As Steely Dan might say, the things that pass for knowledge today, I can’t understand.  It’s all lies, falsehoods, and misdirection on tap, served fresh 24/7/365.

Lie #1: Joe Biden was a great president, a dedicated public servant who put country first and stepped aside so that Kamala Harris’s brilliance could save our democracy.

Well, that’s five lies all tied up in one bundle!  Joe Biden is easily the worst president in my lifetime, possibly ever.  He and his family got rich, not by serving anyone, but by grifting on his various political offices.  Slow Joe also didn’t step aside; he was kicked to the curb by his Democrat comrades after it became clear he was going to lose in November. And so now we have Kamala Harris, who was chosen as V.P. simply because she possesses ovaries and dark pigmentation.  And for the one millionth time, America is a republic — if we can keep it — not a democracy.

Lie #2: Man-made climate change will make the Earth unlivable for humans in (pick one) 5, 10, 39, or 5,000 years.

Ha, ha!  If you think our Creator would allow us, His/Her/Zey’s most ambitious, creative, and intelligent organism, to destroy our beautiful terrarium, then you’re either a fool or an atheist, possibly both.  Our most brilliant minds can’t predict tomorrow’s weather with precision, our weather records extend a mere blip into the nearly five billion years of the planet’s estimated existence, and the only reason the scam’s called “climate change” is because leftists gave up on “global warming” when the Earth inconsiderately stopped warming.

Lie #3: Democrats love black people.

Where to start with this one?  The president who ended slavery in America was a Republican.  It was the Democrat party who championed Jim Crow laws.  It’s Democrats who’ve historically come up with all kinds of handouts and special programs for blacks, not because they love them, but because they think African-Americans simply can’t cut it on a level playing field.  Folks, that’s racism of the highest order.

And Democrats just love killing unborn babies, a statistically telling percentage of whom are black.

Lie #4: Diversity is our strength.

Nope, sorry, uniformity is our strength.  A team that’s chosen based on merit alone, and who plays according to one set of values and with a single goal in mind, always wins.  But don’t take my word for it; ask any recent champions of the almost three-quarters African-American NBA.  If diversity is strength, then the NBA is arguably one of the weakest b-ball leagues on the planet.

Lie #4: Gender is fungible.

People who think that taking hormones and having your penis or breasts amputated changes your sex are truly the saddest products of our failed education system.  They no doubt also imagine that having webbed feet makes you a duck, or sharpening your canines makes you a vampire.  It’s fun to pretend, like I do having a catch while wearing my Yankees jersey, sadly, that does not make me a Yankee.  Ninety-nine point nine percent of the human race is born male or female.  Period.

Lie #5: Life begins at birth.

During the process of conception, a live sperm unites with a live ovum, this within the vital body of a live woman.  This human continues to live — unless torn limb from limb and vacuumed out by an abortionist — until a live baby comes into the world.  There is literally no time, from the very moment of conception until birth, where an unborn human is not alive.

Lie #6: Fat is beautiful.

All humans of any size are precious and children of God.  That being said, I’ve been a skinny, just right, and borderline obese child of God.  And nothing is just right when you’re overweight and out of shape.  You’re easily fatigued, your clothes don’t fit you properly, and trust me: hardly anyone of the opposite sex is giving you a second look.  Although no one, including me, should hate himself for carrying extra poundage, it’s imperative to work toward one’s ideal weight, especially if you wish to live a long and active life.

Lie #7: No one is illegal.

If there’s no right or wrong, if all that follows this life is one long dirt nap, then OK, no one’s illegal.  But in a world such as ours, with an almost universal moral code and a multitude of written laws, much is illegal.  You can’t waltz into a foreign country without permission any more than you’d stroll into a stranger’s house and raid his fridge.  Or steal his car, assault his spouse, or molest his kids.  It’s one of life’s most difficult challenges to stay on the right side of the law.  And, frankly, some people don’t even try and should absolutely be called illegal.  And punished accordingly.

The Lie #8: The FBI is the pre-eminent law enforcement agency in the world, and they enforce the law without fear or favor.

This might seem true to people who’ve been in a coma for the last decade or consider themselves staunch Democrats.  But to believe this, you’d have to ignore (deep breath): the Feebs lying to FISA courts in order to spy on Donald Trump, sharing communications where they talk of insurance plans for stopping Trump, giving Crooked Hillary a pass on mishandling classified info and destroying subpoenaed evidence, wasting time and millions of taxpayer dollars on the Trump-Russia Collusion Scam, stuffing Hunter Biden’s laptop full of debauchery and criminality into the circular file, setting up a bunch of halfwits for a faux conspiracy to kidnap Gov. Gretchen Whitmer, killing an old, disabled man in Utah for the crime of threatening Joe Biden on social media, and pawing through Melania Trump’s underwear drawer during the outrageous raid on Mar-a-Lago, all the while prepared to use deadly force to settle a records dispute.  A records dispute!

At present, Funny Business, Inc. is “handling” a robust investigation into the attempted assassination of former president Trump.  Expect an in-depth report on that incident sometime after the Feebs decide whether or not there’s any evidence of criminality on Hunter’s laptop.

Lie #9: Joe Biden and the Democrats have brought decency back into the White House.

I don’t know about decency, but it’s true that senile Joe and his lackeys brought a bunch of things into the Executive Mansion: Dylan Mulvaney, a man pretending to be a girl; a “mysterious” bag of cocaine; a transgendered person flashing his fake breasts on the South Lawn; six of the president’s seven grandchildren, the youngest born of an affair between a stripper and Biden’s felonious son being persona non grata; the selfish, spoiled, America-hating soccer star Megan Rapinoe; the lewd, obscenity-spewing rapper GloRilla; a pair of vicious German Shepherds, both fond of chomping on Secret Service agents; and, of course, Hunter, the president’s crack-smoking, sex-trafficking, illegal gun–wielding Biden Family bagman.  If that’s decency, you can keep it.

Lie #10: The U.S. economy’s great; you just don’t know it.

Perhaps this seems true to all the millionaire actors, athletes, newscasters, entertainers, and academics so fond of smooching Democrat derrières.  But for those of you like me, who have to pay bills and balance checkbooks, this is not the best of times, but the worst.  I mean, Burger Kings are going out of business.  Dollar Stores have had to come up with a new name since almost everything costs more than a dollar these days.  Personal credit debt is at a record high, not to mention our astronomic national debt.  How can anyone tell this particular lie without covering the smirk on his face?

It’s perhaps life’s greatest challenge to personally embrace truth and reject falsehoods.  I’ve struggled with that challenge, but at least I’ve made an effort.

Not so for the people peddling the lies listed above.

Image: Gage Skidmore via Flickr, CC BY-SA 2.0.

Image: Gage Skidmore via Flickr, CC BY-SA 2.0.