Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, fellow congressmen and women, and my fellow citizens. I'm pleased to take up the gavel as your new Majority Leader and Speaker of the House of Representatives. I wish my predecessor all the best as he resumes his duties as a member of the House from Ohio.

We have a new beginning today and I want the American people to know that everything is on the table. And I do mean everything. We have an ambitious term planned. I promise you we will work diligently to accomplish the following:

First, the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, with its new chairman,will conduct a full investigation on the question of President Barack Hussein Obama's eligibility to hold the office of President of the United States.

This is a question that has hung over our republic for four long years, and the American people demand and deserve a clear answer to it. I have personally reviewed the investigative material collected by Sheriff Joe Arpaio and his team of lawyers, detectives and document specialists, and I believe that the incongruities surrounding Obama's birth certificate, selective service records, and social security numbers, must be investigated. I find there is credible evidence that document fraud has occurred and we're going to get to the bottom of it all.

I will ask the Senate to undertake similar investigations and I will ask the Supreme Court for their definition of the term 'natural born citizen' under Section I, Article II of the Constitution. I will also ask the Supreme Court to clarify the definition of 'citizen' under the Fourteenth Amendment. Aliens should not be able to illegally enter our country and claim citizenship for their children born illegally on our soil. The American people deserve clear legal definitions and honest answers to these questions, once and for all. 

Second, the massive voter fraud that has grown in federal elections will be investigated. Any elected official found to have gained his or her office through voter fraud will be removed from office, and that official and their accomplices, whoever they are, will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

Third, entitlement reform is a top priority. We will immediately halt all funding to ObamaCare. The Constitutional issues regarding the law's origins in the Senate instead of the House, and the Democratic Party's use of the budget reconciliation process, instead of a proper vote of both houses of Congress, raise valid questions as to the legality of ObamaCare. We will not fund ObamaCare until these questions are fully answered.

We are going to address the structural and political problems with Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid. We are going to reform them so that we maintain the level of entitlement support that we can afford. We will pursue the massive fraud and waste in these programs and prosecute violators to the fullest extent of the law. No one will be able to claim Social Security disability unless they are truly incapable of working, and only American citizens will be able to claim social security and medical entitlement benefits.

Fourth, we have to insist that the Senate pass a proper budget as required under Article I of our Constitution. Senator Reid has been operating outside of the law in this matter for nearly four years. He has given the President a blank check that precludes Congressional oversight and our proper role in the administration of public funds. In anticipation of Mr. Reid's and the President's refusal to comply with the clear Constitutional requirements, we will ask the Supreme Court to issue a judicial order stating the clear requirement for the Senate to operate with appropriations made by law rather than fiat, and to offer the public a clear accounting of all expenditures.

Fifth, we are shutting down all immigration into the United States for an indefinite time. We will abrogate all immigration and refugee treaties and agreements with the United Nations and foreign governments, and suspend all national immigration programs. We will terminate all programs to resettle refugees from any nation, for any cause or reason. We will erect a border fence with Mexico, evaluate border issues with Canada, and we will prosecute all border violators. Any business that hires an illegal alien in the United States will be shut down and can reopen only after an adjudicatory hearing and after the appropriate fines and penalties have been paid. Any state or local government office found to be employing illegal aliens will be shut down pending hearings. We will pass a new counterfeiting law, with a mandatory ten-year sentence, for the forgery of any identity document.

Sixth, the House will begin a top to bottom review of all federal regulations, laws, rules and associated fees, costs and regulatory burdens. All of them. Every regulatory agency will be audited. Our objective will be to eliminate all obsolete, unnecessary or punitive regulations, rules and laws. We will also seek to reduce personnel in all regulatory agencies by one third over the next five years. We will enact a hiring freeze on all federal agencies, except the military and security agencies.We will outsource mail delivery to the private sector.

Seventh, we will put our nation on a sound fiscal footing. We will immediately produce a balanced budget with a line item for debt service. The objective will be to pay down the sixteen trillion dollars in debt in the next twenty years. Government has produced the national debt and the government has to pay it down out of incoming government receipts. We will propose a law that limits government spending, except in time of war, to a maximum of 20% of GDP

We will propose an overhaul of the tax code to a flat tax. Everyone above the poverty level will pay a flat tax of 12%. There will be no deductions or loopholes. We will eliminate the inheritance tax and all investment taxes. We will eliminate the corporate income tax entirely.

Eighth, we will audit the Federal Reserve Bank. We will also reorganize the Fed so that it reports directly to Congress. We will enact guidelines and regulations so that the Fed can no longer interfere in the national economy by printing money, lending money, or otherwise conduct business outside the purview of its original construction.

Ninth, we will ensure that all Americans have equal protection, rights and justice under the Bill of Rights, and we will start with the establishment and free exercise clauses of the First Amendment. Separation of church and state does not mean courthouses cannot have nativity scenes and Christmas displays. We are going to stop the assault on religious expression by those opposed to it.

And ten, we will purge the government of all unconstitutional administrative and regulatory functions. This means that we will completely close many administrative agencies and boards, including the Department of Education, the National Labor Relations Board, EEOC, HUD and many others. We will purge the government of all rules, regulations, mandates, executive orders, and directives that promote political correctness or multiculturalism. We will eliminate all federal labor unions. Our objective is to restrict the federal government solely to those activities specifically authorized under the Constitution. The eliminated functions may be picked up by those states that wish to do so.

And lastly, and not on our official agenda, I wish to begin a dialogue across the nation about restoring a free and open press to America. We Americans have long recognized that a free press is necessary to the proper functioning of our society and government. We have long been without a free press. Instead, we have been subjected to the indoctrination and influence of a mainstream media that is hostile to our Constitutional republic, to our society and culture, and one that interferes in our political processes.

How we go about achieving a free press is a question that will involve everyone in our society. This is not something the government can dictate to a free people, if we wish to retain our freedom and liberty.

We must protect the First Amendment at all costs. At the same time we must also defend ourselves from seductive media indoctrination that advocates and promotes foreign political philosophies, secular humanism, racism, hatred and division. We've had far too much of this in the last four decades and its poisonous impact on our society can no longer be tolerated by a free people.

I expect that this dialogue in freedom, and much of the work I have just discussed, will take many years. But we will begin the labor to restore our freedoms and liberties in this session of Congress.

I ask for your support and prayers. We cannot restore our government to its proper Constitutional role, and provide for our nation's security and prosperity, without the active support of patriotic Americans. With God's help we will make for ourselves, and our children, a nation fostering freedom, justice and liberty for all. God bless America!

Thank you.

Your New Speaker of the House

JT Hatter is the author of Lost in Zombieland: The Rise of President Zero, a political satire on the Obama administration. JT can be reached at jt@jthatter.com