As you may know, those big, bad, wascally Republicans have long been stealing elections with a sleight—of—hand that would do Boss Tweed proud.  It has gotten so bad that George Bush actually vanquished profoundly intellectual, eminently virtuous, truly great Americans like Al Gore and John Kerry in successive national elections.  Can you imagine that?  Why, since the inestimable character and acumen of these gentlemen could never fail to awe and inspire a majority of our countrymen, there must be subterfuge.  Or, so the proverbial 'they' say. 

But according to the most comprehensive and authoritative study ever conducted of the 2004 election, this view is more than just inaccurate. 

It is exactly the opposite of the truth.  

The organization that released the 368—page report, the American Center for Voting Rights Legislative Fund (ACVR Legislative Fund), found that, contrary to media spin,

'...paid Democrat operatives were far more involved in voter intimidation and suppression activities than were their Republican counterparts during the 2004 presidential election.' 

Well, surprise, surprise.  To echo the sentiments in my last piece, the Democratic National Committee's headquarters must be a glass house.

Some of the conclusions in the report accord with allegations long made by many Republicans, such as

'...illegal votes cast and a coordinated effort by members of certain 'nonpartisan' organizations to rig the election system through voter registration fraud in more than a dozen states.' 

Examples include,

'....a law enforcement task force finding 'clear evidence of fraud in the Nov. 2 election in Milwaukee,' including hundreds of felon and double voters and thousands more ballots cast than voters recorded as having voted in the city and multiple indictments and convictions of ACORN [Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now] workers for voter registration fraud in several states.'

Identifying Milwaukee, Wi. as one of five election fraud 'hot spots,' it was also determined that paid Democrat operatives in that city were charged with slashing the tires of Republican get—out—the—vote vans.

By the way, Kerry 'won' Wisconsin by a mere 11,000 'votes.'

While reading the report, it occurred to me that the never—ending Democrat barrage of vote—fraud accusations is rarely attributable to anything but projection.  For instance, Democrats have sometimes claimed that Republican operatives would call voters in minority neighborhoods and tell them an incorrect date for the election.  However, while the researchers found no evidence of this, they did find that there was,

'...an Ohio court order stopping Democrat operatives from calling voters telling them the wrong date for the election and faulty polling place information.'

Then there's Florida, the land ruled by that feudal lord Jeb Bush, whose machinations could always ensure that the Sunshine State would be delivered into his brother's covetous hands.  But while that's the myth, the reality is that Democrat hands were by far the dirtier. 

Among other things, the report found evidence of,

'Intimidating and deceiving mailings and telephone calls paid for by the DNC threatening Republican volunteers in Florida with legal action.' 

It also discovered a

'Union—coordinated intimidation and violence campaign targeting Republican campaign offices and volunteers resulting in a broken arm for a GOP volunteer in Florida.'

Most tellingly, we learn that a

'Former ACORN worker said there was 'a lot of fraud committed' by [the] group in Florida, as ACORN workers submitted thousands of fraudulent registrations in a dozen states across the country, resulting in a statewide investigation of the group in Florida and multiple indictments and convictions of ACORN/Project Vote workers for voter registration fraud in several states.' 

And this is just a sampling of the legion of Democrat campaign transgressions revealed in the report. 

Not surprisingly, many are accusing the ACVR Legislative Fund of shilling for Republicans.  But while I think the well—documented incidents presented in the report speak for themselves, such revelations are at best secondary to me.  This is because I have long known that the Democrats wrote the book on vote fraud, and I'm going to tell you why.

Having been born near and bred in New York City, it could not escape my notice that the areas with the highest crime rates — the inner cities — are almost exclusively the domain of the Democratic Party.  Now, since vote—fraud is a crime, does anyone think it unreasonable to assume that it also would be far more prevalent in these places?  Would it be logical to think that in an area in which rape, murder, theft, drug—dealing and virtually all other manner and form of criminality are far more common than normal, vote—fraud would be the one crime that somehow, some way wouldn't be more common?

Then, when crime is at issue, there's always the matter of means, motive and opportunity.  As for the first two, there's probably parity between the parties, but opportunity is a different matter altogether.  As I alluded, there is no viable Republican presence in most inner—city neighborhoods because the latter are almost monolithically Democrat.  In contrast, Republican strongholds are almost never so ideologically homogeneous, as such places invariably have an ample number of denizens of the Democrat persuasion.  Thus, in virtually all areas of the nation Democrats have the necessary forces on the ground to police Republicans, however, in countless inner—city areas the reverse cannot be said to be true.  Therefore, it is obvious that the Democrats have far more opportunity to commit vote fraud than does the GOP.
         
The bottom line is that while there are many ways to steal votes, I can think of only one situation in which a certain party has a definite advantage.  That situation is enjoying political hegemony in a geographical area.  That party is the Democrats. 

And, just speaking from the personal experience of having been raised in Fortress Democrat, I can tell you that many of the Democrat operatives who ply their trade there are crooked enough to hide behind a corkscrew.  So, make no mistake, there are eight million stories of vote fraud in the naked city.

I also can't ignore how the typical liberal world view so often creates a propensity to engage in such behavior.  After all, these are the people who tell us that morality is just a flavor of the day, making no set of values superior to any other.  What is right?  What is wrong?  It's all a matter of perspective, you see. 

Now, are we to believe that such people will suddenly feel constrained by moral imperatives when the vanquishing of their hated political foes is just a bushel of stolen votes away?  Should we naively suppose that they wouldn't lick their chops, apply their 'situational values' and convince themselves that the end justifies the means? 

No, I'm sorry, you can let moral—relativism define you and trot it out as a reason to call sin 'preference.' You can wear that inner smirk as you fancy relativism to be intellectualism and use it to justify cherished behaviors and assuage consciences.  You can pridefully play God as you insist upon being your own author of right and wrong.  But don't think for a moment that I'll trust you.

This is why I say that the Democrats' accusations of vote—fraud are little more than projection.  You see, people — especially ignoble sorts — tend to assume that others operate in the same way they do.  A liar, for instance, will often suspect that others lie the way he does.  Why wouldn't they, thinks he?  After all, it makes sense to look out for 'number one,' so why wouldn't other people follow suit? 

So, a word to the wise: if you want to discover where vote—fraud lies, simply listen closely to the Democrats' allegations of it.  Then all you need do is investigate the Democrats for those very things.

We also should bear in mind that incessant Democrat protestations of vote—fraud serve as a wonderful smokescreen.  It keeps probing eyes fixed on their adversaries, maximizing the chances that their machinations will be shielded from the light of day.

Lest you think I've been too hard on the Democrats, I'll part with some words of praise.  Maybe they are the party best suited to lead us into the heart of the third millennium.  After all, in an age when we need to breathe new life into the American Republic, perhaps the party that can resurrect dead voters is the logical choice.