With the abandonment of its longstanding requirement for coats and ties, a new, much lower standard of decorum has been set for the United States Senate, which we as conservatives (a/k/a normal, healthy people) naturally deplore. This was done to accommodate the sloppy tendencies of Senator John Fetterman, who prefers to dress in hoodies, shorts, and tennis shoes. No doubt Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer needs to keep every Democrat senator happy enough that they toe the Party line without protest. However, as upsetting as the idea of this new, slovenly Senate may be, there is a subtle upside that becomes apparent if we stop to consider why it is that we normals expect our nation’s leaders to be reasonably well-dressed as they perform their official duties.

The answer is that our leaders should be men and women of honesty, integrity, and probity who sincerely desire what is best for our country, and therefore dress in a manner that denotes the seriousness of their responsibilities. But does that description remotely fit the Democrats? Obviously not! Fetterman himself has failed in every post he’s held: he was a lousy mayor, so Democrats elevated him to lousy lieutenant governor, and then, after a highly-questionable “victory” over Mehmet Oz in the 2022 election, he advanced to the rank of barely-functional senator, having suffered a stroke and being hospitalized for depression. Fortunately for Fetterman, the Democrat Party is the one organization in which failure is rewarded by promotion. For all we know, they’re going to run him for President in 2024, and if their unlimited ballot-harvesting isn’t prevented this time, I see no reason why they couldn’t succeed in installing him in the White House the same way they did Joe Biden, with whom he has much in common.

Now, in the olden days of twenty or thirty years ago when America was still a semi-free nation, we were told to “dress for success,” but for Fetterman, handicapped as he is by illness, incompetence, and leftist political thought, success is out of the question. So why shouldn’t he dress like a middle-aged man still living in his parents’ basement, reminding everyone of the failure he always was and still is today? In fact, why should any Democrat be bound by the standards of a better time? (Republicans, of course, should continue to hold themselves to a higher standard.) Let’s play the role of valet to some prominent Democrats to help them dress in a manner that reflects their inner selves by suggesting a new wardrobe for each of them in turn:

For Senator Bernie Sanders, a 60s hippie outfit: Back in that era, Sanders was instantly recognizable as a worthless, shiftless bum from his scruffy appearance. (He was so lazy he was even thrown out of a hippie commune!) True, after decades of sponging off the public treasury he no longer has to raid other people’s refrigerators (except indirectly through the high taxes he loves to impose), but inside he’s still the same parasitic loafer he was then, so let him trade in his tie for a tie-dyed T-shirt and a loud pair of button-fly bell-bottom trousers -- all well-worn and dirty.

For Vice-President Kamala Harris, the streetwalker’s uniform: a red skirt that’s too short and too tight, a top that bares the midriff, and a mismatched black purse along with plenty of gaudy make-up. Harris is, after all, the woman who lusted after power so badly she embarked upon an affair with a politician thirty years her senior merely so that she could be introduced to the “right people,” i.e. the corrupt oligarchy in San Francisco that runs the state of California. Nor does she have any other qualifications for public office; like Fetterman she has managed to fail upward so spectacularly that she now babbles incoherently as V.P. while we normals can only pray that Joe Biden’s failing health holds together a little longer.

For Sam “Non-binary” Brinton, former Deputy Assistant Secretary in the Energy Department, and Richard “Rachel” Levine, Assistant Secretary for Health we can do little: these two worthies don’t need a new wardrobe since they had already discarded proper male attire before they took office and then never changed -- and in their case, any change would have been an improvement. Levine, for all the postmodern bunk about “transgenderism,” has the outward appearance of an old-style transvestite, although even transvestites (think Ed Wood) didn’t used to believe they were actually women but simply liked to wear women’s clothing. Judged as a male he’s below average in looks; by female standards he’s butt-ugly -- but then again, destroying the standards of health and beauty is another preoccupation of the Left. Brinton’s appearance frankly defies description when he’s being his “non-binary” self -- I can only call it “frightening” and refer readers to his photographs -- but he may yet be forced to exchange his preferred garb for an orange jumpsuit as most prison wardens are rather inflexible when it comes to fashion. In other words, both men represent perfectly the standards of the Democrat Party today.

Alas for Senator Chuck Schumer, last on our list, he’s going to have to miss out on all the fun since he will continue to follow the old Senate dress code, and I think that appropriate. Why? Because while Schumer is at base a thug who openly threatened two Supreme Court justices if they dared vote to overturn Roe v. Wade (“I want to tell you, Gorsuch, I want to tell you, Kavanaugh, you have released the whirlwind and you will pay the price!”), he is an upper-echelon thug, much like a mafia don, and should dress accordingly. It is only fitting that he should carry on sartorially as a Dinosaur Democrat, a fossil from the era when Democrats, like mafiosi, covered their crude criminality with the clothes of respectable citizens.

Democrats seek absolute power, and that means that they’re unbalanced mentally. Normal people do not dream of turning others into their slaves. This explains their widespread sexual deviancy and desire to sexually exploit youth, their willingness to betray any principle, to sell their own bodies and souls, to corrupt and destroy a nation. Lacking ability, they are unqualified to hold any position outside of government; lacking morals, they are unfit to hold any position within it. Therefore, let Democrat politicians dress like the slobs, bums, whores, whoremongers, perverts, and criminals that they are. Let their appearance match their stature, and let those of us who want to save America as a free republic be reminded by that appearance of how miniscule their stature is and how eminently beatable they are, if only we have the courage to confront and defeat them.

Image: Gov. Tom Wolf