I used to be pro-choice. That was before I had an abortion, experienced serious trauma, and then sat in on a veterinary abortion a few years later.

Most abortionists have been taught that the procedure is safe and helpful to women and, that if it’s not legal, women will die in back-alley abortions. Many claim that thousands of lives are saved every year thanks to legal abortion care. In truth, back-alley abortion deaths were rare before Roe v. Wade, and legalizing abortion didn’t prevent Dr. Kermit Gosnell from murdering living babies and endangering the lives of countless women until he was convicted and sentenced to serve three life sentences in prison.

It’s not enough for abortion to be legal in the first trimester any longer. Pro-abortion stances have gotten more and more extreme with each year. The lines are constantly being redrawn as younger and younger women are taught that if they cannot kill a viable baby that would live outside of the womb -- even up until the day it’s born -- that they are somehow oppressed. Anyone who questions this religion of political extremism is considered an enemy. If you’re a woman, you’re a traitor. Worst of all, abortion-celebrating liberals everywhere will scream out the false accusation that “Pro-lifers only care about babies until they are born!”

I was raised by a liberal mother and indoctrinated by the public education system. I fell for Planned Parenthood’s marketing campaigns. When I got pregnant the summer before my senior year of high school, not only did the father coerce me into having an abortion, all my friends said it was my only option, and my own mother drove me to have the procedure done. I wasn’t raped, I wasn’t molested. I was just a young adult who was told that the “procedure” is safe and easy.

But it wasn’t. I felt the life detach. It was the most horrific event of my life. The emptiness that filled me when my eight-week-old baby was suctioned out of my body was a nightmare that would haunt me for the rest of my life. My body didn’t heal as fast as I was told it would either. I couldn’t lift heavy boxes at work without bleeding or experiencing severe pain for a month.

I mourned the loss and suffered in silence because everyone said I made the right choice, but it never felt right. I experience abortion regret and I am not a rare case. At least one in three women suffers psychological trauma after having an abortion. That is a statistic that pro-choice activists refuse to acknowledge.

This is so common that there are organizations expressly founded to help women cope with abortion regret. Silent No More is a specific charity that is run by pro-life individuals who care as much about mothers who had an abortion, as they do the babies they wish to save. They helped me finally open up about my experiences and encouraged me to write more about what I’ve gone through.

A few years after my abortion, I was working as a veterinary assistant. I’ve always loved animals. They have always been there for me even when people weren’t. It was a hard job, but rewarding. Then one day a cat owner brought in their pet to be spayed. When it was time I found that she was so clearly pregnant that I notified my boss, the vet who owned the clinic. He shrugged it off and said, “They wanted a spay. They’re paying for a spay.”

Another female co-worker and I stood by as the veterinarian surgically removed nearly fully developed kittens from their mother. They were moving and gasping for air, struggling to live. Their hearts were beating. Both of us sat and held the kittens during their short lives. We couldn’t just discard these little creatures. The biggest lived the longest. He made it nine minutes before he died in the warmth of my co-worker’s hands.

She and I cried together. We mourned their deaths and then I carried the mother to a recovery cage. I watched her, remembering how the loss of my baby, and the abortion I allowed, harmed me.

When she awoke this cat screamed. She didn’t moan or yowl like the others after surgery. She cried out in terror. She felt around her belly and searched for her kittens inside her. I sat with her, rubbing her and trying to coax her, but she was inconsolable. She had been robbed of her babies and she knew it. 

I draw parallels here because it reminds me of Ron Paul’s account of why, as a doctor, he opposes abortion. These reasons are not malicious. No one is out to get women, usurp their rights, or “govern their bodies.”

Most of all, women like me do not stop caring about women and babies once a woman gives birth, or even has an abortion. I am now a proud volunteer of Birthright. Birthright does not lobby against abortion. They don’t picket at clinics or take any government money. They don’t vilify women who have abortions either. This wonderful charity was created before abortion was legalized, and it was solely designed to provide support for mothers.

They have free counseling, and pregnancy tests, and will even pay for all medical care if a mother needs it. In addition, Birthright helps low-income women pay their bills, and create a plan to be able to support themselves and their babies if they choose life. Then comes the best part of all, about six weeks before a mother’s due date, Birthright gifts them a baby bundle/layette which is filled with diapers, wipes, clothes, toys, diaper cream, baby shampoo, bottles, pacifiers, and more. As a volunteer, I have the joy of packing these wondrous bags and it is such a happy experience. 

Alongside extremist laws like California’s proposed bill and New York’s liberal abortion law, more and more women are duped by advertising campaigns that lead them to support murder. Pro-choice activists may parrot propagandist lines, and see pro-life advocates as uncaring women, but I hold no ill will toward any woman, especially those who have faced abortion. All I wish is for everyone to consider the entire situation. If abortion is health care, why isn’t seeking other alternatives also considered health care? Better yet, why are pro-choice activists so determined to slander people who love babies?

Because they know deep down that their movement is wrong. They know that the truth is more complex than they wish to believe. They know they are lying to others and themselves. Once you realize that lie and wish to lead an honest life, you stop screaming at opponents and find yourself celebrating life, motherhood, and familial bonds. You find love in life.

Jessica is a homeschooling mother of four. She writes for Evie Magazine and Go 2 Tutors. Her work has been featured by: The Federalist, The Epoch Times, The New American, The St. Louis Post Dispatch, and many more.

Image: Marc Nozell