Hispanic group cancels contract with Donald Trump
- What do you think when Miley Cyrus declares herself 'pansexual'?
- Jeb Bush bastardizes conservatism to justify his agenda
- Is it wrong for women to be nude salad platters?
- Bush's pandering to illegals gets him 14% more of the Hispanic vote
- The one problem with the Cruz/Trump rally against the Iran dea
- Would you go to a doctor who benefited from affirmative action?
- Study finds women turn to lesbians due to lack of boyfriends
- 'Dreamers' convinced Trump to support amnesty...in 2014
- #BlackIncitementMatters
- Bush, having trouble raising money, cuts salaries for staffers
- Jorge Ramos deported from Trump news conference for undocumented question
- What does Trump mean when he says 'invite the good ones back'?
- LGBT community angry about Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner Halloween costume
- Has Jeb Bush parodied himself to the point of irrelevance?
- Reince Priebus embraces Trump with the enthusiasm of an ISIS hostage
- Who is more damaged goods: Hillary or Lunchbox Joe?
- GOP first strike on Trump is about immigration, not third-party bids
- Bush launches airstrike on Trump, misses target
- Who is tougher on border security, Donald Trump or Ted Cruz?
- Why polls alone don't show the true leaders of the GOP race
- Has Scott Walker destroyed himself with three positions on birthright in one week?
- Rand Paul unlikely to be nominated, according to Rand Paul
- Liberal scientists say global warming, not illegals, worsening California drought
- Irony alert: Liberals furious over Bruce Jenner Halloween costumes
- Can you guess what Yale is not doing with its $24-billion endowment?
- Bravo puts a disguised man on Real Housewives
- Ted Cruz shows presidential qualities while grilling pork and lesbian activist
- GOP insiders say Trump needs to stop talking about illegal aliens
- Scott Walker recants opposition to birthright citizenship
- Does Hillary need to be elected president to stay out of jail?
- How GOP candidates compare to Trump on illegal immigration
- If 'anchor babies' is too incendiary, how about 'anchor fetuses'?
- Liberal media having trouble finding 'Hispanics' to hate Trump
- Alabama sorority in big trouble for posting video with too many white faces
- Come laugh with us as we read Bush's 'Why Jeb?' flier!
- Surgeons in trouble for telling sexist jokes around unconscious patients
- Illegal alien children deeply offended by Donald Trump
- You will never guess what liberals think of illegal aliens!
- Bush supports birthright citizenship but calls for greater enforcement of...something
- The irony of liberals worrying about laws raising costs of abortion
- Congress can end birthright citizenship simply by passing a law
- Donald Trump has made it OK to call illegal aliens 'illegal aliens' again
- Scott Walker 'hates poor people' because he wants to dismantle Obamacare
- Kasich says he'll be a spending hawk like never before
- Liberals want to reintroduce higher business taxes for whites
- White House appoints man dressed as woman as personnel recruiter
- Liberals worry too many white people in ballet audiences
- Donald Trump calls out hypocrisy of Silicon Valley on immigration and 'diversity'
- Trump: Word games on immigration
- Trump shows dangerous naivete on Iran deal
- What if it had been Israel?
- Donald Trump supports legal residency for 'good' illegal aliens
- Do you know anyone who votes for a candidate because of lawn signs?
- A review of the inconsistencies of the major GOP candidates
- Scott Walker praises stadium funding that benefits $150,000 donor
- Do hippies have the 'right' to live in Venice Beach?
- Google Maps has layers for traffic, terrain, bicycling, and now airstrikes
- Scott Walker still evasive on border security and immigration
- Should the 'Black Lives Matter' vandal be lauded or chided?
- If a corporate CFO acted like Obama, he'd be in jail
- Two people murdered in Swedish IKEA due to weak knife control laws
- Why Scott Walker has dropped to third in Iowa
- Why Trump's flip-flop on Planned Parenthood is so important
- Trump, harshest on illegal aliens, leads with Hispanics in Nevada
- Phony Obamacare lawsuit makes House GOP look tough on Obama
- Why is Mike Lee against mandatory sentences for repeat illegal alien offenders?
- Liberals don't know why 'you're fat!' report cards don't work
- Europeans and Chinese: women are terrible drivers who need bigger parking spaces
- Dem Congressman calls for merger with Mexico?
- Should oil companies regulate pollution-producing activities of the EPA?
