Obama's way of beating Romney and Ryan has nothing to do with real issues.  It's pure trash-talking and deliberate flipping of the truth: R&R are poopie kids!  Yuck!

Which makes this election about the lowest point in American politics since 1804, when Aaron Burr shot Alexander Hamilton in a duel.  When rational argument disappears, ultimately you get trash-talking, endemic lies, and violence.  This is not open debate.  It is cynical mass manipulation.

All of which brings me to the Great Liberal Fat Crisis, an "epidemic" we are told is worse than the Chicago murder rate, scarier than mad mullahs with nukes, more insidious even than the corrupt media, and more catastrophic than the O'conomy.

If fat is the question, what's the answer?  Michelle Obama thinks the answer is to drive the Chicken McNugget out of business.  Lib politicians always look for scapegoats.  Liberal "thinkers" seem to think fat is the fault of capitalism.

But the starving people of the earth think the real answer is to have more and more wonderful fatty, sugary food.

Gosh, it's so good!

The fat crisis is another neurosis of prosperity.  It runs in the minds of overfed people who worry about their body image.  How do I look in the mirror?  Nancy Pelosi is the living incarnation of adolescent values carried into the seventh decade of life.

But when it comes to fat, I blame liberalism, the source of most of our neuroses today.

Why?

It's very simple.

Q. Why do people get fat?

A. They eat too much.

Q. Why do they eat too much?

A. Because they are lonely, isolated, and emotionally needy.

Q. Who made them lonely, isolated and emotionally needy?

A. Liberalism.

Q. How dat?

A. By attacking marriage, pushing divorce, making the welfare state preferable to husbands and fathers, breaking up the normal lives of children, cobbling up artificial families as if they are the real thing, promoting sexual adventurism, seducing the young into the monoculture of the left, spreading destructive personal values, and above all, by slicing and dicing the American people by race, gender, age, class, and sexual fantasies, while scaring and scaring the masses through the deeply corrupt media.

Q. Oh, yeah?  And what else?

A. By teaching class envy  in the schools and colleges, telling rich innocents there is such a thing as a free lunch, and trashing capitalist democracy, the most benevolent political system ever devised.

Q. How do you know all the mind-twisting has worked?

A. Because Obama has waged the first 100% trash-talking campaign in American history, and half the voters don't seem to notice anything wrong.  They can't tell the difference between political debate and mudslinging.  It is a huge, historic failure.  We have some shockingly bad politicians -- Joe Biden comes to mind -- but what's even worse is that we have badly corrupted voters.

Q. So are liberals the only fat people around?

A. Only between the ears.

No, the rest of us are just as brain-laundered by the Democrat-Media Complex, so that men are afraid to talk to women and children, and vice-versa; whites are afraid to talk with blacks; rich people are afraid to talk to the poor; and above all, conservatives are afraid to talk, period.  Which is what the liberals desire more than anything else, because they live in fear of dissent.

Isolation, loneliness, and divide-and-conquer politics are now so pervasive that conservatives get just as fat as liberals, to make up for lost family and friendships.  In the San Francisco Gay Area, it is difficult for men to be friends with men without gay sex rearing its obsessional image, and the same is true for women and women.  But same-sex friendship, as Emerson said, "is the masterpiece of nature" precisely because sex is left out of it.  Think Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson, a fictional version of the many great and lifelong friendships of the 19^th century.  Friendship was celebrated then, and rightly so.  When everything becomes sexualized, something genuine and real is subtracted from everyday life.

Across the board, liberals have imposed irrational, made-up values for normal, healthy, natural values.  I don't care what they do in the hay.  The trouble is when their personal instability and hunger for novelty are imposed on the rest of us as the sole standard of conduct.  Liberals are imperialists.

If you doubt all that, when is the last time you had a sane conversation with a liberal about politics?

I rest my case.

Liberalism makes you fat.

Remember, a vote for Obama is a vote for fat!