Gloria in Excelsis, Jimmy (a poem)

I AM  THE Jimmy Carter.

            My initials are "J.C."

And because thou art blessed              

            to be reading my press -        

            you know what to fashion of ME.   


Dómine Deus, Rex caeléstis,

            Deus Pater omnípotens,

[Despite that my dad was Jim Earl,

            and bro' Billy, truly my kin].


I AM  THE Jimmy Carter,

            and my initials, they are "J.C."

But if a Messiah comes callin',

            though it may seem to you quite appallin',

            close your ears (but still listen to ME).   


I'm the saintly-American-Democrat,

            with gossamer morals refined;             

They're always on display for you,    

            in deepest pantomime. 


I AM  YOUR officious ex-President,             

            the buzz of international scenes.          

Certainement!  I'm the consummate meddler, 

            the high priest of good-motives peddlers        

            (and wizard of Conservatives' screams).


For I AM the conscience of the globe

            [Move over master-of-the-planet].

I shine my light on Republican flaws -

            in English and in Spanish.


Ahh!,... this Bush Number Two - what a dullard.

            That's simple and plain as can be, 

Why its clear "this administration['s],"

            "adverse impact on the nation,"

            "has been the worst in [all] history."[i]


I've told the whole world he's a loser,

            just like my good friend Harry Reid,

and my darling daughter Pelosi

            who rides on Cruella's dark steed.


I've told the whole world that he's bush-league,

            and my buddy George Soros agrees -           

He buys Internet swords                                            

            for the MoveOn.orgs                                                   

            which castrate your values for free.


George Bush is the "radical departure"         

            who dragged the U. S. to its grief. 

"Though our...security[‘s] not directly threatened,"[ii]

            by the One-World-Under-Islam motif.[iii]


Yes, I'm the ideological Left's churchman;    

            far superior to red-state Bill Graham.              

I'm a notably unctuous faux-Christian,

            with good motives and higher intentions - 

            and none are more relevant than I AM.   


I'm a nuclear engineer from Annapolis,

            a peanut farmer from Plains;

And because I've experienced globe-trotting,

            World Force One should be my domain.


For I alone am THE Carter.

            I alone AM most high.

I alone problem solving,         

            Venezuela to Zion revolving,  

            Mid-East to downtown Versailles.     


I AM the redeeming envoy,

            liberatin' mediator supreme.

Quintessential Mid-East savior.           

            (I even walk through streams).


Hamas, Hezbollah, I can dine with,

            Palestinians another delight;

But Meir, Sharon,

            Menachem Begin!

            Oh MYSELF, Oh, J.C., what a fright.


Kim Il Sung, Michael Moore, Hugo Chavez,

            are all friends whom I never could slight.     

Arafat, Milosovic, Joey Tito,  

            More old friends who love human rights.


Omniscient, I know I have critics:   

            worldly mammon tales re BCCI,[iv]

Long links to sheiky Arab business,  

            election nanny, and rabbit dementia,   

            but to you, "I will never lie."


So, disregard my hyper inflation,

            my 20-percent interest rates,[v]

Dow-Jones below 1,000,[vi]

            In Iran, U. S. hostages' fates. 


North Korea's Stalinist tyrant, 

            "that vigorous and intelligent man,"[vii]

Ignore Nic'raguan Sandinistas, 

            and my panting after Nobel[viii] baristas,

            because you know just what I AM


I AM  THE Jimmy Carter.

            My initials are "J.C."

And because thou art blessed              

            to be reading my press....



[i]  In a May 19, 2007 interview in the Arkansas Post-Gazette, former 39th U. S. President (1977-81) Jimmy Carter made the following statement regarding current U. S. President George W. Bush, "I think as far as the adverse impact on the nation around the world, this administration has been the worst in history."  [Emphasis added.]

    Regarding the Iraqi front in the West's War on Terror, Mr. Carter said, "the ill-advised policies of President Bush in Iraq have been a major tragedy for the world"; he then castigated British Prime Minister Blair's support for that intervention and attempt to create a democracy as, "Abominable. Loyal. Blind. Apparently subservient."