- Taxpayer money being used to teach 'transgendered' men to talk like girls
- Carly: a flawed candidate
- Would a real man major in 'men's studies'?
- Will Bernie Sanders's new black face keep #Blacklivesmatter thugs away?
- Do Trump supporters care what part of Megyn Kelly's body he was thinking of?
- Priceless Liberal reactions to allegedly violent black burglar shot by police
- Will the University of California create six sets of bathrooms for six genders?
- American feminists and ISIS sex slaves: The silence of the shams
- Street Lamps falling as San Francisco streets flooded with urine
- Would you pay $4,000 a month to share a living room with hippies in NYC?
- Eugene, Oregon police department forced to consider illegal aliens for officers
- Has Mitch McConnell violated his oath of office?
- Should property owners be able to grow a jungle on their front lawns?
- Gun stores being sued by parents for deaths of minority kids
- If Jeb Bush is not nominated, will he pledge to support the GOP candidate?
- SEC commissars have new way of stoking resentment among the worker class
- Illegals forced to wear ankle bracelets feel like criminals
- Why do liberals glorify musicians who take audiences hostage on buses?
- Liberals worried about white heterosexual men in films
- Which is harder: getting voter ID or doing your taxes?
- Obama offers false choice on Iran nuclear deal
- Feminist techies use 'am I hot or not' strategy to shame Silicon Valley
- Elizabeth Warren's analysis of the GOP conservatives can agree with
- Who would clean our toilets if liberals left?
- The smart way to hold the Republican debates
- Now that 'marriage' has no meaning, can Woody Allen rehabilitate himself?
- The real reason Lindsey Graham was a colonel in the Air Force Reserve
- Liberals at the <em>New York Times</em> say probation is too much punishment for drunk driving
- The GOP figures it all out
- Marxism in action
- Street corner blues
- Hillary finally gives voters a reason to support her: her deceased mother
- Which is worse, Obama's plan to shut down coal plants, or McConnell's 'plan' to fight it?
- What's wrong with this headline: <em>Black</em> caucus brings <em>diversity</em> push to Silicon Valley
- The federal judge putting Hillary under oath is asking the wrong questions
- If homosexuality is not a choice, how did a GOP candidate abandon it?
- Do you feel the pain of companies cut off from Export-Import Bank subsidies?
- A psychoanalysis of the APA's decision to surrender the War on Terror
- The unfortunate symbolism of environmental fanatics
- Hillary attacks Bush; Bush smiles and thanks her
- I am royalty born in a commoner's body, and society is discriminating against me
- Tell us how you plan to celebrate Dem-declared 'judicial emergency'!
- Why Romney and Bush want Cruz to mumble like they do
- Bush believes in man-made global warming and wants plenty more of it
- A gentle reminder why Rick Perry is totally unsuited to be the GOP nominee
- GOP, appalled by sale of baby parts, working on phony bill to defund Planned Parenthood
- When did prostitutes become 'sex workers'?
- The real reason why Obama is pushing a bad deal with Iran
- Should schools teach anti-bullying towards businessmen, gun owners, and the unborn?
- 16-year-old girl forced to use girl's bathroom
- The very real consequences of the effort to remove John Boehner
- Guess what's missing from the $4-billion redesign of La Guardia Airport
- Incredible: Democrat mayor rejects Olympics because of costs to taxpayer
- Mexico cracking down on illegal aliens from America
- NYT apologizes for saying Hillary was under investigation
- Whose fault is it if blacks can't get cabs?
- 'Anti-bullying classes' a cover for gay advocacy
- Liberals worry that workers with specialized skills make more money
- Hillary sways Democrats with her impressive ignorance on global warming
- GOP senators gleefully resurrect Export-Import Bank
- Mike Lee about to expose Mitch McConnell's true loyalties to Obamacare
- Pentagon asks civilians to stop defending its unarmed soldiers
- Teacher who was love slave to teenage boys claims 'she had no choice'
- Cruz to McConnell: 'You lie!'
- Chamber of Commerce looking to unseat conservative Republicans
- Rick Santorum talks about meeting people who gave up homosexuality
- Religion of mass transit lets down its adherents yet again
- Ted Cruz: Kirk is a conservative, Picard is a liberal
- GOP working hard on phony bill to defund sanctuary cities
- Civil society torpedoed: Restaurants can't refuse service
- Liberals: Mankind has evolved to the point where jails no longer needed
- A concrete guide to Mark Levin's "Just Say No" Plan
- Hillary planning 'Wizard of Oz' presidency with anonymous chat press conferences
- Hackers crack dating site for married people, adulterers frantic
- Should journalists feel violated when an owner removes an article?
