Discipline was always hard for me. (My wife claimed that the word “sap” was written in neon letters on my forehead.) But I must credit myself with a few amazingly effective techniques I developed over the years, all of which mesh with conservative principles about self-reliance and the free market. My techniques are the exact opposite of helicopter parenting (the middle-class norm for the past thirty years) and, I believe, much more effective.

Our daughter was born in 1992, and it was the happiest day of my life (that is, except for every other day that I have spent with her). I swear she smiled at me as soon as she popped out of mom. Some claim it must have been just gas, but I remember a real smile. (Oh, yeah, my wife objects when I say “popped out,” assuring me that it is a good thing that men do not give birth.)

Her first word was “go” (pointing up at the spinning ceiling fan), her second word was “hi” (to everybody she met), but her third word was “daddy”! My daughter and I were extraordinarily close throughout her childhood. We are still close even though she has been married for six years.

My daughter, once in school, was very much a scatterbrain. For years she would forget to bring home items necessary for homework and assignments. This necessitated frequent trips back to the school to retrieve said documents, books, or whatever. While her mother was the most frequent emergency chauffeur, I did my share as well. Once back at school, my daughter would sweet-talk the custodian into letting her into the classroom, and off we went back home.

Image: A girl and her schoolbooks by master1305.

By third grade, two frustrated parents were ready to simply let her take the “F” on the assignment. And, maybe most of the readers of American Thinker would agree that doing so is the best approach. But, I came up with an idea that ultimately worked like a charm: a free market approach to parenting.

I devised a sliding fee scale that she would have to pay to get a ride back to school to retrieve something she had forgotten. In elementary school, a ride back would cost a modest $5; in middle school, this jumped to $10; and in high school, it was a whopping $15.

I don’t know if my daughter took it seriously when I first imposed this sliding scale, but upon forgetting a needed book for a weekend assignment in third grade, she had no choice but to hand over five bucks to mom. It was completely unfair, of course, since she earned that five bucks helping around the house. She paid, but not without the unhappy expression that her mom called “schnugger face.”

Eventually (or should I say slowly), the forgetfulness began to give way to a more attentive approach to schoolwork. Yes, she still forgot items, but at least she had to decide for herself if the loss of grade (and the subsequent disapproval of her parents) was worth the dough. She began to learn how to prioritize. If a missed assignment was worth only a few points, she might just decide to hold onto the money. But, if it were an important assignment or something she was really good at, well, she would just have to get out her money.

Handing over ten bucks of hard-earned money as a sixth grader was no laughing matter. I can recall only once in high school that the poor dear had to pay $15 because of a forgotten paper or book. By then, she realized the stakes were high, and the costs were correspondingly high as well.

Just to be a nudge, I would sometimes knock on her bedroom door, and upon being admitted, I would ask her if there was anything she needed to go back to school to retrieve. I said that I was available and only too happy to oblige. Fully aware that she was being messed with, she would reply, “Noooooo.” I would tell her that I was a bit short of cash and that I was just looking to earn a few bucks! Eye-roll and schnugger-face!

Well, it worked! My daughter ultimately earned an honors diploma in high school and later a degree in biology. She works at a satisfying job, she is as much a free market conservative as her parents, and she married a great guy (fortunately, also a conservative who spent eight years in the Marine Corps).

I realize that parents today who desire to implement such an approach must pay heed to our inflationary times. In Biden’s America, gasoline prices being what they are, I think the scale might have to start at a double sawbuck, but you can decide for yourselves.

While on the topic, I thought I would share another brilliant idea that I had with regard to discipline. Our daughter is, of course, perfect, but still, she got grounded for her occasional acting out or bad behavior. Well, I took things a step further, probably because of watching too much Law and Order on TV.

I devised a document called “Notice of Grounding.” This was a pseudo-legal document that had a place for me to fill in her name, her offense, and the number of days of the grounding. It started off: “Now comes the plaintiff, Dad (or Mom), …,” with all the particulars listed. This I would post on her bedroom door, and she would have to look at it upon entering and leaving.

Not to be a complete martinet, I also devised another document, the “Application for Parole.” After a few days grounding, my daughter would ask for this document, which began “Now comes the appellant,” with a place for her to fill in her name. This might have seemed a bit silly for an only child, but the proprieties must be observed.

My daughter would have to write out a summary of her misbehavior and also what she learned from it. And, unlike the expectations of too many of her teachers, we required that spelling had to be correct. The bottom of the form had a place for the “parole board,” mom and dad, to sign, along with any particular conditions that the board might care to impose.

I must say this approach to discipline was also very effective. The Notice made clear what the problem was, and the Application for Parole made her think carefully about what she had to do going forward. Was this perfect? No, but it sure was better than any other approach we tried.

I think it was an effective middle ground between the relatively rigid regimen of my own childhood and the permissiveness that is all too common today. Who knows? Free market parenting, as a helpful antidote to the exhaustion and obsessions of helicopter parenting, might catch on.

Dr. Bruno, a scientist retired after more than 40 years in research, amuses himself writing books and editing scientific journals, along with wood and metal working.