February 23, 2009
Primates Fear Backlash
A 55-year-old woman was allegedly assaulted by her friend's roommate Wednesday. Doctors listed Charla Nash's condition as critical.
The alleged assault occurred shortly after Nash entered the residence of her friend, Sandra Herold. Herold's roommate, Travis, allegedly confronted Nash shortly after she entered the residence. The nature of the disagreement is uncertain, but the confrontation quickly escalated, according to police.
Police were called to the scene and, in the ensuing conflagration, shot Travis. Travis suffered fatal wounds and was later declared dead by medics at the scene.
Police refused to identify the race, ethnicity or species of Travis. The motive is under investigation, according to a police spokesman. However, a spokesman for CAAR (Congress for American-Ape Relations) feared an unwarranted anti-ape backlash.
"I fear that many people not familiar with the primate culture will use this incident as an excuse to further alienate and demonize the primate community," said Moko Zimbabwe, CAAR spokeswoman. "It is important that the upright-walking ape community understand that this is an isolated incident and that we should not rush to judgment until all the facts are in," she added.
While police are not yet categorizing the assault as a hate-crime, sources at the scene describe aspects of the assault as not unlike those of fundamentalist primates.
Primate expert, Noam Chimpsky, observed that, "this is not completely unusual in the more conservative enclaves of primate society."
Several citizens were held behind police barricades, protesting the extreme response of the police.
"They just showed up and shot Travis dead," said Missy Teethie, a neighbor. "They didn't even talk to him or offer him a banana or nothing. They just shoot, shoot, shoot. I know Ms Herold and she is a nice woman and her Travis was always nice to her, too."
Chief of Police, Rod Blagoranutan, said that while the police at the scene appeared to have followed appropriate procedures, "I am ordering a complete investigation of this incident to make sure all actions taken were appropriate and within the guidelines of established policy."
When contacted by reporters, Koko, a primate familiar with Travis's fundamentalist faction of the primate community, signed that she would like an orange.
To comment on this or any other American Thinker article or blog, you must be a subscriber to our ad-free service. Login to your subscription to access the comments section. You can subscribe on a monthly basis for $6.79 a month or for a year at $69.99
Login
Subscribe / Change PwdAd Free / Commenting Login
FOLLOW US ON
Recent Articles
- No, Trump Does Not Have to Abide by a Mythical 'Judicial Supremacy'
- Rush Was Right About Illegal Immigration
- The President's Trap
- Theories of Knowledge and the Media
- Tucker Carlson Needs Help
- Gaza Gaza Gaza
- Is Stargate a Gateway to the Digital Gulag?
- After USAID, America Will Never Be the Same
- The Debt Ceiling: Trump's Next Target?
- Trump FTC Must Stop Biden’s Prescription Drug Madness
Blog Posts
- Finding value that others ignore is Donald Trump’s superpower
- Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport: Where Convenience Trumps Safety
- City council of Worcester, MA votes to become an LGBTQ++ ‘sanctuary city’
- ‘Green’ politician vying for Germany’s chancellorship makes a ridiculous spectacle trying to christen a new ship with ‘safe’ contraption
- How much power does Elon Musk have?
- When it takes 12 days to get your mail...
- Are the Gazans tired of winning yet?
- Melting down over DOGE
- Massive fraud is exposed by Musk and Trump and the left is furiously melting down! Does this not reveal their consciousness of guilt?
- Our Conservative Climate Caucus
- Will POTUS be happy with SCOTUS?
- Why do we treat murdering a pregnant woman differently from abortion?
- Learning about Abe
- Liz Cheney’s never-ending farewell tour: now featuring JD Vance
- Does President Trump have to come over there to Los Angeles, again?