- If being gay is not a choice, why so much proselytizing?
- Liberal reasons why a border fence is unbuildable
- Let's expose #Blacklivesmatter with #Blackliesmatter
- Death penalty desperation in Nebraska
- John McCain: wartime hero, peacetime coward
- Nutty radical egalitarians believe companies work better without managers
- GOP 'reaching across the aisle' to free drug dealers from prison
- How can we make it politically OK to talk about limiting Muslim immigration?
- Jeb Bush's waffling on transvestite soldiers and Iran tells us about his character
- Dangerously deluded Obama believes he is carrying out God's will
- The unbelievable reasons why the Pentagon wants soldiers disarmed on bases
- Should House Republicans have to pay 'union dues' to the GOP?
- Jeb attacks Trump
- Are drug companies using bogus studies to push statins?
- Scott Walker walks back his statement on gay Boy Scout Leaders
- Move over, Google Maps! Introducing the NYC public urination map!
- You'll never guess where self-deportation of illegals actually works
- Iranian death cult nukes ICBMs = mass genocide
- Forget Obama...Republicans made the Iran nukes deal possible
- Democrats and illegals really messing up income inequality
- Guess how many minorities work in liberal environmental groups
- What will happen to our military when it's led by soldiers with gender dysphoria?
- Guilty liberal feels illegal alien entitled to his job
- Liberals blame slack black national park attendance on white racism
- Hillary's economic plan to be unveiled today
- Would a sane person drink from a public water fountain?
- New York wants to bring public urination out of the shadows
- Which Democrat does Atticus Finch remind you of?
- The most amazing truth about California's water crisis
- Has Ellen Pao castrated the feminist movement?
- Nutty small-town leftists fight stores with lower prices
- Scientists warning of global cooling once again!
- You will never guess how many vetoes Obama has issued in 6.5 years
- Trump in 2012 attacked Romney for being too tough on illegals
- Should GOP chairman Reince Priebus be deported?
- Should employers be forced to hire transvestites?
- Jeb Bush says you can love a Mexican and control the border
- How to call out the press for their blatant racism
- Mentally castrated man gives his kid emasculated last name
- In New York, men can be arrested for rape if women don't say 'I want sex!'
- If you have $500,000,000, you can buy 60 moderate Syrian rebels!
- Creeping authoritarianism: Man arrested for having pet deer
- Do you think Hillary or Bernie Sanders lives anywhere near illegal aliens?
- Who is better-positioned to appeal to the youth vote: Hillary or Bernie?
- Illegal alien shooter blames sea lions, self-aware gun for S.F. killing
- Don't hold your breath waiting for Macy's and NBC to cut ties with S.F. over sanctuary city murderer
- How many examples of Bernie Sanders hypocrisy can you find in 4 sentences?
- Why Greeks are spittin' mad spending other people's money
- The fake and real reasons Obamacare premiums are increasing 40% or more
- Girl Scouts turn down $100,000 gift for excluding 'boy-girls'
- The hottest NYC trend: luxury condos next to housing projects!
- Hillary reassures weepy gay boy of great life as a homosexual
- How U.S. society fundamentally transforms when illegals randomly execute citizens
- Why can't we talk about the black role in flash mobs?
- NY Times worried Scott Walker's rightward shift will hurt election prospects
- You'll never guess what worries leftists about relations with Cuba
- Mark Levin: The name 'Democratic Party' should be banned for racism
- At least one chuch that will never have a massacre
- Hillary Clinton treats volunteers like trafficked sex slaves
- <em>Dukes of Hazzard</em> racist in 2015; A-OK 1979-2014
- Are men hardwired to enjoy violence?
- Witch doctors 'casting spells' that turn African girls into sex slaves
- Hillary reassures voters she's far from finished inciting hatred and fear
- Rand Paul solicits donations from drug dealers
- Does NBC stand for 'Nicaragua, Bolivia & Cocaine'?
