We conservatives certainly missed a great opportunity back in November just after the election. Along with the usual liberal excuse—fest and tone—deaf mystification over values voters came something entirely new this year — talk of secession. Yes, the 'bitterly divided' nation had elected the president in a noticeably geographical pattern and the coastal elites were so angry with their landlocked brethren as to momentarily consider the idea of leaving the Union. Perhaps they'd forgotten that this had been tried before?

Now waging war over the abolition of slavery surely trumps waging war to redefine marriage, but this notion of seceding does serve to highlight the modern elite's understanding of Jefferson's 'light or transient causes' as described in the Declaration. We may no longer be a serious people.

Republicans, of course, initially reacted with restrained glee at the liberal hangover as well as the glorious prospects offered by the sweeping victory. Now we conservatives are experiencing a 'morning after' of our own. With a Republican majority in both houses of Congress, prospective Republican control of judiciary appointments, and a Republican in the White House, have we conservatives reached the Promised Land?

Alas, no. 'We are all liberals now.' would be the new Republican mantra if truth be told. Bush and his administration are out to 'do good' and 'fix problems.' Spending is out of sight, and more ominously, the power of the federal government grows each day with no restraining impulse visible. An empty realization breaks in for dispirited conservatives. We won the battles only to lose the war.

Therefore, as a conservative Pennsylvania resident, since Pennsylvania voted itself through the providence of unintended consequences into a 'blue' or seceding state, I take it upon myself to urge my fellow Pennsylvanians, of all political persuasions, to think seriously about this secession notion, not to join a new confederacy of angry coastal elites, but rather have the great Commonwealth of Pennsylvania strike out on its own. I have to write it here, because it is so difficult for me to speak with my tongue so firmly in my cheek.

Of course, the loss of the Keystone State would be a mighty blow to the Union. Of all the fifty states, long united, it has surely been the most important historically. In fact, the very nation itself was founded here. The Declaration of Independence was written here, as were the Articles of Confederation and the U.S. Constitution. Truly, it can be said that the nation was born in Philadelphia, baptized at Valley Forge, and confirmed in the bloody fields of Gettysburg.

The most hallowed names of our national past have done some of their most important and lasting work here, Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and of course the original Founding Father and gift to the world, the Philadelphia printer, Ben Franklin.

The modern industrial world has its roots in Pennsylvania. Oil was discovered and the great petroleum industry began in a small Pennsylvania town. Names that personify industries began their ascent here, Rockefeller in oil, Carnegie in steel, and  J.P. Morgan, through his partners, the House of Drexel of Philadelphia, in international finance.

All that said, if need be Pennsylvania, of all the eastern States, is unique in its ability to go it alone. Blessed with a land area larger than the country of Ireland, it has an abundance of natural resources—coal, oil, timber, fertile plains, rugged mountains, and although seemingly landlocked at first glance, it has direct port access to the Great Lakes as well as access to the Atlantic Ocean, the Chesapeake Bay, and the Gulf of Mexico through its mighty rivers. It has two world—class cities in Pittsburgh and Philadelphia. Culturally diverse, home to great orchestras, museums, and theaters, some of the world's finest and most respected universities and medical research centers are found here. And I haven't even mentioned sports —— or chocolate.

So in response to the exasperating liberal tendencies of the now dominant Republican establishment, I regretfully say we must declare Pennsylvania a sovereign independent republic! Perhaps this alone will enable the concentration of the political mind on some important neglected subjects. Conservatism and liberty will have a new birth. The impediments of the nanny—state will disappear and allow our new, small, insular, nation to flourish.

                                                    

Think of the benefits. Freedom from federal taxation and laws will unfetter our dynamic people and industries. Problems of 'Empire' will disappear and we will need only to defend our state border. Our roads, bridges and infrastructure can be rebuilt from these funds and education will improve with renewed local investment, involvement, and focus. We can also change some laws without federal interference, maybe even allow schoolchildren to pray, and celebrate Christmas even. Oh, happy days will be here again!

     

Andrew Sumereau is a writer residing in East Stroudsburg, PA