Desperate times call for desperate measures. For the Democratic Party, these are desperate times indeed. The 2020 presidential election is 15 months away and Democrats have no serious candidate to challenge President Trump.

Instead they have twenty delusional candidates, each trying to out-left each other, to be more “woke” toward the latest social justice grievance.

How else to explain whiter-than-white Kirsten Gillibrand lecturing us on white privilege or the vice-president of the first black president, Joe Biden, being accused of racism by the faux African-American Kamala Harris, who is by nationality is actually half-Indian and half-Jamaican?

Democrats are desperate because the polls don’t augur well for their prospects of winning the White House in 2020. FiveThirtyEight compiled recent polls reflecting head-to-head matchups of Trump versus individual Democrat candidates, with Trump winning most polls.

Rasmussen, the most accurate pollster in predicting the 2016 outcome, has Trump 4 points ahead of Obama at comparable points in their respective presidencies, specifically, Trump at 48 percent total approval on August 2, versus Obama at only 44 percent.

We know who won reelection easily in 2012, against a more competent and sensible candidate, Mitt Romney, than any of the socialists gracing the debate stage last week. Despite his lurch to the land of NeverTrump, Romney had a record of accomplishment and success when he ran in 2012 and lost because someone replaced his spine with a wet noodle.

The Democratic debates thus far would have played better as parody on Saturday Night Live. The reviews were not pretty.

MSNBC host Joe Scarborough called the second night of the first 2020 Democratic debates a “disaster for the Democratic Party” saying that he hoped voters were not watching the face-off, which aired on MSNBC.

Vanity Fair called the clown show a “disaster at the ballot box.” CNN, an integral part of the Democratic Party, didn’t escape criticism. Their coverage of the second round of debates was described as “over the top.”

Desperate times call for desperate measures. What is the hapless donkey party to do? Here are some suggestions from their well-meaning supporters.

Michael Moore, taking a break from singing the praises of the Cuban health care system, has the magic key for the desperate Democrats.

Frankly, I think there is a person that could do this. If the election were held today, there is one person that would crush Trump, and she hasn't announced yet, the filmmaker divined. And her last name rhymes with Obama. In fact, it is Obama — Michelle Obama.

The polar opposite of Michael Moore, Rush Limbaugh, echoed this idea. El Rushbo predicted,

They’ll let these people fight it out, spend all their money, and then when it looks like none of them has a chance of beating Trump, here comes Michelle (My Belle) Obama at the latter moments of the campaign to jump into the fray and save the day for the Democrat Party.

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Mrs. Obama thought as much of this idea as she did of the above selfie moment saying,

Just between us, and the readers of this magazine -- there’s zero chance. There are so many ways to improve this country and build a better world, and I keep doing plenty of them, from working with young people to helping families lead healthier lives. But sitting behind the desk in the Oval Office will never be one of them. It’s just not for me.

Strike one, but no worries. The New York Times' so-called “conservative,” David Brooks, has the answer. Remember when Brooks said this of candidate Barack Obama?

I remember distinctly an image of -- we were sitting on his couches, and I was looking at his pant leg and his perfectly creased pant and I’m thinking, a) he’s going to be president and b) he’ll be a very good president.

Brooks’s answer for the desperate Dems is the real-life elf queen from the Lord of the Rings, Marianne Williamson, ready to Keep America Great using “crystals and bee pollen” as Stephen Colbert quipped.

Brooks wrote in a New York Times op-ed that Williamson, “knows how to beat Trump.” That’s it, then. If not Michelle, then Marianne. No comment from Brooks on Ms. Williamson’s pants crease as that would be verboten in the MeToo world of Brooks and the New York Times.

A CNN panel disagreed however, “bursting into laughter while dismissing Marianne Williamson's odds of winning nomination.” I wonder if this was the same CNN panel guffawing at the prospect of Donald Trump winning the GOP nomination, much less the presidency? They must have missed the Drudge poll post-debate which Williamson won handily.

It seems the Dems are still desperate. If Michelle and Marianne can’t save the day, there is always Michael. As in Avenatti.

According to CNBC, “Michael Avenatti is mulling a run for president again after declaring he would not seek nomination.” Yes, this is the same brilliant barrister who represented Stormy Daniels in her quest to bring down President Trump. And who was charged with stealing from this same client to fund his lavish lifestyle.

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Some at CNN once thought a President Avenatti was a marvelous idea.

“I think President Obama also had a lot of TV star power and that helped him pre-Trump,” Brian Stelter mused with Avenatti by his side earlier last year. “But Trump is more evidence of this. And looking ahead to 2020, one reason I’m taking you seriously as a contender is because of your presence on cable news.”

His colleague Chris Cillizza echoed the same in July with a piece headlined, “President Michael Avenatti? Never say never!”

Never mind the fact that Avenatti has been “indicted on 36 charges of tax dodging, perjury, theft from clients.” That shouldn’t be an impediment for a Democrat. Last year, a Texas House member won reelection from a jail cell.

Michelle, Marianne, and Michael. The three great hopes for a desperate Democratic Party. If not them, there are certainly some Democrat retreads ready to be brought back to life. How about Al Gore, John Kerry, or Howard Dean? Or, of course, Hillary Clinton, if she manages to avoid prison herself.

It’s hard to believe any of the current wacky twenty have a chance against Trump, but with 15 months before the election, much can happen. Democrats will provide endless entertainment as they grasp at electoral straws, even the plastic ones that they want banned. What a show it will be!

Additional graphic credit: xlibber

Brian C. Joondeph, M.D., is a Denver-based physician and freelance writer whose pieces have appeared in American Thinker, Daily Caller, and other publications. Follow him on Facebook,  LinkedIn, Twitter, and QuodVerum.