OK, so I lied, in a manner of sorts,
About what I'd stuffed down inside my shorts.
I should think you're now quite satisfied
That the Berger briefs are declassified.
From jockey shorts down to my socks,
Was a virtual vault for secret docs.
It's a style my president set for me,
Just a quick unzip, they'll never see.
 
Alas, I'm not as slick as Bill,
Don't have his dexterous zipping skill.
But so what clandestine old reports
Were sequestered secretly in my shorts?
So I took a report and may have shred it?
That's commonly called a Clinton edit.
Imagine if Kerry had somehow prevailed;
I'd be Secretary of State, not nearly jailed.
 
Some folks I'm sure are going to insist,
That I got off too easy, a slap on the wrist;
But Bush has me locked in a political pillory,
Awaiting release by the 'Pardon Queen,' Hillary.
Sure, as a crook, I should've developed more skill
After serving such masters as shrewd Hil and Bill;
But with document dodges, I'm not truly handy,
I'm not a Slick Willie, more an ol' Sad Sack Sandy.
 
Russ Vaughn is the Poet Laureate of The American Thinker.