Last week, in Forsyth, GA, Tarmaine Jontavious “TJ” Bowden, age 19, was found guilty of murdering Cedric James “CJ” Mayes, age 17.  Bowden was sentenced to life in prison, no parole, meaning he’ll die in prison.  On January 2, 2022, Bowden confronted Mayes in the frozen foods section of Walmart.  An argument ensued, Bowden pulled a gun and shot Mayes six times, instantly killing him.  According to newspaper articles from the time of the shooting, Mayes had slept with Bowden’s girlfriend, filmed it, and bragged about it by sending the video to Bowden.  The result of the “you disrespected me” argument is that two black teens are gone from the hood.

The “hood” is not a location; it’s a state of mind of instant gratification, quick emotions, continual quest for more bling, rejection of education, defiance of authority, and a demand for respect while disrespecting their opponent.  Who is the opponent?  It’s everyone but one’s mother and grandmother because the hood is a matriarchal society largely devoid of adult men either because the men are in prison or long ago abandoned their families.  Mothers and grandmothers are the only ones who provide any sort of stability, continuity, guidance, and love in the lives of the hood dwellers.  Despite the love from single mothers and grandmothers, those fatherless homes are the genesis of the hood.

To be clear, not all people raised by single mothers and grandmothers are hood dwellers.  Many, perhaps most, turn out to be very productive members of their communities and go on to achieve great things.  Unfortunately, a sizable number get trapped by the hood mindset and never escape.  Obviously, TJ and CJ didn’t escape and it cost them their lives.

Sadly, the above description of an argument between two black teens that leads to murder, trial with conviction, followed by life in prison is so common that it barely warrants a second glance.  Such tragedies occur daily in large cities such as Atlanta, St. Louis, Chicago, Detroit, and so on.  And it occurs more often than people realize in smaller cities such as Chattanooga, Macon, GA, and Valdosta, GA.  The violence really hits home when it happens in your community; as this murder did in my little town of Forsyth, GA, a town of 5,000 located an hour south of Atlanta.

“Live by the sword, die by the sword” is an appropriate expression when talking about this murder.  It seems that the youths involved (Both were 17 years old when the murder occurred.) were headed towards a life of crime.  I say that because prior to the shooting, both Bowden and Mayes were known to local law enforcement.  According to District Attorney Jonathan Adams, TJ Bowden had been in the juvenile court system.  We don’t know why because juvenile records are not released.  However, in November 2021, just two months before he committed murder, his older brother, Deon Bowden, was convicted and sentenced to 35 years in prison for a May 2020 shootout with police.  As for Mayes, five months prior (August 2021), he had been arrested for stealing a Monroe County school bus and taking it for a joyride.  Additionally, at age 17, Mayes had dropped out of school and already had a son out of wedlock.  Bottom line, both teens were far off-track towards that of a successful life.

This murder and conviction are tragic in so many ways.  First, two families are ruined.  They will never be the same -- one is dealing with a life cut short, and the other is dealing with two family members lost to incarceration.  Second, when you think about the impact that one person can make, we realize that both lives were utterly wasted.  Neither of them will become a teacher, a soldier, mechanic, truck driver, banker, business owner or anything else.  Some might argue that since Mayes had a son, his life wasn’t completely wasted.  Okay, I’ll hold off on that judgement.  However, crime figures tell us that boys raised by single women are at much greater risk, meaning the success rate of such boys isn’t good.  Let’s hope and pray that his son grows up to be productive but… I’m not holding my breath. 

The greatest tragedy of this crime is that such events happen far too often among our young boys/teens/men, especially young black youths.  Years ago, arguments were settled with fists.  Now, they’re quickly settled with a gun, and the results are predictable -- one dead and one in prison for life; families destroyed; and a child left fatherless.  It seems to be a merry-go-round -- youth raised without a father, commits murder, goes to prison, and leaves a son without a father.  And that fatherless son, in turn, repeats the cycle of violent, sometimes doing the killing or sometimes the one getting killed.  Very, very sad.

This keeps happening largely because when a boy is raised fatherless and without an adult male figure, they never learn conflict resolution or to consider the long-term consequences of their actions.  They’re brought up to instantly get their way by getting angry and lashing out.  That’s because single mothers far too often yield to a yelling, screaming brat who turns into a yelling, screaming, violent, angry teen.  That angry teen then immediately strikes back when a perceived disrespect occurs.

Two weeks after he was murdered, I went to CJ’s funeral.  I was the only one that looked like me (white guy) in attendance.  This was not the first “shoot ‘em-up” funeral I’ve been to.  I’ve been to dozens because I want to understand the why of what’s happening.  Also, I want blacks to know that people like me (white dude) care because we’re all part of an interconnected community.  Out of all the funerals I’ve attended, never has anyone pointed to me and said that people like me are why CJ was killed.  Instead, without exception, the eulogist asks the attendees to look into “our hearts” and within our own community if we want these killings to end.  Finally, he (or she) preaches that we all must embrace love and compassion, and be ready to meet God.

Is there a solution?  Of course there is.  However, as a society, we must be willing to confront the “why” of the family breakdown and then be willing to implement the necessary fixes.  Unfortunately, as we see in murder-city after murder-city, most hood dwellers would rather blame someone else instead of looking in the mirror and confronting the problems. 

Image: PickPik