If Obama Were My Friend

I am a Latino, as you may be able to tell from my name. You know; one who is constantly being harassed by the police and frequently getting stopped for dubious traffic violations because of his race. Generally I am also treated as a substandard human being by conservative politicians. At least that's what Obama appears to want everyone like me -- and darker than me -- to believe.

If you are surprised to hear that I am not a friend of Obama, one could argue that your consternation betrays a strand of racial profiling in your thinking. Be that as it may, I can not be a friend of a man who has been so thoroughly brainwashed by the liberal elite about how everything is supposed to be about race.

Yet in a way I wish I were a friend of his; or better put: I wish Obama were my friend.

Like his friend the Harvard Professor who recently got arrested for disorderly conduct, or the Latino Judge he recently nominated for the Supreme Court. They can both count on Obama's unconditional support. So imagine what I could do -- not to mention get away with -- if Obama were a friend of mine.

For starters, I could look smart in front of the media by defending my president, even after he decides its ok to render a judgment soon after declaring that he knows very little -- if nothing -- about the facts of a particular case, other than that the aggrieved party is a personal friend of his.

It seems lately that Obama has been using a similar criterion on anything ranging from what the real solution to the Health Care crisis is, to his extemporaneous comments on the arrest of an esteemed Harvard Professor.  And really, who would dare to question the judgment of our first African American President. But I digress.

If Obama were my friend, I could demean a police officer for meddling, i.e. trying to inquire, about a possible crime in progress in my neighborhood, which was reported by one of my own watchful neighbors (probably also a racist).

I could break into someone else's house anytime I want to without having anybody breathing over my shoulder, asking me if I actually lived in the house. Nobody has the right to stop me if it looks like I'm am breaking and entering a private property without proof, like, say, me running out of the same house with blood splattered hands or something. That's racism.

I could insult a police officer's mother if he makes me feel the least uneasy about my rather unorthodox manner of entering my own residence, or my belligerent tone. I have rights you know; and what officer has the right to arrest any Latino man for raising his voice? It's in my blood!

To take it into another sphere of my woeful existence as a victim of a racially oppressive system, I could definitely demand that I get special treatment at work because of the color of my skin. If my employer does not want to abide by my rules, hey, I just pick up the phone and call my friend Obama to put a little pressure on them. Call it a new era of responsibility.

I could demand that the poor results of a test I take to get a promotion be ignored, and given a pass since I was not able to score as high as my lighter skinned counterparts. At least that's what Judge Sotomayor -- a fellow Latina and Obama Supreme Court appointee I might add -- decreed until those racist firefighters demanded some justice.

I could even probably run for some kind of political office, since I can count on a ready made, and ever growing contingency of my racial peers that is willing to cast their vote based solely on the fact that I am Hispanic.

Doubtless those are the best kind of voters, since it is very difficult for them to get past the established fact of my ethnic origin. And as you all well know, the latter happens to endow me with a rather unique brand of wisdom that is unavailable to those with lighter skin.

So I am in a bit of a predicament. Since for Obama to be my friend would require that I adopt a very different perspective than the one I hold today.

You see, I happen to believe that a police officer should have the right to at least ask me for some identification if it appears that I am breaking into that which he or she is not entirely sure is my place of residence. And I believe that I don't have the right to insult this police officer without some repercussions, simply because I happen to be a professor at a very prestigious university. Some could argue that is what's called preferential treatment

I also think that people should try to hold off judgment before hearing all the facts, even if you are the President of the United States. Others could argue that is what's called prior judgment based on a personal bias.

And I also believe that racism is not only perpetrated by whites against blacks, but that blacks,  Latinos, Chinese, and other races, can also be vigorous perpetrators of racism, even against those of their own race. You could say that racism is an equal opportunity trait.

And finally I believe that harmony, in spite of our many differences, will never be achieved by alleging that every action which may at first seem an unjust action is always necessarily motivated by racism. And that is why Obama will probably never be my friend.

But I assure you that personally I am not offended. Obama, like everyone else, has the right to pick who he wants for his friends. And I am pretty sure that the reason he won't like me has nothing to do with the color of my skin.
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