When a story comes out about a Pelosi getting hammered, a normal person assumes the news has something to do with a drunk speaker of the House named Nancy slurring through a staged press conference with her Pravda media friends.  You do not expect to find out that an alleged commie Castro nudist with a fondness for psychedelics has managed to Mission: Impossible his way past tight security surrounding one of the speaker's guarded homes in order to play handyman with her husband's tools.  

If there were ever an apt metaphor for how horrendous crime has become in the blue hellholes ruled over by pompous, pampered Democrat "elites," surely a Black Lives Matter–supporting, gay love–loving hippie effortlessly traipsing into the local digs of another out-of-touch, loony leftist — whose wife happens to be third in line of presidential succession — surely takes the cake!  If Nancy Pelosi can't keep her drunk-driving husband safe from the carpentry fetishes of unwanted intruders, how can she keep normal law-abiding citizens safe from the narco-terrorists and sex-traffickers slipping past the southern border?  Oh, right — unlike Paul Pelosi's alleged attacker, the U.S. government has given the criminals at our borders permission to enter freely.  

Needless to say, the whole Pelosi break-in is just too tantalizingly odd for ordinary Americans to dismiss as normal, run-of-the-mill, celebrity-inspired criminal craziness.  In my neck of the woods, few home invaders could have made it onto the premises without heavily armed homeowners greeting the interlopers with a few well placed slugs to say, "Hello."  It boggles the mind to imagine that it is easier to sneak up on Nancy's gilded husband in the middle of the night than it is to break into the humble abodes of "flyover country" folk, but that is the "official story," and if there is anything Americans have learned during the Age of COVID and Climate Change Hysteria, the "official story" is the only story that will suffice.

Of course, the "official story" pushed by Hillary Clinton, Groper Joe Biden, and their mind slaves in the propagandistic press is that the alleged commie culprit attacked Nancy's husband Paul in an act of solidarity with Donald Trump and his "Make America Great Again" patriotic posse.  Even though the alleged perp's public history is about as anti-MAGA and pro-Marxist-socialist as one could possibly imagine, Drunk Hillary insists he's part of the same "vast right-wing conspiracy" that's been tormenting the Clintons ever since her husband Bill got caught hiding Cuban cigars with a White House intern in the Oval Office.  Creepy Joe says the hammer-time mayhem occurred only because too many dull-witted Americans (takes one to know one?) keep questioning the legitimacy of the 2020 election.  (By the way, if you haven't yet seen Dinesh D'Souza's 2000 Mules for a quick tutorial on the mechanics of mail-in ballot fraud, definitely check it out.)  And the oligarchy's approved corporate press agents are all sputtering breathlessly that Paul's unwanted hammering in crime-tolerant San Fran strikes yet another blow against our oh, so fragile, precious "democracy" — which apparently replaced our much more robust constitutional federal republic without amendments or fanfare right around the same time Obama and Holder's Department of Justice began formally categorizing political adversaries as enemies of the State.  On the other hand, all of these people still inexplicably blame communist Lee Harvey Oswald's assassination of JFK on "right-wing extremism" and "Texan aggression," so their credibility is about as solid as our borders are secure.

No doubt you've seen all the details first reported and subsequently "clarified" or outright retracted by the San Francisco Police Department and the Democrats' minions in the press.  It took nearly three days to "clarify" that Paul Pelosi did not know his attacker, that an unknown third party had not actually opened the front door for the police, that Pelosi and his unwanted guest were not wrestling in their underwear, and that the altercation involved a single hammer rather than dual hammer dueling.  Even in this technologically regressed era, when Pennsylvania and other battleground states require many days to (find and) count enough Democrat votes to "save democracy," it remains somewhat shocking that major details surrounding a major case could get so bungled by the same officials and reporters who routinely demand public trust.  

Publicly available images of the Pelosi mansion show a ubiquity of security cameras surrounding its perimeter, so it strains credulity to suggest that the suspect's movements and actions that night were difficult to pin down.  Surely the fact that an alleged drug addict with a history of mental illness seemingly managed to penetrate Pelosi's security so effortlessly begs for further official clarification, lest the unbridled temerity of America's growing criminal class swell further.  I mean, my word!  If it is that easy for a commie Castro nudist to prance right in the back door of the home of one of America's most powerful politicians, then no unarmed American can possibly be safe!  Banning hammers in the United States would only ensure that ordinary, helpless Americans are forced to invite criminal hammer-holders into their homes during times of repair.  No, for safety's sake, the Pelosi intrusion proves why every American should be armed to the teeth.  Only a commie malcontent brings a hammer and sickle to a gunfight!

Maybe as more details come dribbling out, the events of that night will make more sense.  However, when a gay rights and BLM activist who looks like a New-Age-y vegetarian disciple of the left's murderous hero Che Guevara comes knocking on Paul Pelosi's back door in the middle of the night and Pretend President Biden and his Democrat Propaganda Machine immediately jump into action by blaming Trump-supporters, the whole spin operation reeks of the same odor still choking doubters of Jeffrey Epstein's declared suicide.  Maybe Epstein — the key witness to a child prostitution ring involving unknown perverts and rapists purportedly from the highest ranks of the world's business and political classes — killed himself in a New York jail cell while guards and cameras were conveniently absent, and maybe Paul Pelosi's alleged commie Castro nudist attacker was leading a secret double-life as a MAGA enthusiast.  Maybe the same FBI agents who still can't find the alleged culprit responsible for leaving failed explosive devices near Republican and Democrat party headquarters around January 6, 2021 will miraculously find footage of the San Fran hammerer wearing a bright red cap and suspiciously waving an American flag.  Or maybe all the politicians and media pundits trying to frame the Pelosi incursion as a right-wing terrorist attack will be proved once again as first-rate peddlers of pernicious misinformation.  

What is absolutely certain is that neither the U.S. federal government nor its media propaganda organs give a fig about crime or political violence unless it can be used to slander MAGA Republicans.  Pro-life organizations and churches are firebombed, and the FBI does nothing.  Conservative volunteers and Republican campaign workers are brutally beaten and shot on the street, and the corporate news is silent.  A cowardly neighbor severely wounds Senator Rand Paul in a sneak attack, and Democrats (including Nancy Pelosi's daughter) cry with laughter and jubilation.  A Democrat stalwart, brainwashed by the endless corporate news promoting the lie that Russia stole the 2016 election from Hillary, nearly succeeds in assassinating an entire baseball team of Republican senators and representatives (again including Rand Paul), and the Democrat-Media Complex hides behind calls for unity, while simultaneously casting blame on the victims.

Some commie nutjob gets into the Pelosis' fortified complex, though, and somehow it's all Trump's fault!  As always, the mainstream media lies and doth protest too much!

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