Kevin Costner's wife of many years, Christine Baumgartner, has filed for divorce.  I was struck by the routine manner in which the news of the filing was reported, as if it were "just another divorce," hardly worth reporting.  Costner's publicist blamed the divorce on "circumstances beyond his control," a pretty bland explanation for something as momentous as the dissolution of an eighteen-year marriage.

In fact, progressives have done all they can, beginning with Women's Lib and "Open Marriage" in the 1970s and continuing through woke politics, with its emphasis on gay and trans-gendered experience, to undermine conventional marriage.  At its heart, progressivism is nihilistic, seeking to destroy existing institutions and beliefs and replace them with slavery masquerading as the freedom.  All traditional institutions and beliefs stand in the way of this transformation, which is why they are the target of left-wing politicians and media.

No other institution is as important as the nuclear family.  When a man and a woman join together for life with the intention of raising children and working toward a secure retirement, he State loses much of its control over them.  They do not need the "services" of the State.  Their marriage is a fortress against the State's determination to exert dependency.  They can live happily and raise their children according to their values and not those of the State — and their values are based on truths about human nature, not on the warped ideology of Marxism.

Progressives are determined to destroy traditional ideas of marriage and replace them with ad hoc arrangements more amenable to state control.  The deep and enduring love of man and wife offers something real and meaningful, beyond anything the State can provide.  When love is lasting and true, it is the foundation for a joyful existence — not the State, not what one is told on state-controlled media, not what is taught in government schools, not the endless "benefits" dangled in front of the voter to buy his vote.  From within the bastion of the family, one can see the State for what it is: the enemy of liberty and of life itself.

No wonder the nuclear family is one of the prime targets of the left.  How often do films or media depict conventional nuclear families in a positive light?  How often do a couple with young children, especially if they are white, appear as positive role models?  How often do government schools encourage parents to work with teachers to construct a family-centered curriculum?  Why does the tax code impose a marriage penalty?  Why do welfare laws exclude those families with a father in the home?

The State is determined to discredit marriage and make it just another "lifestyle choice," like bowling or crafts.  The one thing that cannot be allowed is for individuals to put spiritual beliefs ahead of the State, and belief in marriage — along with faith in God and belief in traditional morality — is a deeply spiritual and redemptive faith in the goodness of life, the goodness of one's mate, and the goodness of the future for one's children.  None of this is within the control of the State, a fact intensely resented by progressives like Biden and those who control him.  Not long ago, Biden celebrated "Pride Month" at the White House.  When's the last time a liberal celebrated the nuclear family?

A true marriage is forever, "'til death do us part," and it is tragic when a marriage fails.  Marriage is one great source of meaning and security in a world that is, and always has been, insecure and dangerous.  It provides couples with the courage and strength to face hardship without the assistance of the State.  A stable marriage provides the comfortable, affirming, loving home that is the opposite of the cold, faceless bureaucracy of government assistance.

By definition, marriage is monogamous and exclusive.  Husband and wife are faithful to each other and to the task of raising their children.  At its heart, marriage involves a deep concern for the well-being and happiness of one's mate and one's children, and that concern is not just for a season or a year.  Because it is permanent and stable and exclusive, married love grows over the years.  Friendships come and go, as do work relationships, but the love of married couples can conquer time. 

According to an article in Harvard Health Publishing, the "health benefits" of marriage are also extensive and remarkable.  Those who are married have fewer strokes and heart attacks, avoid depression, better survive operations, and are "less likely to have advanced cancer ... and are more likely to survive cancer for a longer period of time."  Probing the reasons for these positive outcomes, Harvard Health suggests that married persons have stronger immune systems and better cortisol management; have a safer, less risky, and healthier lifestyle; and enjoy a better, less stressful emotional life.

All of this is just to say that marriage fulfills needs that are deeply grounded in human nature.  For most people, marriage is the best and proper path because it is rooted in the natural order of things: it is in our nature as human beings to seek a stable, permanent relationship with one person of the opposite sex.  Marriage is not just an arrangement that can be dispensed with or not: it fulfills the need for intimacy, affirmation, security, and love that, for most, can be found only in a permanent relationship with another person of the opposite sex.

There is also the matter of children.  For most married persons, procreation and raising of children is a supremely meaningful part of their lives.  In his account of Socrates's dialogue with Diotima in the Symposium, Plato conveyed very much the same idea: that most human beings, as he put it, seek "immortality" through offspring.  As an elitist, Plato believed that mental pursuits, especially philosophy, offered a "higher" form of immortality, but he thought that only a few were capable of this "higher" vocation.  On this point, Plato was wrong, as he was about so much else, but at least he did recognize that marriage and family are natural and necessary for most persons.

I do not believe that marriage is the only means to satisfying human needs for stability and meaning.  Some who live alone find great meaning in their work; some devote themselves to helping others; some discover similar sources of meaning in lifelong friendships.

It is also true that a large percentage of marriages end, as Kevin Costner's and Christine Baumgartner's may have, in divorce, but this does not mean that divorce is in any sense "natural" or that is should be accepted as such.  It happens, but there is a loss of happiness, security, and human potential, both for the divorcing couple and for children, family, and friends.

Marriage is, quite simply, a beautiful and inspiring devotion of a man and a woman to one another and to their dreams of raising a family, achieving success, a living together forever in love.  The State is the enemy of all these dreams, and marriage, along with other forms of faith grounded in human nature, is part of what stands in the way of the totalitarianism we are facing.  We must honor marriage and celebrate the freedom and happiness it makes possible.

Jeffrey Folks is the author of many books and articles on American culture including Heartland of the Imagination (2011).

Image: StockSnap via Pixabay, Pixabay License.