Satire

Six months ago, I returned home to discover that a family had moved into my backyard storage shed.  Displaying an incredible sense of entitlement and off-the-chain arrogance, the family refused to leave, arguing that they were simply seeking a better life.  Adding insult to injury, their TV, computers, etc. were powered by an electrical cord plugged into the exterior outlet of my home.

Infuriated, I immediately sought help from law enforcement to remove the squatters from my property.  After inquiring about the race of my intruders, law enforcement accused me of racism and declined to assist me.  I yelled, "These people are breaking the law!  What about my rights as a property owner?"

The police scolded me: "Don't try to hide your racism behind the law!"

I returned home, frustrated, to witness more of the trespassers' family and friends setting up residency in my backyard.  One invader brought an old piece-of-crap RV.  My Homeowners' Association is fining me daily until it's removed.  There are tents and people living in an old Chevy station wagon -- all powered by a dangerously poor imitation of a MacGyver-style electrical hookup into my power, including a maze of electrical cords.

To stop further invasion, armed buddies volunteered to secure my fence and take turns keeping watch.  Local media caught wind of my buddies' sympathetic and generous offer and branded them an angry mob of racist vigilantes.  Law enforcement threatened my buddies with arrests if they intervened in any way.

With city elections only a few months away, the mayor showed up at my home with fruit baskets for the invaders.  His Honor assured the invaders that he supported their honorable pursuit of a better life 100% and would not tolerate the "racist" property owner (me) evicting them.  After the thunderous applause subsided, the mayor's assistant made sure that each invader filled out a voter registration form, which he collected before the mayor and his entourage departed.

So here I am.  My monthly electric bill has tripled.  Cited for code violations, I was forced to install more outlets and electrical power.  My backyard landscape, with my wife's prize-winning flower garden, is now a mud-pit resembling a scene from the movie Woodstock.  Invaders now occupy every inch of our exterior property.

Local media continually write stories about what a cruel, heartless, evil, and racist SOB I am for not providing food for my "guests" and adding them to my health insurance.

We keep our kids in the house when they return from school.  Our neighborhood has become unsafe; there's drug-dealing and Lord knows what other illegal activities taking place in our backyard.

The Homeowners' Association sent a petition to the city demanding that something be done to stop the invasion spreading all over our community.  In response, the city is suing us.  The local media has joined the city in their effort to portray us as racists who are somehow breaking the law.

Unbelievably, to assist the invaders, the city has raised our taxes to provide bilingual signage throughout our community, not to mention food, education, and health care for our "guests."

Please understand.  Our history of swiftly coming to the aid of people in need around the world confirms that my neighbors and I are a charitable, generous, and compassionate people.  Thus, we wholeheartedly support anyone seeking a better life.

But there is a right and a wrong way of doing things.  An illegal invasion is not the correct way.  It is also immoral to send a message that it is acceptable to break our laws -- a slap in the face to all who play by the rules.

What happened to "equal justice for all"?  Law enforcement and government lending a deaf ear to lawbreakers for political reasons is the worst kind of corruption.  Their motives are not about compassion, but rather securing new voters.  Such self-serving exploitation of power is shameful, despicable, and ugly.  How can my city, with a straight face, instruct kids to obey the law and not sell drugs when the city decides to enforce laws based on their agenda or the race of the offender?

Got to run -- the Spot-O-Potty delivery guys have arrived.  Yes, it is another expense, but it is worth it.

Lloyd Marcus, proud unhyphenated American, is the chairman of The Campaign to Defeat Barack Obama and the spokesperson for the Tea Party Express.  Please help Lloyd spread his message by joining his Liberty Network.  Lloyd is singer/songwriter of the American Tea Party Anthem and author of Confessions of a Black Conservative, foreword by Michelle Malkin.  LloydMarcus.com