- Liberal justices: death penalty constitutional only for first two hundred years
- Court to decide if discrimination against whites is still a good thing
- Supremes: citizenship not necessary for voter registration
- LePage, the last Republican
- John Boehner joins Obama's mile high club
- CNN mistakes sex toy flag for ISIS flag at gay parade
- Google encouraging users to create homosexual zombies to support gay sex
- Pentagon starving combat troops out of respect of Ramadan
- Ted Cruz's innovative ideas for fighting the gay marriage diktat
- Why gay marriage is superior to normal marriage
- America is becoming more and more like Lesbos
- Walker, Rubio, Cruz, Bush: Which one does not support Obamatrade?
- Could expanded background checks have prevented the massacre in Harry Reid's house?
- Study: Health benefits of medical marijuana found to be wildly oversold
- Global warming causing hot dogs to slip out of buns
- Earth entering new and exciting extinction phase
- Recycling as therapy
- It's time to ban a certain hate-filled flag
- The funniest guide to politically correct behavior ever!
- A question for Nancy Pelosi: who is a better kisser, Obama or Boehner?
- Court: doctors can give abortions via Skype
- Do minorities disproportionately fail the death penalty IQ test because of test bias?
- It's time for the tails of quarters to feature a woman!
- We need to work harder to keep state and national parks closed
- Woman refuses to have children for fear they will be white
- Tests for teachers found to have too many white questions
- House Republicans working hard to make heroin and cocaine safer
- Michelle Obama 'sees herself' in hijab-wearing girls
- Donald Trump has a solid history of conservatism going back many weeks
- Jeb Bush argues persuasively why he shouldn't be nominated
- Illegal detainment camps in America
- Is Barack Obama secretly a white person like Rachel Dolezal?
- The real Hillary
- American University presents artwork made of homosexual blood
- Hillary Clinton: 'I've been called many things....'
- How to become black in three easy steps
- Los Angeles ranked #1 place to live by homeless people
- The liberal politics of the new CEO of Fox
- Paul Ryan politically transgenders into Nancy Pelosi
- New versions of fairy tales being used to teach toddlers about homosexuality
- Intel pledges $125 million in effort to further discriminate against white men
- Mother sues France for 'letting' her kid join ISIS
- What if Obamacare regulations were applied to abortion?
- Young kids' books teaching children to consider 'switching' genders
- People in Blue States seek psychiatric help 50% more often than in Red States.
- New York Times Upset SEAL Team 6 Used Too Often To Kill Terrorists
- Marco Rubio gets speeding ticket for Obamatrade fast track vote
- Filmmaker apologizes for casting white in minority role
- Columbia U. Mattress Girl expresses rape outrage by making softcore porn
- Mind control device available for only $299
- Huff Po: It's cheaper to give homeless people homes than not to give them homes
- Barnard will admit men who think they are women but not women who think they are men
- The most unbelievable poll ever to appear in the New York Times
- Doctor Ruth: You can't say 'no' after you get naked with a man
- Why Hillary Clinton is the Night's King from 'Game of Thrones'
- Immigrants do jobs Americans won't do. Except at Disney.
- Schools solve problem of minority violence by teaching about White racism
- What kinds of deductibles should Transabled self-mutilators have under Obamacare?
- What is more dangerous, students with guns or students who vote?
- Let's celebrate the great successes of the TSA!
- OSHA safety agency says women's bathrooms safer with creepy men in them
- Is Bernie Sanders trying to get to the left of the Clintons on rape?
- EPA fighting global warming by reducing food supply
- Why do Mitch McConnell and John Boehner act like they have a Denny Hastert problem?
- Obamacare and amnesty would be dead if Republicans fought like this governor
- Can you guess when it's okay for whites to use the n-word?
- Elizabeth Warren unhappy the government doesn't borrow and spend money
- Hillary Clinton speaking in black accent again
- The real reason the EPA wants to regulate puddles and ditches
- Why do gays need a homosexual rodeo?
- Will amnesty survive the full 5th Circuit Court of Appeals or the Supreme Court?
- The latest amenity in luxury NYC housing: panic rooms
- Why the French ban on veils is essential
- Can you name the biggest racist employer in America?
- How many black and Jewish presidents have we had?
- Millionaire dot-com adulteress says women too weak to negotiate salaries
- New York Times: Whites moving into Hispanic areas is not diversity
- US suffering from massive equality of rich and poor
- US Institute of Peace creates world peace for only $110,000 a day!
