The Islamic Caliphate  is coming. Their version of the One World (Umma),  gilded with Islamic symbols, is ready for prime time. It's going to get very weird.  Just remember, Jesus got here first, courtesy of Abraham and Moses, and that's our side. 

Our side is your side, even if you think it's not.  Our side is freedom: religious, civil, and economic.  We celebrate Creator—based freedom on the Fourth of July, civil freedom on Veteran's Day, and economic—based freedom on Super Bowl Sunday, our market—created national party day. 

In fact, on Super Bowl Sunday, we invite the entire world to join our side, to celebrate American Pigskin.

Jihadanomics: Global Jihad, Phase Two

The next Caliphate has begun buying into the great learning institutions of the world.  After Jihadis struck our national symbols on 9/11, the Caliphs declared themselves allies in the War on Terror, investing  in Harvard University and Georgetown University to the tune of 20 million dollars each.  They just added  Johns Hopkins' School of Advanced Strategic Studies (SAIS) to the list, and in the name of cross—cultural 'understanding' and 'inter—faith' tolerance, are subsidizing our leading educational institutions to promote 'modernity' in Islam.

Sounds promising?

On December 28, 2005, a terrorist gunman opened—fire on five prestigious scientists at the Indian Institute of Science in Bangalore, India, the new Silicon Valley.  Dr. M.C. Puri, Professor Emeritus of Mathematics, was brutally assassinated and four others injured, including Vijay Chandru, the founder of the Indian—developed palm—computer, the Simputer.  Moreover, Bangalore boasts some 1,500 tech companies, 200,000 employees, accounting for 40% of India's IT revenues.  It is a major center for high—tech research and development for corporate giants such as Microsoft, Intel, GE, GM, Motorola, Cisco, and Google. 

Welcome to Jihadanomics —— the question is not just who killed Dr. Puri, the question is why?

Is Pigskin Next?

There was an ancient war over the pig.  Jews and Christians worked it out, allowing each group their own pig views.  After settling the pig matter, Judeo—Christianity reconciled the separation of Church and State, giving birth to the Grand Renaissance, the Reformation, the Enlightenment, and the founding of America, where religious freedom gave rise to civil liberties and economic freedom.

Islam rejects religious freedom, and still prohibits pigs, even more than 300 years after their (second) truce at the gates of Vienna on September 11, 1683.  In fact, there is a permanent Jihad ('Holy War') against all that is non—Muslim, in order to establish Islamic law of Shari'a throughout the world.  This Islamic government, dating back to the 7th Century, rejects your right to religious freedom, your right to exist as a non—Muslim if push comes to shove, any and all civil freedoms, and, of course, Israel's right to exist. 

We generally call this sort of system totalitarianism.

According to Islamic tradition, all non—Muslims are pigs, though Jews are pigs and dogs.  When 'The Three Little Pigs' was banned from storytime in England last year, pig alerts went hog wild across cyberspace:  Hide your piggy banks!  Is Porky next?  Babe needs Witness Protection!  What about Miss Piggy's dream of a normal marriage, affirming 'piglet' has a right to exist, like Israel?  

More importantly, if pigs are on the chopping block, what is gonna happen to football when they hear about Pigskin?!

Jihad never sleeps

We thought we could work out this religious freedom issue 'in dialogue' with diplomats and theologians.  We thought that with 'understanding' we could make it work, but little things keep happening, like the killing of Dutch filmmaker Theo Van Gogh who was shot eight times, slit at the throat, and stabbed with two knives, one pinning a 5—page Jihadi threat to his chest.  The murderer reassures us that the Prophet Mohammed justifies his act.

Then, there were those attacks on Russian children, British bus bombings, French car burnings, decapitations of little Christian girls in Indonesia — did they have to dump their little heads? Synagogues —— and churches —— have been destroyed in Palestine, where Christians are about to be charged a poll tax (jizya).  On Christmas Eve, 28 bombs were defused in Indonesia, while only 18 exploded in seven cities, reportedly killing at least 14, and injuring nearly 100.

