Over the last few weeks yard signs have been cropping up like crocuses in my very liberal north Seattle neighborhood. The one I am talking about spouts every liberal catchphrase you can imagine. It is almost like Moses coming down from Mount Sinai and scattering his Commandments among the Deplorables. Here is a photo I snapped with my $100 smartphone.

But really, this yard sign is a Testament of Lies. Everything on the sign is a lie; it is a list of bullying lies, non-negotiable demands that liberals want to ram down your throat.

But the one that struck me was the sans-serif extra-bold condensed SCIENCE IS REAL.

No it’s not, liberals, and it just shows how little you know of science that you would think that.

The last chap that thought science was real was Thomas Aquinas. Ever since, we Westerners have been in a complete dither about the real meaning of life, the universe, and everything, and especially reality. First there was Descartes who, like a true Frenchman, could doubt everything except himself: I think therefore I am.

Things went from bad to worse so that when David Hume came along his contribution to the confusion was that we cannot prove cause and effect. So how is science possible?

Enter dear old Kant, who solved the riddle with a cunning trick. We don’t know things-in-themselves, he decided; we only know appearances. Our knowledge, our science, is therefore not real, but a theory about things-in-themselves. And may the best theory win.

This seems pretty lame, but it is not. In my view, it leads straight to Einstein, relativity, and quantum mechanics. If science isn’t real, then it gives us permission to speculate about reality, and dare to propose that Newton’s absolute space and time aren’t real. So space and time are relative, atoms aren’t atomic, and the cunning of quantum mechanics gives us LED flashlights.

Anyway, according to Jonathan Haidt in The Righteous Mind, humans invented reason not to understand the world but to manage their social relations.

[W]e reason to to find the best possible reasons why somebody else ought to join us in our judgment.

How crazy is it that humans would adapt the reason and logic we use to persuade others to our project of building a theory of the world. And it worked.

No, liberals, science isn’t real; Science is Amazing.

Of course, we all know what you liberals are doing with your Testament of Lies. You are practicing your religion of political agitation and you are trying to force non-liberal heretics to shut the heck up. But your enforcers could not have put SCIENCE IS SETTLED on the tablets because that would have been a bridge too far, even for liberal true believers. So SCIENCE IS REAL instead.

But the whole political testament is a crock, starting with BLACK LIVES MATTER at the top and ending up with KINDNESS IS EVERYTHING at the bottom. If black lives matter so much then how come all the convenience stores here in Seattle seem to be run by Middle Easterners, and how come the Dunkin Donuts stores northeast of Philadelphia seem to be run by South Asians? How come blacks never got in on that action? Could it be that liberals don’t think blacks creating decent lives matter, but that only angried-up Black Votes Matter?

And if Kindness were Everything then liberals wouldn’t be starting a Resistance, wouldn’t be demonstrating with pussy hats, wouldn’t be rioting to stop liberal critic Charles Murray from speaking, wouldn’t be trying to destroy President Trump with the Deep State. Because

IN THIS HOUSE, WE BELIEVE:
KINDNESS IS EVERYTHING.

But where is the liberal working hard to smother the Deplorables with kindness?

See what I mean about a Testament of Lies?

It all comes down to a rather simple notion. The religion of political agitation and “issues” that liberals profess is a way to give your life meaning on the cheap. But life isn’t cheap. Want to be a great artist? Even La La Land knows that you’ll have to give up the love of your life. Want to start a business? You’ll never live worry-free again. Get married and start a family? You’ve got twenty years of work and worry ahead of you. In liberal land it’s different: you just pick an issue off the Testament of Lies, get three or four people to join a peaceful protest, get some favorable media coverage, and you can live a life where you never have to worry about delivering the goods or making the payroll. Maybe George Soros will help pay for the protesters.

And when you drive around town in your electric car you don’t have to worry about signaling your turns. Your virtue signalling tells everyone all that they need to know about where you are going.

Christopher Chantrill @chrischantrill runs the go-to site on US government finances, usgovernmentspending.com. Also see his American Manifesto and get his Road to the Middle Class.