Sometimes, you see things that one cannot believe.  It is as if recent history means nothing.

The National Institute of Health is considering the effectiveness of an opioid (Tramadol) for depression.  The USA is still in the midst of an opioid crisis, and our edumacated experts are considering opioids as a treatment option?!

Tramadol: A Missed Opportunity for the Treatment of Depression

There are more than 50 citations appearing in peer-reviewed biomedical and patent literature documenting the efficacy of tramadol as an antidepressant in animal models and in humans.

Now, Tramadol is at the lower end of the spectrum for opioids.  So the theory is that it might not be so addictive.

[C]omparatively 100 mg of Tramadol equals 10 mg of morphine. The idea that it is a weaker and less addictive opioid is, therefore, misunderstood.

The patient testimonies are rosy and positive.  Sounds familiar?  Remember this rousing commercial for oxycontin in 1998, where the consumer was assured, “Don’t be afraid to take what they give you”?

As someone who has had severe pain in his life, on rare occasions, I have had to take to take painkillers — and boy, did I need them.  I also found out that they were excellent mood-picker-uppers.  Who knew?  Apparently, not the edumacated experts.  What a surprise!

Unfortunately, my natural skepticism prevented me from overusing opioids.  I was never told that they could be anti-depressants.  So as soon as the pain went away, my standard practice was to toss the remaining pain pills.  My poor health made me depressed, and there I was, throwing away medical relief that had been right there in my hands all along.

How stupid could I have been?  I wasn’t edumacated enough.

Well, actually, there is plenty of available evidence that Tramadol is an anti-depressant...from, of all places, Gaza.

Even before the present conflagration, it seems that living in Gaza was depressing.  Don’t worry about whether to blame Hamas or the Israel restrictions — the youth were unemployed and depressed.

So Tramadol came to the rescue.  Many years ago — long before the present war — Al Jazeera reported on an “addiction” crisis in Gaza.  And what were the youth using to assuage their miserable lives?  They couldn’t take beer or alcohol, as Islam does not allow an honest shot of whiskey, so the Gazans self-medicated with Tramadol, or so the story went.

Well, maybe the news report had it wrong.  Maybe the Gazans were just blazing frontiers in psychiatric research.

TRAMADOL...Gaza tested.  Gaza approved.

Perhaps when the upcoming emergency port to Gaza is finally opened, Biden can make sure to send in lots of the now relabeled anti-depressant. Given the present destruction, Gazans will be needing Tramadol more than ever.

To repeat, I am not a cruel scrooge.  There are times that painkillers are absolutely needed, and they can save lives, preventing post-surgical patients from going into pain-induced dangerous shock.  But, for crying out loud, do not start calling opiates antidepressants — unless, of course, you are an edumacated expert writing for medical journals.

Some more evidence comes from Egypt, which is also having a Tramadol addiction crisis.

In a way, I cannot blame the Egyptians.  They were depressed.  Islam can do that to you.  So, with Islamic law discouraging a nighttime hot toddy, they turned to...Tramadol.  Halal accepted, mullah approved.

Now, also to be clear, I am not suggesting that alcohol should also be relabeled an antidepressant.  It gives one a pleasant buzz — which is why people drink it — but properly and moderately used, it is a part of Western culture and has the benefit of being honest.

Scripture assures us that God gave us “wine to gladden the heart of man” (Psalm 104:15), and though I lean to Baptist interpretations of the Bible, I believe that the wine in mind was wine, not grape juice.  Honestly used, and moderated, wine can be healthy.  But the key is that we do not dignify alcohol, more than it should be, as scientific medication.

Were medical experts to relabel alcohol as a mild antidepressant, it could be prescribed as a legitimate treatment for difficult kids in grammar school.  Sort of like Ritalin.

A teacher would classify Little Johnny as a sourpuss and send him to the school psychiatrist, who would diagnose him as being in immediate need of psychiatric treatment.  Johnny would then be mandated to show up at the school nurse’s office every morning for his measured shot of Jack Daniels and head out to start the day with an attitude adjustment, ready to take on the world.

Substantial portions of the descendants of the Irish and Scots have been doing that for millennia — only their definition of off-label use meant relying on the old reliable A&P Blended Whiskey.  But again, we erroneously slandered those Gaels as cheap.  They were ahead of their time in cost-saving strategies, preferring generic prescriptions to overpriced brand names.  The real trailblazers were those hobos who found relief in bargain basement ripple, which has the oddly professional-sounding name of MD 20/20.  MD sounded so wonderfully therapeutic, like a doctor, an M.D., but the depressed hobos affectionately called their medicine Mad Dog.

And that is the problem.  Islam hates dogs, which prevents Egyptian Muslims from availing themselves of such infidel relief.  So, rather than Mad Dog, Egyptians retreated to Tramadol.  Moreover, MD 20/20 is made by Mogen David, which sounds suspiciously Jewish.  Better to stick with Tramadol, a non-Zionist, halal-approved remedy, soon to have psychiatric approbation.

Just remember that Dr. Freud once recommended cocaine.  Were he alive today, he might also recommend Tramadol!

Again, if you have pain issues, there is nothing wrong with Tramadol.  It is quite effective, and it works.  Use it wisely.  But don’t label it as an antidepressant.  And again, I can understand why some people might need psychiatric medication, but opioids should not be part of the psychiatric arsenal.

Stick to Jack Daniels, if you must.  A good stiff drink is honest.  If you want to save money, repair to Thunderbird, which is an American classic.

Some have seen through this idiocy, especially Evoke Wellness (cited above), who concluded:

The fact that Tramadol has a widespread reputation for being less addictive is simply untrue. It stimulates the brain’s opioid receptors and can affect someone the same way that heroin or other prescription pain killers do that contain opiates.

Excellently put.

Ultimately, everyone has to be his own doctor.  Don’t trust the edumacated experts.

Image via Pexels.