Considering the Fox Business debacle that took place on September 27, more commonly called Republican National Committee (RNC) debate, many people are suggesting it’s time to change the format. Currently, the next snoozefest is scheduled for November 8 in Miami and will be hosted by NBC. (Another network that is known for its fairness to Conservatives—not!)

Does anyone remember anything from those two wasted September 27 hours when candidates polling close to zero attacked candidates polling close to 5 percent?

The highlight was former South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley and Senator Tim Scott shouting about curtains purchased for Haley’s new residence when she was United Nations ambassador during the Trump administration.

Let’s say curtains to both their presidential campaigns!

The next debate will give Chris Christie another opportunity to look into the camera and speak directly to President Donald Trump, who is leading by 40 to 60 points, depending on the poll. I can already imagine what he’ll say:

“Donald, I know you’re listening. Why aren’t you on this stage so I could tell you to your face how much I hate you? How much I detest you. How much I curse the ground you walk on. By the way, if you are re-elected next year, I’d like a cabinet position.”

Maybe Christie needs to beach his presidential campaign. In 2017, then-Governor Christie closed New Jersey beaches during a government shutdown but then spent a day on the sand with his family.

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, who remains in second place in most polls and is still highly respected by many conservatives, wants to debate. However, his campaign prefers higher criteria thresholds. This way, only candidates who seriously have a chance of being nominated are on the stage. Former Arkansas Governor Asa Hutchinson probably thinks this means him.

A major RNC problem is that Donald Trump has better things to do than debate someone from a state most people can’t remember. (By the way, Governor Burgum of either North or South Dakota, my husband and I are still waiting for our gift cards.)

Image made using a YouTube screen grab.

What should the RNC do to get people to watch the Trumpless debates? Here are some suggestions:

* To make the debates more interesting, include entertainment. For instance, have Joe Biden reciting the Declaration of Independence as he did in May 2020:

We hold these truths to be self-evident. All men and women are created, by the, you know, you know the thing.

* Perhaps have a Trump impersonator come out and say all the things Donald Trump can’t say due to communist-like gag orders. (Note to Trump: I will be happy to do it.)

* Since the debate format often resembles a Saturday Night Live skit, ask NBC to hold it at 11:30 p.m. on a Saturday night.

Moderator: In 60 seconds, please share how you would guarantee world peace, bring inflation down, and secure the border.

Candidate A: The first thing I would do …

Candidate B (interrupting): Wrong! You would not do that!

Candidate C: I never did that either!

Candidate D: Donald, I know you’re listening …

Moderator: Please! Stop talking over each other! Everyone will have time to respond once we get back from our commercial about an issue of importance to Republicans, Democrats, and Independents: erectile dysfunction.

* Make it more like a game show. On one side, America First Republicans and, on the other side, Globalist Republicans.

Host: We’ve surveyed 100 people to learn which city they don’t care to save:

America First: Kyiv!

Globalists: San Francisco!

Host: And the answer is Washington, D.C.!

Host: We’ve surveyed 100 people to find out which necessities, due to Bidenomics, Americans must go without:

America First: Food, clothing, and shelter!

Globalists: Food, clothing, and bomb shelters!

Host: And the answer is plant-based foods.

Come November 8, it doesn’t matter what the moderator asks. Candidates will yell at each other, speak over each other, and ignore each other to get their talking points out.

Of course, we know what will actually happen during the debates;

• The moderator can ask about the horrific Iran-sponsored Hamas attack on Israel that killed 1,400 innocent civilians, and a candidate will answer that there are 1,400 ways his plan will reduce inflation.
• The moderator can ask if the candidates agree that the world sees Joe Biden as weak, and a candidate will respond that a week doesn’t go by where Americans aren’t hurt by rampant crime.
• The moderator can ask if the candidates think the United States should continue sheltering Ukraine and a candidate will say he is all for supporting homeless shelters.

If the RNC goes ahead and holds the November 8 debate, candidates must talk about issues that are important to Republicans. Here are several questions they can ask (preferably in English).

• Should Americans be worried that Biden might think “World War III” is a new ice cream flavor and thrust the country into a nuclear war?
• Due to Bidenflation, do candidates realize that many American dinner recipes now start with “just add water?”
• Is the free stuff the Biden administration gives to illegal alien invaders different from the free stuff lobbyists give you?
• Do you support gun control? Follow-up question: Do you also support knife control, baseball bat control, brick control, fist control…?
• Do you believe parks, schools, hotels, sports fields, shopping centers, city streets, suburban streets, rural streets, and cemeteries are appropriate locations for homeless camps? Follow-up question: What about in front of your house?

And the bonus question:

• If you were a tree, what tree would you be?

The RNC is not going to change the debate format because it is too busy spending all its time and money on election integrity to make sure there is no fraud in the 2024 presidential election. (Not!)

On November 8, it is going to be, “Live from Miami, it’s Wednesday night!”

Robin M. Itzler is a regular contributor to American Thinker. She can be reached at PatriotNeighbors@yahoo.com.