[ii]  In the same May 19, 2007 interview in the Arkansas Post-Gazette, former President Carter made this statement, "We now have endorsed the concept of pre-emptive war where we go to war with another nation militarily, even though our own security is not directly threatened, if we want to change the regime there or if we fear that some time in the future our security might be endangered."  [Emphasis added.]

[iii]  "According to Muslim teaching, jih膩d is one of the basic commandments of the faith, an obligation imposed on all Muslims by God, through revelation....  The basis of the obligation of jih膩d is the universality of the Muslim revelation.  God's word and God's message are for all mankind; it is the duty of those who have accepted them to strive (j膩hada) unceasingly to convert or at least subjugate those who have not.  This obligation is without limit of time or space.  It must continue until the whole world has either accepted the Islamic faith or submitted to the power of the Islamic state.

    "Until this happens, the world is divided into two: the House of Islam (d膩r al-Isl膩m), where Muslims rule and the law of Islam prevails; and the House of War (d膩r al-Harb), comprising the rest of the world.  Between the two there is a morally necessary, legally and religiously obligatory state of war, until the final and inevitable triumph of Islam over unbelief."  Bernard Lewis, The Political Language of Islam (1988),  p. 73.
                ....
    "This accords with the well-known Muslim doctrine that every infant has an inborn disposition to be a Muslim, but his parents may make him a Jew or a Christian or a Zoroastrian.  The advance of Muslim power is thus an opening [fut奴h] or a liberation, to give free scope to this divinely implanted propensity."  Ibid, p. 94.
                ....
    "The unsubjugated unbeliever is by definition an enemy." ....[The unsubjugated unbeliever ] "is part of the D膩r al-Harb, ‘the House of War' and is designated as a harb墨, an attributive form of the word for war."  Ibid, p. 77-84.

[iv]  "To understand what feeds former president Jimmy Carter's anti-Israeli frenzy, look at his early links to Arab business," wrote Rachel Ehrenfeld in, "Carter's Arab Financiers," The Washington Times, December 21, 2006, online here.  Ms. Ehrenfield's article provides a peek into Mr. Carter's ties to Pakistani financier, Agha Hasan Abedi, founder of BCCI ("known as ‘the bank that would bribe God'"), the Saudi royal family, and others with anti-American and radical Islamic agendas.

[v]  See Steven F. Hayward's book on former President Carter, The Real Jimmy Carter: How Our Worst Ex-President Undermines American Foreign Policy, Coddles Dictators, and Created the Party of Clinton and Kerry (2004).

[vi]  See, "Carter Takes the Prize Among the Worst Presidents," Bloomberg News, May 20, 2007, by Amity Shlaes, online here.

[vii]  "When President Clinton first learned of the North Korean nuclear program in 1994, a surgical strike against its Yongbyong reactor might have sufficed to send Pyongyang a message that a nuclear North Korea was unacceptable.

Instead, Clinton allowed Jimmy Carter to engage in some private foreign policy and jet off to the last Stalinist regime on earth to broker a deal whereby North Korea would promise to forgo a nuclear weapons program in exchange for a basket of goodies that included oil, fool and, amazingly, nuclear technology.

   "Along the way, Carter praised North Korea's mass-murdering dictator as a ‘vigorous and intelligent man.' And of North Korea itself, Carter said of this habitat for inhumanity: ‘I don't see they are an outlaw nation.'"  See, "Look Who's Talking," Investor's Business Daily, May 21, 2007, online here.

[viii]  "Carter panted after the Nobel Peace Prize for years, seeing it as a means of gaining official redemption for his humiliation at the hands of the voters in 1980. He lobbied quietly behind the scenes for years to get the prize, and finally met with success in 2002 when the left-wing Nobel Prize committee saw an opportunity to use Carter as a way of attacking President Bush and embarrassing the United States. The head of the Nobel Prize committee openly admitted that this was their motivation in selecting Carter. Any other ex-president would have refused to be a part of such an obvious anti-American intrigue, but not Jimmy."  Steven Hayward, the F.K. Weyerhaeuser Fellow at the American Enterprise Institute and Senior Fellow at the Pacific Research Institute, quoted in a May 6, 2004 interview with Jamie Glazov in "The Worst Ex-President," FrontPageMagazine.com.
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