PrintSeptember 10, 2009
I Volunteer to be the Normal American Czar
I have been accused of being one of those bitter clinging, knuckle dragging, mouth breathing, flyover dwelling types who wouldn't give President Barack Hussein Obama the benefit of the doubt if my life depended on it. Some of my friends on the Left think I'm just out to get him, to destroy his political career and send him back to Chicago to inspire a sense of victimhood in the residents of poor neighborhoods.
That's not true, of course, but just to prove it, I'm going to make a controversial proposal. By doing so, I realize that I risk incurring the wrath of those who are fed up with Obama's habit of hiring unaccountable "special advisors." I share your confusion over the need to have these characters on the payroll. Why do we need a "health czar" Nancy DeParle when we have a perfectly good (as good as can be expected under the circumstances) Secretary of Health and Human Services, Kathleen Sebelius? Then there's the "Great Lakes Czar," Cameron Davis. "How did the republic survive without someone in this important position?" you ask sarcastically. I agree, but my idea is different. In the interest of reaching out to President Obama and creating that elusive new tone in Washington, I want to offer my services as the Normal American Czar.
Think about it. Consider the case of the midnight moving Van, Mr. Jones, the former "green jobs" czar. That's another obviously essential position, if by "essential," you are using the word in the same way that Michelle Obama's erstwhile hospital employer did when it gave her an ~$200,000 raise coinciding with the $1 million earmark her husband obtained for the institution. That was before the "essential" position was eliminated right after Barack Obama got elected president. I know what some of you are thinking. It was a coincidence, ok? Any of you who question the timing of those events are probably closet birthers.
After Jones, no doubt to the extreme disappointment of Marxists, race baiters and belligerent Birkenstock clad eco-terrorists, did the vanishing act in the wee hours (not to be confused with the wee weed hours) over the holiday weekend, the consensus among the brainiac former newsreaders who in this age of mediocrity pass as "analysts" was that the death blow to Jones' czardom was the discovery that he had signed one of those insane 9/11 truther petitions, or that his name was on it. He has NO idea how it got there, or he had NO idea what he was signing.
Frankly, I've lost interest in his lame explanations, but I'm glad that these conspiracy-loving types have found another cause. That whole hovering-black-helicopters-controlled-by-the-Free-Masons thing was pretty played out. In any case, this revelation that he was involved with these "truthers", apparently, was the last straw, or perhaps I should say the only straw, since you didn't hear a peep out of any of these alleged vigilant watch dogs, dedicated to keeping government honest about some of the other, shall we say, potential concerns about Mr. Jones; specifically, the following:
- Self-proclaimed Communist and "rowdy black nationalist"
- Defender of Cop Killer Mumia Abu Jamal
- Race-Obsessed Cauldron of Rage
- Anti-American Parrot of Hackneyed Left-wing clichés about "imperialism," "occupation" and similarly predictable drivel
But it was the "truther" thing that was a bridge too far? That's like pointing out that John Wilkes Booth didn't pay for his ticket to the theatre that night.
It's troubling, but not unexpected, that the stenographers in the traditional media failed notice the red -- and I do mean red -- flags that this Jones character raised. More troubling, but unfortunately, no more unexpected, is that no one in the Obama administration seemed to have noticed. Of course they didn't! No one in this administration, not Barack Obama, not Valerie Jarrett, not Rahm Emanuel, or any of their apparatchiks sees anything wrong with being a communist, being anti-American, or sharing the views that Bill Ayers and Jeremiah Wright have of racist Amerika.
So, I offer to serve as the Normal American Czar, an interpreter of sorts, the common sense goggles on their arrogant, elitist, mugs that enable them to see through the fog of the Marxist bubble they live in. I will help the Obama administration see their policies and their appointees as average Americans see them. The cost will be minimal. I won't need any fancy questionnaire or complicated vetting process to root out the communists, corrupt officials, and criminals. I'll just use Google and my well-calibrated B.S. detector.
Sure, there's a risk I might say something state schooley once in a while, since like most Americans I did not attend an Ivy League college, but the benefits will be enormous, if not for the administration, for our country.
Teri O'Brien is an author, speaker and host of The Teri O'Brien Show, Sundays 2-3:30 pm Central time, and on demand from iTunes.