The AK—56 assassination of Dr. Puri ushers in the new era of 'understanding' modern Islam.  Colleges and universities, especially Islamic—friendly institutions (Georgetown, Harvard, SAIS), are on edge.  The Antique Media is just catching up with the freedom of speech issues surrounding the Islamist bomb threats in Denmark for 12 political cartoons, but the lingering question remains: 

Who killed Dr. Puri — and why?

Islam (nee Mohammedism) — The 'Eternal Word' Problem

The Islamic Caliphate is not like the Vatican.  They are new to problem—solving. They have no mechanism to renounce Jihad, nor to render pig—headedness obsolete.  Islam believes, or would have us believe they believe, that the Quran is the 'Eternal Word' of Allah.  Because it is not Mohammed's word, nor is it written according to Mohammed, there is no likelihood of theologians guiding their 'religion' into the 21st Century with debate, reformation, excommunication, or reinterpretation (ijtehad).   In Islam, the 'Final Perfection' is achieved by man alone —— with the help of the sword, of course.

Not so long ago, Islam was called Mohammedism, after the military strategist and Prophet Mohammed, whose followers, Mohammedans, attempted to conquer other civilizations, not once, but twice — and now, a third time.  In fact, according to Dante's Inferno, the 14th Century poetic masterpiece, Mohammed is condemned to the 8th circle of Hell, as a 'sower of schism' for having inflicted centuries of war on civilization. 

The Caliphate has both the power and means to establish 'modernity' in Islam, to put an end to Jihad, but refuses the challenge.  Who is dictating to Hamas?  Why is CAIR refusing to denounce Hamas?  Who is fueling Iran?  Who is funding Hezbollah?  Who is funding Muslim Brotherhood? Who is funding the madrasses?   Who issued the fatwas against the Danish troops?  Who killed Dr. Puri —— with an AK—56 —— and why?

We are left to conclude that Dante is right.  Mohammedism is stalled in the 7th Century, where it began, and Mohammed cannot move on.

Pluralism — Multiple Realities

Pluralism is the new code word meant to invite Islam into the 21st Century, but pluralism is different from religious freedom.  Pluralism is a concept that advances the idea of multiple realities, to offer Islam a place among world religions, despite its well publicized and longstanding practices of cutting off hands, raping and assaulting women, brutally torturing and killing homosexuals, issuing fatwas against apostates —— and banishing pigs.

Jihad succeeds in the mainstream media, working in tandem with public relations firms and foundations that promote Islam as the peaceful religion, notwithstanding its historic cry 'Kill the Infidel!' that makes murder a holy act.  Moreover, their practices of taqiyya (deception) and kitman (concealment of intentions) — 'holy hypocrisy' — are not sanctioned by any other world religion.

On Easter Sunday, 2005, Meet the Press moderator, Tim Russert, welcomed  Islamist media personality Reza Aslan to represent the 'faith' of 'Islam' on the panel discussion of 'religion in America.'  The 'inter—faith' discussion proceeded as if the new 'moderate' Islamic reformation were already under way. If so, one might have asked whether Saudi Arabia or United Arab Emirates is leading the reform movement. Is there a doctrine that guarantees religious freedom? Who is their 'Martin Luther'? Is there a 'Henry VIII' who limits the practice of decapitation to only two wives?   What, if any, are the Islamic new and improved pig views?

Eight months later, Mr. Aslan's essay 'A Coming Islamic Reformation,' confirms that there is no Reformation, that

'in 100 years, after the memory of 9/11 has receded, and the War on Terror is a somber chapter in our nation's history, we may look back on Bin Laden as a murderous criminal, but as one of the principal figures of an era that scholars are increasingly referring to as the Islamic Reformation.' 

Osama bin Laden —— the principal figure of the Islamic Reformation?