- Washington Post on 'best states' for women in America
- New York Times: Eating food aggravates drought
- What do you think Chelsea Clinton's book will look like?
- Government strips us of privacy while demanding its own
- 20 important questions Hillary wasn't asked
- Who should be excluded from the Republican debates?
- Would you ride in a Google driverless car?
- NY Times: Black people need black doctors
- Let Syrian 'refugees' revitalize Detroit? What could go wrong?
- Whom would you pick to moderate the Republican debates?
- Hillary Clinton adopts male sex logo as her own
- What's missing from Hillary Clinton's website?
- Blue and yellow striped painting sells for 46 million
- Berkeley Residents Forced to Drink Foul Water to Save Fish
- HuffPo celebrates 10 years of perverse and trite journalism
- The friends of Marco Rubio
- Levin: Rand Paul covering up Obamacare fraud
- Who will replace Marco Rubio in the Senate?
- America is already the <em>Brave New World</em>
- White House strengthening fence to keep out undocumented visitors
- Rubio, Paul, Cruz vote to allow Obama to lift Iran sanctions
- Is Mike Huckabee a free-market conservative?
- Smith College admitting men pretending to be women
- Mike Huckabee too liberal to run on his record
- Why events like the Mohammad Cartoon Contest are important
- Chris Christie delighted senior aide indicted for conspiracy
- Understanding Baltimore's problems in two revealing maps
- Should Hillary Clinton wear a body camera?
- Jeb Bush's newest idea: Statehood for Puerto Rico!
- Harvard Business School attracts women by 'peeking'
- Kazakh leader apologizes for 98% victory at the polls
- State Department picks envoy to promote homosexuality
- Limbaugh: Rubio can't help supporting amnesty because he's Hispanic
- Is the School Lunch Program really necessary?
- Cruz submits constitutional amendment to protect marriage
- Let's abolish the Highway Trust Fund
- Cruz: By Confirming Lynch, Republicans violating Constitution
- Pro-Amnesty Billionaires start to pick their candidates
- Lapchick says Super Bowl ads show bias against women, minorities
- Let's stop paying for space pork
- Great news! Law school applications down 50%!
- CA ballot initiative would keep boys out of girls' bathrooms
- Marco Rubio says DREAMer amnesty must continue before border secured
- Welcome to rent control! 88,000 apply for 55 apartments
- Cruz supports armed soldiers on U.S. military bases
- NY Times puzzled over 'disappearance' of 1.5 million black men
- The EU antitrust lawsuit against Google is ridiculous
- How to legally bribe Andrew Cuomo
- Should President Obama be listed as a state sponsor of terrorism?
- But do female chimpanzees earn only 71% as much as their male counterparts?
- What does Hillary's Logo remind you of?
- Foodstamps for able bodied childless adults down 80% in Maine following 6 hr/week work requirement
- Unflattering photos of Hillary reveal Liberal media plans
- The chickification of film continues: <em>Logan's Run</em> to become Lilly's Run
- Liberal media struggles to find name for dismemberment abortions
- 'Former' man dissatisfied in men's prison
- Further proof supporting amnesty won't help Republicans
- Jeb Bush got it right on affirmative action
- Kansas attacked for stunning success in reducing welfare dependency
- Ted Cruz surges to second place in polls
- Rand Paul 'out of pocket'; won't comment on Iran deal or RFRA
- How Mike Pence's surrender will affect people of conscience in Indiana
- Kansas becomes safer with concealed carry law
- Gay man chosen as Boy Scout Leader
- Scott Walker using taxpayer money for billionaires' stadium
- Heterophobia running wild over Indiana religious freedom bill
- Rick Perry created university specifically for illegal aliens
- Is 'squaw' an offensive word?
- Mike Pence wimps out on Religious Freedom Act
- What would an Ayatollah Khamenei White House look like?
- Could Mr. Sulu marry Mr. Chekov in Indiana?
- The greed of super wealthy liberal colleges is astounding
- Is Scott Walker done?
- Supporters deserting Rand Paul for Ted Cruz
- Could Lindsey Graham beat Hillary Clinton in the Democratic primary?
- NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio bans juice and sitting in daycare
- Jeb Bush disagrees with his foreign policy advisor's views on foreign policy
- An Obama EPA rule conservatives can support
- Bobby Jindal pledged no new taxes, raised taxes, then denied doing it