Yes, of course, Osama bin Laden is just like Martin Luther.  Islam is just like Christianity.  In fact, Jihad is no longer driven by the 'Eternal Word' of Allah, Jihad is now driven by radical individualism, and the Jihadis are fundamentalists now.  And just to prove how similar Islam is to Christianity, Mr. Aslan's own name is that of the Christian Lion — Aslan —— in C.S. Lewis' The Chronicles of Narnia, also recently the #1 movie at the box office.

This is so cool.  

The antique media were even bamboozled by 16—year—old Farris Hassan,  whose (lack of) enrollment in the 'immersion journalism' course at Pine Crest School in Fort Lauderdale required a field trip to Iraq.  Hassan's itinerary to Amsterdam, Kuwait City, and Beirut,  tipped off Homeland Security to his father's (Dr. Redha Hassan, aka Redha K. Alsawaf) terrorist links to Hezbollah. 

'The Islamic Empire of Faith'

Jihad rages across five continents to subdue Western, Hindu, Buddhist, and Chinese civilizations, forging truces (hudnas) to regroup and attack again. Jihadis wage war, even among themselves, to control their schools (madrasses) throughout the Middle East, Central Asia, and Africa.  

The Caliphate, meanwhile, enjoys the benefits of free enterprise, while mullahs profess to respect the rule of law. Antique media elites make politically correct fools of themselves, while professors and scientists endure threats and intimidation.  The Danes defend free speech, and Israel faces threats of imminent destruction, while Iran, Hamas, Fatah, and Hezbollah rant and rage. America and her allies attempt to bridge values with traditional Muslims, while other regimes and governments —— the usual suspects — play switch and bait, implementing strategies to benefit their own Jihadamonics.

'The Islamic Empire of Faith' gallops forward demographically, while Westerners march to extinction by our own destabilization of marriage, self—negating birthrate, and abortion—on—demand. 

Welcome to America, even if you hate us

Jihadis have forgotten that the people of good will are also the people of free will.  Our ancestors fought for freedom of religion and the rule of law.  We know that a religion that rejects freedom of religion is not a religion.  We know that a religion that rejects the right to exist, the full dignity of womanhood, and Israel's right to exist is not a religion.  

Pope Benedict XVI implicitly weighed in on Islam recently, addressing those 'responsible for the life of nations' by demanding religious freedom for all. With the wisdom of the ages and the poetry of the saints, the Holy Father challenged the Caliphate, calling them to task for their 1400 years of trickery: 'If you do not fear truth, you need not fear freedom.'

Treachery — The 9th Circle of Hell

Dante, the Medieval allegorical poet, saw Mohammed condemned to the 8th circle of hell, sliced, split, and disemboweled from his groin through to the top of his head, entwined with his cousin and son—in—law, whose assasination led to the Muslim schism into Shi'a and Sunni.  In fact, in his poetic vision, Dante understood the nature of man and the course of history, such that he conceived yet another deeper circle of hell —— the 9th — for those who practice treachery. The 9th circle giants of treachery are eternally eaten —— by Lucifer himself.

Ya gotta ask yourself one question, do you feel lucky?  Well, do ya, punk?

Treachery is a violation of faith, known as treason. Dante depicted layers of treachery against family, country, friends — and religion.  The diabolical killing of Theo Van Gogh, like the Danish fatwas, violates freedom of artistic expression.  The decapitation and dumping of the heads of little Christian Indonesian girls violates all humanity, revealing evil, heinous, disgusting, and repulsive aspects. The assassination of Dr. Puri violates all academic, cultural, and religious codes.

Mr. Caliphate, Tear down that Jihad

Jihad is not a 'culture of death' to their way of life.  Jihad is a 'culture of death' to our way of life.  The choice is clear.  Live by freedom.  Or die by dhimmitude.

Just remember, our side is Pigskin, and our day is Super Bowl Sunday.  Freedom reigns. Truth prevails. Pigskin rules.

Babe, step into the sunlight.  Miss Piggy, buy your wedding gown.  Porky, you get the 50—yard line.  Celebrate —— our freedom —— as America's favorite capitalist pigs!

Kate Wright is an American.